The Anxious To Secure PODCAST

23: How to Heal your 🖤 Anxious Attachment Style (FAST) Part 1

📚 Attachment ✎ᝰ.Self-Study Vault 🫶🏻❤️‍🩹 (worksheets, guides, downloads, etc)
📢 ON SALE: 🖤 Attachment 101 Master Guide 🖤(👀 Anxious spin to Secure within)
 
 
FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ (join 4K others)
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
How to Heal Your Anxious Attachment Style (Part 1)
Are you constantly overthinking every little thing your partner says or does? 🧐Feeling anxious every time they need space or don’t respond right away? 📱And maybe, you’re always wondering if they’re going to leave you? 😥
Trust me, I’ve been there. I know what it feels like to be stuck in that cycle. But here’s the thing: You can heal. 🖤
In this episode, we dive deep into 3 key ways to heal your anxious attachment.
Plus, I’m sharing the 6 areas of transformation that will guide you on this journey toward feeling more secure, calm, and confident in your relationships.
You’ll also understand why taking action NOW is a game-changer, and how starting TODAY can lead to long-term healing and emotional freedom.
Listen in for insights, strategies, and a reminder that you can totally break free from those anxious thoughts and fears.
Enjoy the journey to secure attachment! 🎧 Yayy.
Lots of love, Jula Your Anxious To Secure Coach
 
🎧💌📖 FREE COURSE: How to stop overthinking in Your relationships 
25 free resources and worksheets...
 
📢 ON SALE 📢 
TEXT ANXIETY - How to STOP obsessing over their text in 21 days or less (it's never about the text..)Mini Course:
STOP OVERTHINKING Your Relationship with your AVOIDANT Partner in 4 STEPS Mini Course:
 

22: ❤️‍🔥 Valentines Day Anxiety? I've got you.

❤️‍🔥 Valentine’s Day Anxiety? Let’s Talk.
📢 ON SALE: 🖤 Attachment 101 Master Guide 🖤(👀Anxious spin to Secure within)
 
If you’re a hopeless romantic, you LOVE love, or you’re a highly sensitive person (HSP) like me, Valentine’s Day can feel like A LOT. The pressure. The expectations. The overthinking. 🚨
I wasn’t even planning this episode… but then I looked at the calendar and realized—this day can be a HUGE trigger for anxiety. So, I grabbed my mic and recorded something just for you.
 
In this episode, we’re diving into:
✨ Why Valentine’s Day can send your anxiety into overdrive✨ The ‘should’ traps that make you spiral✨ How comparisons & love language misunderstandings create tension✨ The BIG mistake anxious souls make when looking for security✨ And most importantly—how to shift your thoughts so you actually enjoy the day (without losing your mind).
 
If Valentine’s Day feels heavy, this episode is your reset button. 🎙️
 
📚 Attachment ✎ᝰ.Self-Study Vault 🫶🏻❤️‍🩹 (worksheets, guides, downloads, etc)
🎧💌📖 FREE COURSE: How to stop overthinking in Your relationships 
25 free resources and worksheets....
 
 

21: ONE tool that works for ALL Anxious Archetypes

The ONE Tool That Works for ALL Anxious Archetypes 🎧
I’ve been using this tool in my own life and relationship, and let me tell you, it’s a GAME CHANGER. 🎮
It’s called THE OPPOSITE SKILL 🪄, and it’s a must-know if you’re working on calming your nervous system and transforming how you react in moments of anxiety or conflict.
Here’s the deal:
When we feel anxious, our bodies go into fight-or-flight mode. Our heart races, our breath becomes shallow, and we feel the need to either run away or defend ourselves. This is your body trying to protect you, but when it comes to relationships, this can be EXHAUSTING. 😣
That’s where the Opposite Skill comes in. It’s all about doing the opposite of what your body is telling you to do—essentially, teaching your brain that you’re safe. 🧘‍♀️
 
🎙️ In this episode, we’ll talk about:
💪 How anxiety triggers our fight-or-flight response in relationships🧠 Why the Opposite Skill helps reset your nervous system🪄 How to apply the Opposite Skill for each Anxious Archetype (The Warrior, The Dreamer, The Pleaser, and The Overachiever)💖 My own personal experience and how this tool has helped me stay calm when triggered
Trust me, if you’ve been feeling like your nervous system is on overdrive, you’ll want to hear this.
🎧 Listen now
 
🖤✨ Jula
P.S. This is your reminder: YOU are safe, even in those tough moments. Let’s reset and find your calm together. 💖
 
FREE STUFF
💎 FREE MINI 💎:  Free mini-course: 5x5 lessons STOP Overthinking Your Relationships 🥹❤️‍🩹
 
MORE
🫶 Instant Download my ATTACHMENT Master Guide: 149 pages (secrets, stories, jaw dropping realisations of how to transform your attachment...)
Attachment Style QUIZ - Do you REALLY have an anxious attachment style?
 
