The Anxious To Secure PODCAST

117: *26 Practical things* to heal anxious attachment & become securely attached (in 2026)

If you’re still anxiously attached…If you still overthink texts If silence feels like danger If you’re tired of feeling “too much” or not enough 
This episode is for YOU. 
In this podcast, I share 26 practical, real-life things you can start doing in 2026 to finally heal anxious attachment and become SECURELY ATTACHED not just in love, but in life. 
Because this work doesn’t just change your relationships.It changes your ANXIETY, your MENTAL HEALTH, your BODY, your CAREER, your SELF-ESTEEM
 
I was anxiously attached for 30+ years.And becoming secure changed EVERYTHING for me. 
Not just how I love.But how I breathe.How I sleep.How I show upHow safe I feel inside myself. 
Whether you’re in your 20s, 30s, or 40s —This is some of the most IMPORTANT WORK you’ll ever do. 
 
Because what’s the point of:➞ money➞ holidays➞ birthdays➞ success➞ relationships
…if you feel anxious, insecure, and disconnected from yourself inside? 🚩
 
In this episode, you’ll learn how to:★ Stop outsourcing your safety to a partner★ Calm your nervous system (for REAL)★ Self-soothe instead of spiraling★ Set boundaries through ACTION, not begging 🚦★ Stop overgiving + start receiving 🤍★ Sit in discomfort without panicking★ Heal old wounds instead of reliving them★ Become your OWN source of security 🔒
 
This is not theory.This is PRACTICAL.This is DOABLE.This is LIFE-CHANGING. 🦸🏼‍♀️✨
 
🎧 Grab a pen.📓 Take notes.🫂 Be gentle with yourself.
Your younger YOU deserves this.Your future YOU is counting on you. 💎🫶
 
💌 Want my support?You can reach out via email to check if I currently have 1:1 coaching spots available.I coach via WhatsApp or 1:1 video calls. 🛎✨
 
Sending you a secure, calm, empowered 2026 Where you STOP proving.STOP shrinking.And START choosing YOU. 
 
Love,Jula
 
 
👇 RESOURCES 👇
💎 Courses✨ Stop FINALLY Obsessing Over Texts
➞ https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety
 
💛 Free Stuff – 30+ resourcesFree Attachment Library + more offers➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Introduction to Anxious Attachment and Healing03:19 00 Delay Caffeine when you wake up05:09 01 Check if you’re really anxiously attached06:00 02 Define what “securely attached” means for YOU10:02 03 Identify your most impactful areas to work on11:35 04 Shift focus from your partner to YOU12:57 05 Have a backup plan ready15:30 06 Learn to self-soothe18:03 07 Self-soothe through physical touch19:01 08 Acts of service for yourself20:04 09 Gifts for yourself20:57 10 Learn to RECEIVE22:54 11 Be consistent23:34 12 Focus on what you can control24:47 13 Identify core needs vs. anxious rules26:39 14 Boundaries through action, not words28:53 15 Reassure yourself first29:28 16 Stop bullying yourself30:16 17 Remove triggers & surround yourself with secure energy31:14 18 Envision your secure self every morning32:25 19 Name your emotions out loud33:32 20 Do body scans35:11 21 Pause before reactive behavior36:15 22 Identify your real fears37:55 23 Recognize triggers from your past39:28 24 Prioritize YOU40:28 25 Learn to sit in discomfort41:54 26 Talk to your younger self
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
 

116: *36 Life Lessons* Part 2 about becoming securely attached, love, relationships YOU'll need to know

36 LESSONS I’VE LEARNED ABOUT LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS, ATTACHMENT & SELF-WORTH 🎙✨🖤
This episode is for you if you’ve ever loved deeply…and lost yourself in the process 🫂💔
 
👇 RESOURCES 👇
💎 Courses✨ Stop FINALLY Obsessing Over Texts
➞ https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety
 
