The Anxious To Secure PODCAST

09: Why 90% Fail at Relationship Goals & How to Be the Top 10%

Have you ever set a New Year’s resolution to “finally feel secure in your relationship” or overcome your anxiety, only to feel stuck by week two? You’re not alone.
In this episode of The Anxious to Secure Podcast
Why 90% Fail at Relationship Goals & How to Be the Top 10%
✨ Why BIG goals like “becoming securely attached” might actually sabotage you.✨ How to uncover your WHY for lasting change and overcome relationship anxiety.✨ Tools to work WITH your subconscious mind to create emotional security and confidence.✨ Practical strategies to break free from overthinking, people-pleasing, and emotional triggers.
💬 I’ve been in that anxious cycle too, and I’ll share personal stories and tools that helped me break free.
 
Love, Jula 
Your Anxious To Secure Coach
 
🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
 
🤍 COACHING:
1:1 VIP SOS Session
 
🤍 FREE WORKSHEETS + DOWNLOADS:
WORRY-FREE Flow Chart: Free Download
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're
😱📱 Grab Your Free Guide: 5 Steps to Handle It When Your Partner Doesn’t Text Back.
🔍💭Challenge your thoughts - CHEAT SHEET (a must if you want to break through your old stories)
 
🤍 COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING 🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
 
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach

08:🎙🤍MYTH. Your partner is NOT Your parent. STOP thinking they are supposed to take care of your needs. ⛔️🥤

🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
 
Let's bust another Relationship MYTH: "Your partner should take care of your needs like a parent. 👪⛔️"
TRUTH: Your partner isn’t responsible for fixing all your problems—or being your emotional caretaker.
Does this sound like you?❓ Do you vent, hoping they’ll fix everything?❓ Send long, emotional texts, needing them to “get it”?❓ Expect them to meet your emotional needs 24/7?
I get it—I used to do this too. 🖤But here’s what I learned: It’s my job to manage my emotions, not his. Once I embraced this, everything changed. Now I use my 4R Method to create balance—and it’s PURE FREEDOM. 🧘🏽‍♀️✨
Ready to stop feeling let down and start feeling secure from within? Tune in! 🎙
 
Grab your 📔 10 Journal Prompts That Transformed My Abandonment Fear (I swear by them)
 
Love, Jula xx 
🤍 COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
 
 
MORE FREE RESOURCES:
Challenge Your Thoughts CHEAT SHEET: To stop running on Auto-Pilot
Learn to REASSURE Yourself + STOP Chasing External Reassurance

07:🎄🧘🏻‍♀️The ANXIOUS Relationship Guide You Need to THRIVE, Not Just Survive the Holidays

Your Holiday RELATIONSHIP Anxiety Survival Kit (with a twist 🎄✨..hohoho)
Grab your free Boundary Toolkit HERE (for anxious and hypersensitive girlies and guys)
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆The holidays are supposed to feel magical, right?⋆✴︎˚｡⋆
But if you’re ANXIOUSLY attached like I was, they can be a minefield of spiraling emotions and unmet expectations.
In Episode 07 of The Anxious Relationship Guide, I’m giving you the tools to THRIVE—not just survive—this holiday season. 🌟
What we chat about:
★ Why your HIGH holiday expectations might sabotage your relationship (and what to do instead).★ Boundaries 101: How to actually set them and why they’re key for anxious attachers.★ A fun BINGO game (yes, BINGO!) that’ll completely flip how you handle triggers at holiday gatherings.
Plus:I’ll share my own holiday struggles and how I turned them into lessons that keep my relationship anxiety in check—even during family drama!
No matter when you listen—Christmas, Easter, or just a random Tuesday—this episode is packed with practical steps to help you feel CALMER and MORE SECURE during family-events and holidays. 🧘‍♀️✨ Enjoy, xx Jula
 
Don't Miss the Chance to go deeper here.
 
🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
 
🤍 COACHING:
1:1 VIP SOS Session
 
🤍 FREE WORKSHEETS + DOWNLOADS:
😱📱 Grab Your Free Guide: 5 Steps to Handle It When Your Partner Doesn’t Text Back.
Find Your TOP 2 UNMET NEEDS: To stop sabotaging Yourself
Challenge Your Thoughts CHEAT SHEET: To stop running on Auto-Pilot
Learn to REASSURE Yourself + STOP Chasing External Reassurance
Find YOUR ANXIOUS Archetype: To not SURVIVE but THRIVE in your Relationships
 
🤍 COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
 
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach

06:🎙️MYTH: "If My Partner REASSURE Me More, I’d Be Fine." 🚨 Why That’s Keeping You STUCK 💪🏽🧘🏽‍♀️

🎙️ MYTH: "If My Partner Reassured Me More, I’d Be Fine"
 
I want to bust another myth because it's MYTH BUSTER Tuesday…
Ready to tackle another relationship myth that’s keeping you stuck, creating more anxiety and not helping you to become the best version you can be? 💪🏽✨
 
In Episode 06 of Anxious to Secure, we’re diving into a BIG one:
🚨 MYTH: "If my partner just reassured me more, I’d feel okay."
Ever thought, "If they texted back faster… said the right thing… or just paid more attention, I’d feel less anxious"?
 
Here’s the truth:
No amount of reassurance will ever feel like enough—unless you feel secure from WITHIN.
I’ve been there, too. I used to believe that my partner could "fix" my anxiety. But what I learned (the hard way) is that security doesn’t come from texts or compliments—it’s an inside job.
 
✨ In this episode, I’ll show you:
Why chasing reassurance keeps you stuck in anxiety.
How to flip the script and start creating security from the inside out.
The exact steps I took to stop feeling so dependent on my partner’s validation.
Love, Yours Jula
 
🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
 
🤍 COACHING:
1:1 VIP SOS Session
 
🤍 FREE WORKSHEETS + DOWNLOADS:
Find Your TOP 2 UNMET NEEDS: To stop sabotaging Yourself
Learn to REASSURE Yourself + STOP Chasing External Reassurance
Find YOUR ANXIOUS Archetype: To not SURVIVE but THRIVE in your Relationships
 
🤍 COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
 
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 

05-🫶🏻 When Your Partner INVALIDATES Your Feelings- My 4R Method to HEAL NOW 🥹

🫶 When Your Partner INVALIDATES Your Feelings…
Ever had that moment when you open up about something important, and your partner just… doesn’t get it? 😤
Like, "HELLOOO, I’m trying to share my feelings here!" :D
I’ve been there.
Feel like Avoidant Attached partners REALLY suck invalidating their anxious attached partners, the ONES who need it the most, right?
They can make you feel dismissed, unseen, and even trigger a spiral that leaves you feeling out of control.
But…what can we do? is this a toxic red flag? Do we need to accept it?..
In today’s episode of Anxious to Secure, we'll tak about:✨ What triggers really are and why they feel so intense.✨ How invalidation taps into your deepest fears.✨ My 4R Method to help you regain calm and take back control when you feel like you’re spiralling.
Love to share my story when my partner loves to invalidate MY feelings 🫠
You’ve got this! 🫶
Love, Yours Jula,Your Relationship Coach for Anxious Attachment
P.S. What triggers YOU the most in your relationship? Reply in IG 
 
🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
 
🤍 COACHING:
1:1 VIP SOS Session
 
🤍 FREE WORKSHEETS + DOWNLOADS:
😱📱 Grab Your Free Guide: 5 Steps to Handle It When Your Partner Doesn’t Text Back.
Find Your TOP 2 UNMET NEEDS: To stop sabotaging Yourself
Challenge Your Thoughts CHEAT SHEET: To stop running on Auto-Pilot
Learn to REASSURE Yourself + STOP Chasing External Reassurance
Find YOUR ANXIOUS Archetype: To not SURVIVE but THRIVE in your Relationships
 
🤍 COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
 
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @the.marriage.coach

04-🎙️My Partner "SHOULD" Be My Emotional ROCK or Therapist (Relationship MYTH)

🖤 Secure Self-Study Vault 🫶🏻🖤
 
🔮 ❌ Let’s bust another myth wide open in today’s episode of The Anxious to Secure Podcast! 🎧
We’re tackling the belief that your partner should be your emotional rock or therapist… and spoiler alert:
NOPE! They shouldn't be.
 