👀🫣 Find out your Anxious Archetype (3min FREE QUIZ)
 
🤍 COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING 🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
 
Resources:
🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
🤍 COACHING:
1:1 VIP SOS Session
 
 
Disclaimer: My content is not meant for anyone in abusive relationships.

20: 😳Anxious Attachment: Is it Love or Anxiety?

Are You in Love… or Just Anxious? 🎧
🖤 Secure Self-Study Vault 🫶🏻🖤
Let’s get real for a sec… is it love or anxiety is an important question in realtionships.
If you have an anxious attachment, this question can feel like a full-on identity crisis. Because when you meet someone, it can feel SO intense—like they’re your whole world overnight. But is that deep love, or just the fear of losing them?
This week on The Anxious to Secure Podcast, we’re breaking down:
❤️‍🔥 The FEAR that’s actually driving anxious attachment⛈️ Why you don’t need to panic—even if this hits hard✨ 8 journaling prompts to find out if you’re staying out of LOVE or FEAR🧠 The science behind excitement vs. anxiety (because YES, your brain is playing tricks on you!)💡 The truth about different relationship stages—so you stop mistaking chaos for connection
If you’ve ever wondered, Am I in love? Or am I just attached?—this episode is for you.
 
FREE STUFF
💎 FREE MINI 💎:  Free mini-course: 5x5 lessons STOP Overthinking Your Relationships 🥹❤️‍🩹
 
MORE
🫶 Instant Download my ATTACHMENT Master Guide: 149 pages (secrets, stories, jaw dropping realisations of how to transform your attachment...)
Attachment Style QUIZ - Do you REALLY have an anxious attachment style?
 
👀🫣 Find out your Anxious Archetype (3min FREE QUIZ)
 
🤍 COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING 🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
 

19: Anxious ARCHETYPE - Relationship Anxiety Tools 💕🛠 (Part 02)

MORE FREE RESOURCES:
💎 NEW💎:  Free mini-course: 5x5 lessons STOP Overthinking Your Relationships 🫶🏻🥹❤️‍🩹
Challenge Your Thoughts CHEAT SHEET: To stop running on Auto-Pilot
Learn to REASSURE Yourself + STOP Chasing External Reassurance
👀🫣Find out your Anxious Archetype (3min free QUIZ)
Stop Being Needy Guide: 3 Steps
Attachment Style QUIZ - Do you REALLY have an anxious attachment style?
 
🤍 QUICK MINI COURSES - SMALL:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner) Only for 47
TEXT ANXIETY Mini Course: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less - only 27
Anxious ARCHETYPE - Relationship Anxiety Tools (Part 2)
In this episode, we’re diving into PRACTICAL tools for each anxious archetype: Warrior, Dreamer, Pleaser, and Overachiever. Learn how to tackle relationship anxiety with journaling exercises, self-reflection techniques, and actionable steps designed specifically for your archetype.
 
What you’ll get:
A quick recap of anxious archetypes
Tools for breaking anxious patterns
Specific strategies to create emotional balance and calm
 
★ Takeaways ✨
★ Understanding your anxious archetype can enhance relationship dynamics.★ The warrior archetype often feels the need to control situations.★ Pausing before reacting can help in managing anxiety.★ Overthinking can be counterproductive and lead to emotional distress.★ Journaling can help clarify thoughts and reduce anxiety.★ The pleaser archetype often neglects their own needs for others.★ Setting boundaries is crucial for self-care and mental health.★ Rest is essential for self-worth and emotional well-being.★ One specific Mindfulness techniques can be beneficial for all archetypes
 
Chapters:🕒 00:20 Recap of Anxious Archetypes🕒 02:03 Warrior Archetype Tools🕒 09:51 Dreamer Archetype Tools🕒 11:25 Journaling for Dreamers🕒 16:14 Pleaser Archetype Tools🕒 25:35 Overachiever Archetype Tools🕒 31:38 A tool for every archetype
Go from relationship anxiety and low-key survival mode to feeling emotionally safe, regulated, present, and thriving again. ✨

18: Relationship Anxiety❤️‍🔥: The Problem with 'When You Know, You Know'