💛 Free Stuff – 30+ resourcesFree Attachment Library➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
If you’ve ever:➞ overthought every text 📱⛈➞ confused anxiety with intuition 🔮🚩➞ stayed too long because of hope 🎢➞ abandoned your routines, friends, or goals for love➞ felt “too much” and “not enough” at the same time 🥶🔥
These 36 lessons are not theory.They’re lived.Felt.Learned the hard way 💎🧠✨
This episode is about anxious attachment, emotional safety, boundaries, self-esteem, self-worth, friendships, and secure love.Not in a perfect, polished way.But in a real, honest, nervous-system-level way 🫂🔒
You’ll hear why secure people don’t chase, they attract.Not because they’re lucky.But because they choose themselves first 🖤✨
You’ll learn how your body knows before your brain does.Why butterflies aren’t always a green flag.And how tight chests, knots in your stomach, and “chemistry” can actually be your past asking for attention 🚩🪞
 
We talk about boundaries.Why they don’t push the right people away.Why they filter out what no longer matches your energy.And why people-pleasing was never keeping you safe in the first place 🔒✨
You’ll hear the truth about “boring” love.Why healthy love can feel unfamiliar when chaos felt like home.And how peace becomes the most exciting thing once your nervous system learns it’s safe 🌤🧘🏼‍♀️
 
This episode breaks down why chemistry without safety is often trauma bonding.Why you don’t need one soulmate.Why slow, steady connections deserve time.And how peace doesn’t mean lack of passion long-term 💛🔥
We also talk about self-esteem.Not the fluffy kind.The real kind 💪🏽🖤
 
You’ll learn why self-esteem grows through actions, not affirmations alone.Why tiny brave acts change your attachment patterns.And how choosing yourself consistently changes who chooses you 💎
There’s also truth about growth.How you may lose people as you heal.Why that’s not a failure.And how outgrowing old dynamics is often a sign you’re finally coming back to yourself 🦋✨
You’ll hear why love should add to your life, not become your whole life.Why interdependence beats obsession.And how missing someone doesn’t automatically mean they belong in your future 🫂🚪
We talk about nervous system regulation.Why the same relationship feels different when YOU are regulated.Why you stop sending anxious paragraphs.Why you stop abandoning yourself first 🧠🔒
And finally, the truth that changes everything:Hope is not a strategy. Action is.
If something in your life isn’t working, waiting won’t fix it.Healing requires movement.Boundaries.New standards.New choices ✨💥
This episode is a mirror.Not to judge you.But to remind you who you are 🪞🖤
Listen if you’re ready to stop chasing love…and start choosing yourself.
Because your healing doesn’t start with someone else changing.It starts with YOU.Thought by thought.Action by action.And one honest decision at a time
 
 
 
🖤 About meI’m Jula, an attachment style coach.I help women heal trust issues, stop chasing, and build secure love ✨
 
💌 Work with me➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy
WhatsApp Coaching ➞ https://www.julanoelle.com/textandtalk
 
CHAPTERS:
Part 02:
00:00 intro 36 Lessons about love, attachment, self-esteem etc00:36 lesson 1905:04 lesson 2510:01 lesson 3013:05 lesson 35
14:52 lesson 35
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

115: *36 Life Lessons* about love, relationships Attachment

This episode is for the version of you who feels like they’re behind in life…even though they’ve already survived so much 🫂⛈
If you’ve ever thought:➞ “I should be married by now”➞ “Everyone else has it figured out except me”➞ “Why do I always overthink, attach, or care more?”➞ “Why does love feel so hard when I try so much?”
This episode will land DEEP 💎🧠✨
In Part 01, I’m sharing the first 18 life lessons I’ve learned about love, anxious attachment, self-esteem, self-worth, friendships, confidence, healing, and choosing yourself.Not from books.Not from theory.From LIVING it 🖤
We start with one of the most important truths:You are not behind.
 