In reality, your partner is NOT your therapist (or your rock🪨.. or that might be the thing that drags you down.). 👫🚫
 
It’s so easy to think that they SHOULD make you feel secure, loved, and validated all the time… but the truth is, that’s not their job.
Hands up🙋🏼‍♀️, you EBER thoughts this..because social media, fairy tails and society TOLD us this is how love, relationships should be?
 
In this episode, we’re diving into:
★ Why expecting your partner to be your emotional rock is a myth.
★ How it creates unnecessary pressure on your relationship.
★ What it really looks like to build a secure and healthy relationship.
 
So grab your coffee ☕ (I’m on two Venti cups today, haha!) and listen to the episode while you unwind.
 
▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။|||| |
Listen to Episode 04. Love, Jula xx
P.S. All my content is for people in healthy/loving relationships, not a replacement for therapy.
 
 
 
🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
 
🤍 COACHING:
1:1 VIP SOS Session
 
🤍 FREE WORKSHEETS + DOWNLOADS:
WORRY-FREE Flow Chart: Free Download
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're
😱📱 Grab Your Free Guide: 5 Steps to Handle It When Your Partner Doesn’t Text Back.
 
🤍 COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
 
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach

03- HELP! My Partner Is Pulling AWAY... Here’s EXACTLY What I did...to Re-CONNECT 🤍✨️

🖤 Secure Self-Study Vault 🫶🏻🖤
💎 NEW💎:  Free mini-course: 5x5 lessons STOP Overthinking Your Relationships 🫶🏻🥹❤️‍🩹
 
When Your Partner Pulls Away 🖤✨ (fear of rejection and abandonment)
..no matter if its a kiss
...if you ask for a compliment
...you ask for recognition from the household
..or he just emotionally shuts down.
if this feels triggering: This episode is for YOU.
 
This one’s for all the anxious ladies (and guys!) who feel the pull when your partner pulls away. 🛑💔
This one of MY personal triggers in my relationship..and not im pretty unbothered when i lean in for a kiss and my lovely partners doesn’t feel like it.
I'm NOT taking it personal anymore. Imagine how this can feel for you.
 
In this new episode of The Anxious to Secure Podcast, we’re diving into what to do when your partner withdraws, especially in anxious-avoidant relationship cycles 🫶✨
 
💡 Pulling away can happen to anyone..no matter how long you've been married or just freshly dating.
 
🎧 Here’s what we cover:★ How to stop overthinking their pull-back★ Why it feels like rejection (but it’s not..pinky promise)★ How to find calm when it feels uncertain
…READY?
listen now…  Love, Jula Your Relationship Coach For Anxious Attached Souls
 
 
🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
 
🤍 COACHING:
 1:1 VIP SOS Session
 
🤍 FREE WORKSHEETS + DOWNLOADS:
WORRY-FREE Flow Chart: Free Download
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're
😱📱 Grab Your Free Guide: 5 Steps to Handle It When Your Partner Doesn’t Text Back.
🤍 COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING 🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach

02-🎙🤍MYTH: Your ANXIETY has more to do with YOU than your partner; STOP blaming + Hyper focusing on them🕵‍♀️👀😨

ᯓ★ Welcome to the Relationship Myth BUSTER Edition: ᯓ★
 
🖤 Secure Self-Study Vault 🫶🏻🖤
💎 NEW💎:  Free mini-course: 5x5 lessons STOP Overthinking Your Relationships 🫶🏻🥹❤️‍🩹
 
🔮 Today, we’re busting the myth:
"You BLAME your partner for your ANXIETY when it’s actually your attachment style."
(hint hint...Your anxiety has A LOT more to do with you than your partner or circumstances )
If you find yourself:
🎙 "My partner makes me feel anxious"🎙 "He/She should reassure me more often"🎙 "They make me feel insecure"
Hit play🎧 to discover how your attachment style and past experiences are driving your anxiety—and what you can do about it.
 