Are you waiting for this moment to KNOW if your partner is “the one”? 😳✨ (take me 3 min Anxiety or Intuition Quiz)
NEW:
💎 NEW💎:  Free mini-course: 5x5 lessons STOP Overthinking Your Relationships 🫶🏻
🤍 FREE WORKSHEETS + DOWNLOADS:
Stop Being Needy Guide: 3 Steps
WORRY-FREE Flow Chart: Free Download
Is it Anxiety or Intuition: 3min digital Quiz
Learn to REASSURE Yourself + STOP Chasing External Reassurance
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety
✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached
🤍 COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING 🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
Are you waiting for this moment to KNOW if your partner is “the one”? 😳✨
Ever find yourself wondering, “Is this THE relationship?” Waiting for that magical moment of certainty to just hit? 💭
Do you feel triggered when you hear the phrase "When you know, you know" … but YOU never knew? You’ve always felt uncertain. You’ve never had this big, WOW moment where your partner is just obviously "THE ONE."
Are you supposed to know?
Maybe you’ve never been sure about your partner or your relationship.
It’s called relationship anxiety… and I’ve got you. 🖤
Because honestly? That phrase used to trigger me hard when I felt uncertain in my own relationship.
 
Today on The Anxious to Secure Podcast 🎙️
We’re unpacking the myth of "When you know, you know"—and why it might be setting you up to doubt yourself and your relationship. 💔
But don’t worry, I’ll also share some empowering questions you can ask yourself instead.
 
In this episode, we’ll dive into…
⚡ How the "When you know, you know" myth creates unrealistic expectations.⚡ My personal story of doubt vs. certainty in my current relationship (spoiler: I had MORE doubts than ever after the honeymoon phase!).⚡ What real love actually looks like—and why it’s not black-and-white.⚡ How anxious attachment gets triggered when you feel uncertain.⚡ Coaching questions to help you stop overthinking and start building true security.
 
The truth?You don’t need a HUGE sign to feel safe in your relationship.
It’s not about waiting for certainty. It’s about doing the work, calming your anxious thoughts, and deciding to go ALL IN. ✨
 
Episode Breakdown
00:00 The Myth of "When You Know, You Know"01:23 Doubt vs. Certainty: My Personal Story02:43 The Truth About Real Love: It’s a decision, not magic.03:52 Why "When You Know" Feels Misleading05:05 Calm vs. Chaos in Love06:57 Rewiring Your Brain for Stability08:04 How to Know if They’re The One (Without Overthinking It)09:06 The Reality Behind “When You Know”13:46 You Don’t Need a SIGN to Feel Safe in Your Relationship20:02 How This ONE Thing Melted My Doubts20:39 “If It’s Not Easy, Then Something Must Be Wrong.”24:06 The Dangers of Comparison in Love and How It Fuels Doubt31:40 “When You Know, You Know” as a Perfectionism TRAP34:09 Coaching Questions About Doubts and Anxiety in Relationships36:10 The Real Question Isn’t “Is My Partner The One?”—It’s…
 
Key Takeaways
✨ The phrase 'When you know, you know' sets unrealistic expectations in relationships.✨ Certainty in love doesn’t magically appear—it’s built through action and commitment.✨ Attachment styles play a HUGE role in how we experience relationships.✨ Conflict is NORMAL in relationships and can lead to growth when handled well.✨ Comparing your relationship to others only creates unnecessary anxiety.✨ Real love is a decision you make daily—it’s not about perfection or ease.✨ Trust comes from consistent actions and open communication.✨ Focusing on the present moment reduces relationship anxiety.✨ Doubts are an opportunity to grow and deepen your connection.✨ Choosing each other daily is the foundation of a healthy, lasting relationship.
 
Ever find yourself wondering, “Is this THE relationship?” Waiting for that magical moment of certainty to just hit? 💭
Do you feel triggered when you hear the phrase "When you know, you know" …
 

17. Which Anxious ARCHETYPE Are You? Your Relationship Survival Response (Part 01)

Which Anxious ARCHETYPE Are You? Find out HERE
Your Relationship Survival Response...✨
Ever wonder why your anxiety shows up the way it does in your relationships? Today, I’m breaking it down with a fun and powerful framework: The 4 Anxious Archetypes—the Dreamer, the Pleaser, the Warrior, and the Overachiever.
These archetypes are all about HOW your anxious attachment plays out in different situations. From conflict to connection, each one reveals the unique way you respond to challenges in your relationship.
In this episode, we’ll explore:⚡ What anxious survival responses are and why they exist⚡ The 4 archetypes and how they protect you⚡ How to identify YOUR primary archetype⚡ Why recognizing this is the first step toward becoming secure
Your anxious behaviors don’t define you—they’re just one piece of the puzzle. Ready to uncover which archetype fits you best and start creating a more secure, confident version of yourself? 🎧✨
🖤 P.S. Don’t miss next week’s episode, where we’ll dive into actionable tools to work with your archetype!
 
🤍 COURSES:
💎 NEW💎:  Free mini-course: 5x5 lessons STOP Overthinking Your Relationships 🫶🏻🥹❤️‍🩹
 
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
 
MORE FREE RESOURCES:
Challenge Your Thoughts CHEAT SHEET: To stop running on Auto-Pilot
Learn to REASSURE Yourself + STOP Chasing External Reassurance
👀🫣Find out your Anxious Archetype (3min free QUIZ)
 
 

16: ⚖️ When Relationships with Your Avoidant Partner feels one sided 🥹

⚖️ When Relationships with Your Avoidant Partner Feels One-Sided
 
🖤 Secure Self-Study Vault 🫶🏻🖤
 
Does this sound like you?
You feel like you’re pulling all the weight.
You’re trying to fix the relationship, but your partner withdraws even more.
The relationship feels so one-sided.
The more you try, the more they seem to slip away.
You know giving them space is key, but NOTHING changes.
If you’re nodding along, this episode is for YOU. ✨
I’m breaking down:
Should relationships really be 50/50?
Signs you might be focusing on the WRONG things.
How to shift the anxious-avoidant dynamic (and STOP the cycle).
PLUS, I’ll touch on when it’s time to break it off—especially if you’re only accepting breadcrumbs. 🖤 While many of you are in healthy relationships with avoidant partners, this part will help you decide if you’re not.
It’s a JUICY one, so hit play now! 🎧✨  Love, Jula
 
Resources:
🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
🤍 COACHING:
1:1 VIP SOS Session
🤍 FREE WORKSHEETS + DOWNLOADS:
Stop Being Needy Guide: 3 Steps
WORRY-FREE Flow Chart: Free Download
🤍 COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING 🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach

15: 👩🏻‍❤️‍👨🏻 Secure VS Insecure Attachment - How we React differently to triggers (Part 2)

🚩When your partner's mood is "off"
…and how EACH attachment style would react differently.
Did you ever wonder how a secure partner would react? 
This episode continues the Attachment Style  Guide— I’m talking through how EVERY attachment style reacts to triggers differently... super revealing:
You’ll learn:🖤 Why anxious attachment triggers might feel overwhelming🌻 How avoidant partners often shut down instead✨ What secure attachment reactions actually look like (and how to get there)📓 The role of childhood in shaping these reactions
This isn’t just about anxious attachment anymore—it’s about understanding how ALL styles respond to triggers. 
🎧 Listen Now
Love, Bye byeeJula
P.S. When you get where your triggers come from,
you’ll feel more in control and secure in your relationship 💡
 
✅ The Anxious To Secure CHECKLIST ✅
❗ 6 Signs you have Abandonment Fears ❗
🤍 Anxious Attachment Inventory Exercise 🤍
 
🤍 COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING 🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
🤍 COACHING:
1:1 VIP SOS Session 
 
☎️ 30min Ice-Breaker Chat (to see if coaching is right for you)
 

14: Do My Parents REALLY Create My🤱Anxious Attachment Style?

Today, I’m breaking down why your anxious attachment isn’t always about your parents. 🧠✨
🚨Spoiler Alert: You can have a good, peaceful childhood and STILL end up with an anxious attachment style.
If you’ve ever wondered, "Why the heck am I like this when my parents were great?" — this episode is for you.
We’ll talk:✨ The 2 BIG factors that shape attachment styles (beyond just parenting)🌻 10 Micro examples to help you connect the dots in YOUR life🖤 How understanding this helps you stop taking your partner’s words and actions so personally
P.S. If you're a parent, I’ll also share how you can avoid passing these attachment patterns on to your kids. 💡
Enjoy! 
 
🤍 Jump on the Anxious To Secure Waitlist and get my BLUEPRINT on how I became securely attached in just 6 months.
😱📱5 Steps to Handle It When Your Partner Doesn’t Text Back 
🖤🤍 3min Attachment Style QUIZ  👀
📱 Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
✍🏼 Free Anxious Attachment Roots Journal Prompts
🧘🏻‍♀️ WORRY-FREE Flow Chart: Free Download
 
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach
🤍 KICK off your Coaching Journey: 1:1 VIP SOS Session