Even if you’re not married.Even if you don’t have the house, the kids, or the five-year plan.Even if your life doesn’t look “right” on paper 📄🚩
 
You’ll hear why your brain lies to you about timelines…and how comparison keeps you disconnected from your own growth 🪞
We talk about why your brain obsesses over the ONE person who doesn’t choose you…while ignoring the people who already do 💔🎢And how anxious attachment turns “hard to get” into “must have” 🚩
You’ll learn why everything you want already exists…and how following the right blueprint changes what feels possible for you 
We also get real about confidence.The difference between external confidence (looks, body, validation)and real inner confidence that doesn’t disappear when no one texts back 📱🥶
You’ll hear why anxiety isn’t proof something is wrong.It’s proof your brain THINKS something is wrong 🧠🚨And how butterflies, nerves, and intensity are not the same as love ❤️‍🔥🚩
 
We talk about:✣ Why doing the same thing over and over keeps you stuck✣ Why closure doesn’t come from them, it comes from YOU✣ How repetition literally rewires your brain and attachment style✣ Why self-criticism trains your nervous system to feel unsafe✣ How self-trust is built in seconds, not years
 
There’s a powerful reminder that one day…you’ll miss the life you’re living right now 🌤🫂Even the “boring” days.Even the messy chapters.
We talk about gratitude without bypassing pain.About how modern dating and technology have changed connection.And why slowing down your nervous system matters more than getting answers 🔒🧘🏼‍♀️
 
This episode also dives into:✣ Why postponing happiness keeps you anxious✣ Why healing is about the DAILY habits, not the end goal✣ Why forcing love never creates safety✣ Why anxious attachment is NOT your personality✣ How abandonment wounds make you chase reassurance instead of safety
And one of the biggest shifts:If you’ve abandoned yourself long enough, others will too.
 
Over-giving isn’t love.It’s fear wearing a cute outfit 🫂🚩
This episode is a mirror 🪞Not to shame you.But to remind you who you are beneath the anxiety 💎
Listen if you want to:➞ stop chasing reassurance➞ stop overthinking texts➞ stop feeling “too much”➞ and start building real emotional safety within yourself
 
Because healing doesn’t start with fixing your partner.It starts with choosing yourself.Again.And again.And again 🖤✨
🎧 After listening, tell me:Which lesson hit you in the chest the most?And which one are you ready to LIVE next?
Lots of love 🫶I see you.And I’ll see you in Part 02 ✨🎙
 
 
👇 RESOURCES 👇
💎 Courses✨ Stop FINALLY Obsessing Over Texts
➞ https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety
 
💛 Free Stuff – 30+ resourcesFree Attachment Library➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
🖤 About meI’m Jula, an attachment style coach.I help women heal trust issues, stop chasing, and build secure love ✨
 
💌 Work with me➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy
WhatsApp Coaching ➞ https://www.julanoelle.com/textandtalk
 
CHAPTER:
00:00 Celebrating 36 Years: A Journey of Lessons01:15 lesson 0103:36 lesson 0204:18 lesson 0305:18 lesson 0406:17 lesson 0507:19 lesson 0607:47 lesson 0708:12 lesson 0808:55 lesson 0909:58 lesson 1011:29 lesson 1113:59 lesson 1216:12 lesson 1317:06 lesson 1417:34 lesson 1518:05 lesson 1619:38 lesson 1720:52 lesson 18
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

114: Why affirmations can make you MORE anxious or simply don't work (for love, relationships, secure attachment))

Why do affirmations sometimes make you MORE anxious instead of calm? 🌪Why do they feel fake… forced… or even triggering? 🧨And why do you end up overthinking MORE after saying them? 🧠💭
If you’ve ever thought:➞ “Affirmations don’t work for me.”➞ “I feel worse after saying them.”➞ “They just make me more aware of my fears.”
You’re not broken 🫂You’re not doing it wrong 🖤Your brain is just doing EXACTLY what it’s designed to do 🔒🧠
In this episode, I explain why most affirmations don’t work for anxious attachment — and how they can actually strengthen your abandonment fears, texting anxiety, and relationship overthinking 🚩
You’ll learn:✨ Why your brain hears fear words FIRST✨ Why repeating affirmations without feeling them backfires✨ Why big “I am secure” statements get rejected✨ Why timing matters more than repetition✨ Why your BODY must feel safe before your mind believes
And then I walk you through a simple 5-step action plan to make affirmations ACTUALLY work — in real life, in real relationships, during real triggers 💪🏽🖤
This is for you if:➞ You overthink texts 📱➞ You panic when there’s space or silence 🌪➞ You feel needy, clingy, or “too much” 🩹➞ You want secure attachment but don’t know how to get there 🗝
No fluff.No toxic positivity.No lying to your nervous system.
Just attachment-safe tools that calm your body, rewire your brain, and help you feel steady inside yourself 🔒✨
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Understanding Affirmations and Attachment Anxiety01:03 Why changing your limiting beliefs is important to becoming securely attached02:28 01. The brain hears words literally05:10 02. Repeating without feeling doesn’t work10:28 03. You affirmations are NOT believable13:46 04. You're not repeating it in the RIGHT moment17:11 05. Aligning Actions with Affirmations20:02 How to become secure with coaching23:23 5 Steps how to make affirmations work for love, secure attachment and self-esteem32:05 Bottom line
 
 
👇 RESOURCES 👇
💎 Courses✨ Stop FINALLY Obsessing Over Texts
➞ https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety
 
💛 Free Stuff – 30+ resourcesFree Attachment Library➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
🖤 About meI’m Jula, an attachment style coach.I help women heal trust issues, stop chasing, and build secure love ✨
 
💌 Work with me➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy
WhatsApp Coaching ➞ https://www.julanoelle.com/textandtalk
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

113: YOUR trust issues will make HIM break your trust (Anxious-Avoidant Trust Cycle)

Your Trust Issues Will Make Him Break Your Trust in your anxious-avoidant relationship
Have you ever thought:
“I trust my boyfriend when he’s done nothing wrong… so why am I still anxious?”
“Why do I always worry my partner might leave me?”
“Why do trust issues show up even in healthy relationships?”
 
This episode is for women with trust issues, relationship anxiety, and fear of abandonment who feel on edge even when nothing bad is happening.
If you’ve been the “chill” woman on the outside while secretly scanning for danger on the inside… re-reading texts, checking tone, bracing for pain...you’re not broken. Your brain is running a self-fulfilling prophecy. 🌀
 
We’ll break down:
How trust issues form (even when men haven’t actually betrayed you)
Why anxiety behaviors push secure men away and activate avoidant ones
How over-checking, reassurance-seeking, and control loops reinforce the belief “men can’t be trusted”
Why your nervous system is protecting you... and how that protection turns into self-sabotage
You’ll learn how to rebuild trust in yourself, regulate your nervous system, and shift out of hypervigilance.. so love stops feeling like a threat and starts feeling safe again. 
 
 
⏰ Chapters
00:00 Why trust issues create self-fulfilling prophecies02:14 Dating stage: trust issues in the talking phase06:48 How anxiety behaviors push good men away11:02 Relationship stage: overthinking, jealousy, reassurance loops15:40 Why avoidant partners are drawn to anxious patterns19:30 The psychology behind “I trust him but still feel unsafe”23:10 The real shift: rebuilding trust in yourself27:05 4 mini steps to rewire trust31:40 What changes when trust heals
 
💎 Courses✨ Stop FINALLY Obsessing Over Texts
➞ https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety
 
💛 Free Stuff – 30+ resourcesFree Attachment Library➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
🖤 About meI’m Jula, an attachment style coach.I help women heal trust issues, stop chasing, and build secure love ✨
 
💌 Work with me➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy
WhatsApp Coaching ➞ https://www.julanoelle.com/textandtalk
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

112: Why isn't my partner saying 🗣️💖 I love you MORE (back or first) (7 truths you're missing)

Have you been wondering: “Why isn’t my partner saying ‘I love you’ more?”
Or maybe it’s more like:
Why does my boyfriend not say “I love you” first?
Why does my husband not say “I love you” back sometimes?
Why does he just say “love you” or “me too” instead of the words I need? 🌪
 
7 Truths you’re MISSING about love, words, and attachment
Hey love… if your chest tightens when he says “love you” instead of “I love you,” or a simple “me too” makes your stomach drop 🌪, this episode is for you.
 
If you’re re-reading texts, scanning every emoji, and panicking:🧨 “Is he pulling away?”🧨 “Did the love change?”🧨 “Is something wrong?”
…then this is EXACTLY for your anxious attachment brain 
Here’s the truth: it’s probably NOT about him.
Not about your relationship.
And definitely not about you.
 
Most likely, your partner loves you deeply… but shows it in a different language than your nervous system was shaped to understand.
Yay. (thats the GOOD news.) 🕊💛
 
This episode is for women with relationship anxiety, fear of abandonment, and those hypervigilant to verbal reassurance.
You’ll learn how to see his love, read his actions, and shift your nervous system so you stop chasing or doubting.
If you’re ready to feel safe, loved, and confident in your relationship, even when the words aren’t exactly what your brain expects, press play 🎧🩹🤍
 
⏰ Chapters
00:00 Understanding Love Language and Attachment Styles02:30 What if he doesn't love me anymore?02:47 First… this fear is NOT about your partner04:37 Second… words are NOT the only proof of love08:58 Third… silence doesn’t mean distance09:56 Fourth… your fear is a PART of you, not ALL of you11:27 Fifth… ask yourself this instead12:29 Sixth… here’s the honest, empowering truth13:09 Seventh...You are NOT asking for too much (but you NEED words to feel safe))16:54 Last thing
 
 
 
💎 Courses
✨ Stop *FINALLY* Obsessing Over Texts (because YOU're BRIAN is the one creating YOUR anxiety,
NOT how they communicate with you)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety
 
 
💛 Free Stuff 30+ resources
Free Attachment Library
➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
 
🖤 About me
I’m Jula, an attachment style coach.I help women stop chasing, stop overgiving, and attract secure love ✨
 
💌 Work with me
➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy
WhatsApp Coaching
➞ Start Here: https://www.julanoelle.com/textandtalk
 
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

111:*10 truths* about men I wish I KNEW SOONER when I was insecure (part 2)

10 Hard Truths to STOP Chasing (Anxious Attachment & Dating Advice)
If you’re an anxiously attached woman who keeps overthinking texts, overgiving in dating, and chasing emotionally unavailable men, this episode is for you 🖤✨
This is what I wish I knew in my 20s about men and relationships
 before I burned myself out trying to be chosen, trying to be “easy to love,” and trying to make men stay.
In this podcast episode, I share dating advice for anxious attachment, explain how men actually fall in love, and why chasing, proving, and people-pleasing push men away instead of creating connection.
You’ll learn how to stop obsessing, stop abandoning yourself, set healthy boundaries, and attract secure, emotionally available men without playing games or pretending not to care.
This episode is especially for women struggling with relationship anxiety, fear of abandonment, limerence, and anxious-avoidant dating dynamics — the women who keep asking:
“Why do I care more than he does?”“Why do men pull away when I get attached?”
You’re not broken. This is about attachment wiring, not your worth 🔒🧠
 
💎 Courses
✨ Stop *FINALLY* Obsessing Over Texts (because YOU're BRIAN is the one creating YOUR anxiety,
NOT how they communicate with you)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety
 
 
💛 Free Stuff 30+ resources
Free Attachment Library
➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
 
⏰ What you’ll learn in this episode:
00:00 Understanding Men's Love Dynamics00:07 01. Understand how MEN fall in love (not what you think)04:26 02. Let Him Be Your Hero09:57 3. Men are attracted to confidence AND boundaries12:30 4. Men fall for presence, not perfection16:06 5. Physical intimacy creates FAST bonds - use it wisely17:50 6. Men secretly love a woman obsessed with HERSELF19:42 7. The more you abandon yourself, the more emotionally unavailable men show up20:54 8. Give him freedom - the healthiest power move23:07 9. Obsession is a signal - not love24:34 10. Make Him Fear He Could Lose You26:11 Summary
 
 
 
🖤 About me
I’m Jula, an attachment style coach.I help women stop chasing, stop overgiving, and attract secure love ✨
 
💌 Work with me
➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy
WhatsApp Coaching
➞ Start Here: https://www.julanoelle.com/textandtalk
 
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

110: 10 Crucial lessons👨🏻‍💼 I wish I Knew about men in my 20s about MEN (avoid my own mistakes)

➞ Take the 3min FREE Attachment Quiz (3.7K others did before you) https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
What I wish I knew when I was 20 about men.Truly.What would I wish I had known when I was 20? 🫂✨
These are the REAL truths about men I learned the hard way.As an ex–anxious attachment girl.Heartbroken.Overthinking every text 📱Feeling insecure WAY too often 🥶⛈
If you have anxious attachment, this episode is for YOU 🔒🤍If you keep attracting emotionally unavailable men.If you chase, overgive, and lose yourself trying to be chosen.If dating feels like a 🎢 instead of something calm and safe.
In this episode, I’m sharing truths about men for anxious attachment that would have completely changed my 20s.Psychology hacks How men’s brains actually work 🔮How they experience attraction.How they love.And why doing MORE usually pushes them away 🚩
This is NOT men vs women ❌It’s attachment styles.Nervous system wiring Polarity.And why anxious energy quietly kills attraction even when your intentions are pure 🩹
 
I share what actually makes men pursue 🐆Why boundaries create attraction How overgiving backfires.And what secure love really looks like when you stop performing and start being YOU 
This is dating advice for anxious women who want to stop auditioning.Stop proving.Stop waiting by the phone 👀📱And finally feel calm, grounded, and confident in love ✨
 
I’m Jula Attachment style coach.I went from anxious to earned secure 5 years ago in only 6 months🦸🏼‍♀️
Welcome to the Anxious to Secure Podcast 🎙🤍
 
 
CHAPTERS:
 
00:00 10 Truths about men (about attachment styles, polarity, chasing) that would have CHANGED my 20's completely01:27 01. It was NEVER about “men vs women.”02:55 02. You teach a man EXACTLY how to treat you in the FIRST weeks.03:57 03. If you treat him like a toddler, he WILL act like one.05:29 04. If you want a man to pursue you, STOP performing.07:37 05. Men respond to your ENERGY, not your anxiety.09:03 06. Red flags don’t fade - they grow.10:46 07. You were NEVER “too much.” His capacity was too little.12:42 08. A man’s effort is the ONLY real truth - not his words.14:33 9. Love isn’t always “I love you” 50 times a day.17:30 10. If a man is confused about you, he is NOT your person.19:57 Summary
 
 
💛 Free Stuff 30+ resources
Free Attachment Library
➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
 
💎 Courses
ON SALE: ✨ Stop *FINALLY* Obsessing Over Texts (because YOU're BRIAN is the one creating YOUR anxiety,
NOT how they communicate with you)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety
 
ON SALE: 
✨ How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in  only 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner...because every minute you're imagining HIM leaving, you're manifesting it, as you're brain can't tell the difference between imagining and REAL.)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.julanoelle.com/overthinkingcourse
 
 
💬 Work 1:1 with Me
➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy
WhatsApp Coaching
➞ Start Here: https://www.julanoelle.com/textandtalk
 
 
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

109: *10 TRUTHS* That Make Someone Chase You (and stop obsessing over them)

 
If you’re stuck chasing crumbs… overthinking every text… or getting attached to guys who give the BARE minimum — this episode is your wake-up call. 
 
I’m breaking down why your anxious attachment makes you want the most unavailable guy… why your brain obsesses over mixed signals… and why you keep replaying his “hey” like it’s a love letter.
 
You’ll learn the 10 TRUTHS that flip the script — the ones that make HIM chase YOU.
Not by playing games… but by becoming SECURE, magnetic, grounded, and done with the old patterns that kept you stuck. 📓🖤
 
Inside this episode you’ll get:
★ why chasing makes him pull away★ why scarcity makes you crave him★ why your brain confuses rejection with danger★ why you ignore the guy who actually likes you★ why obsession kicks in when your body feels abandonment coming★ and how to detach in a way that makes you feel confident, not cold ✨
By the end, you’ll know exactly how to stop overgiving, stop spiraling, stop proving yourself… and finally let HIM step up.
 
CHAPTER
00:00 Introduction to Transformative Truths01:52 1. Whatever is being CHASED… RUNS03:15 2. The more UNAVAILABLE he is… the more your brain craves him04:59 3. Rejection hits the brain like actual PAIN ⛈️05:59 4. When 19 adore you and 1 ignores you… your brain locks onto the ONE08:07 5. When you chase, he relaxes. When you relax, he CHASES15:15 6. Obsession kicks in when your body thinks you’re about to be ABANDONED20:42 7. If he can PREDICT you… he stops pursuing22:46 8. Your fantasy version of him does 95% of the chasing25:01 Your Homework - 3 easy practical steps to STOP obsessing over HIM
 
 
💛 Free Stuff
Free Attachment Library(30+ worksheets, downloads, guides, flow-charts, prompts, videos, etc)
➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
Like the 💭 CHALLENGE 🔍 Your Thoughts - CHEAT SHEET
To Stop Running On Autopilot
 
💎 Courses
ON SALE: ✨ Stop *FINALLY* Obsessing Over Texts (because YOU're BRIAN is the one creating YOUR anxiety,
NOT how they communicate with you)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety
 
ON SALE: 
✨ How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in  only 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner...because every minute you're imagining HIM leaving, you're manifesting it, as you're brain can't tell the difference between imagining and REAL.)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.julanoelle.com/overthinkingcourse
 
 
💬 Work 1:1 with Me
Personal Coaching(Shift anxious attachment & reclaim your energy)
➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy
WhatsApp Coaching(Daily support + check-ins straight to your phone)
➞ Start Here: https://www.julanoelle.com/textandtalk
 
 
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

108: Pep talk💓🫂 feeling too sensitive, too emotional or too anxious?

💎 (ON SALE)Courses
✨ Stop *FINALLY* Obsessing Over Texts (because YOU're BRIAN is the one creating YOUR anxiety,
NOT how they communicate with you)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
✨ How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in  only 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner...because every minute you're imagining HIM leaving, you're manifesting it, as you're brain can't tell the difference between imagining and REAL.)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
 
Do you often feel overly sensitive, anxious, or like you’re too much in your relationships?
Do your emotions feel intense, your thoughts replay endlessly, or your need for connection feel overwhelming?
You’re not alone
and there’s nothing wrong with how deeply you feel. In this episode, we explore emotional sensitivity, anxious attachment, overthinking, and the power of fully embracing your feelings.
 
Grab a warm drink and save this episode for the times you feel like nothing is going right.
 
You’ll hear why:
Being too sensitive can actually be your superpower
Overthinking is just your brain processing deeply, not a flaw
Needing connection and setting boundaries shows strength
Your past experiences aren’t mistakes—they’re lessons that shaped your growth
Maybe, just maybe… you’re not the problem. Sometimes, others just can’t handle your energy and that’s okay.
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 What if… you’re not actually “too much”?04:02 What if you were never the one who needed “fixing”… and no one told you?
 
💬 Work 1:1 with Me
Personal Coaching(Shift anxious attachment & reclaim your energy)
➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy
WhatsApp Coaching(Daily support + check-ins straight to your phone)
➞ Start Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
💛 Free Stuff
Free Attachment Library(30+ worksheets, downloads, guides, flow-charts, prompts, videos, etc)
➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
Like the 💭 CHALLENGE 🔍 Your Thoughts - CHEAT SHEET
To Stop Running On Autopilot
 
⁀➴  (join 3K OTHERS!) 
➞ Take the 3min FREE Quiz: https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
(Know your type so you do the right work)