WORRY-FREE Flow Chart: Free Download
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
🚩🚩🚩10 Signs YOU are the Red Flag in your Relationship
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
📱💬 STOP OBSESSING Over TEXT'S in 21 days or less
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
 
Love, Jula 
Your Relationship Coach for Anxious Ambitious Overthinkers
 
P.S. ALL my content is only made for people in "healthy/ loving" (= non-abusive) relationships. This is no replacement for therapy and is for entertainment purposes only.

01- 6 Signs You're ANXIOUS Attached (including FREE exercise)

🖤 Secure Self-Study Vault 🫶🏻🖤
Have you ever felt like…
🤍…you’re stuck in a push-and-pull with your partner? 💭
🤍…you’re overthinking their every word, wondering if they’ll leave
🤍…or feeling uneasy when they need space?
If this sounds like you, you might be anxiously attached.
But guessing is not KNOWING.
Having certainty around your attachment style is EVERYTHING. 
 
And trust me, I’ve been there.
🎧 This week on THE Anxious to Secure Podcast, we’re uncovering:★ The 6 key signs of anxious attachment and have an abandonment wound★Why these areas keep you stuck and feeling overwhelmed.
★What you can do to start feeling SECURE—starting today!
 
✨ PLUS, I’ve included a FREE exercise (yaaas) to help you identify exactly where you’re stuck and map out your next step toward healing.
FREE PDF: Anxious Attachment Inventory Exercise
✅️ REPLY "GOALS" Anxious Attachment Inventory Exercise
or
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach
(✅️ Comment “GOALS” under any posts/reels to receive the inventory exercise)
Anxious Attachment Inventory Exercise
3min Attachment Style QUIZ
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
STOP OVERTHINKING Your Relationship Course - in 4 Steps
Get Coached
💎 NEW💎:  Free mini-course: 5x5 lessons STOP Overthinking Your Relationships 🫶🏻🥹❤️‍🩹
 
Love Jula,
Your Relationship Coach for Anxious Attached Overachievers who are READY to enter their secure era 

00-The Anxious to Secure Podcast: ✨ Transforming My Anxious Attachment in 6 months ✨

🎙✨ WELCOME TO THE ANXIOUS TO SECURE PODCAST ✨🎙
🖤 Secure Self-Study Vault 🫶🏻🖤
 
Hey there, I’m Jula! ✦ If you’ve ever found yourself overthinking everything your partner does (watch this free mini training) 🥺, replaying conversations, or feeling triggered when they withdraw more and more in your relationships—this podcast is for YOU. 🖤
In this very first episode, I’m sharing MY STORY. How I went from being totally consumed by anxiety, worries, and doubts in relationships to feeling SECURE, confident, and at peace within myself—AND that in only 6 months (after being insecure for 30+ years).
➞ How anxious attachment affects your relationship dynamics 🧠➞ Why this can be the solution to stop triggering each other ✨➞ The personal growth and emotional mastery that changed my life 🌻
➞ And WHY Anxious Attachment is NOT so bad as you might think… (you heard right.)
Healing is a journey—not a quick fix. I’ll share tools and tips to help you reframe your thoughts, create secure connections, and take that first step toward the relationship you deserve. 🖤
Let’s get started on this transformative journey TOGETHER. Are you ready to become secure, episode by episode? Then squeeze me into your ear 🎧
Find Out Your Attachment Style: 3 min QUIZ
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become 95% faster secure
STOP Overthinking Your Relationships: in 4 Steps With Your Avoidant Partner
☁️ The Worry-Free ☁️ Flow-Chart for Relationship Anxiety
 
Book a VIP Coaching Call
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach