The Anxious To Secure PODCAST

84: Gilmore Girls Attachment Styles EXPLAINED *Part 02 (Rory, Dean, Jess, Tristan, Logan)

Stop letting THEIR slow replies ruin YOUR day. Take back your calm in 21 Days or less because your anxiety is about YOU, not them.
ON SALE: the📱💬 TEXT ANXIETY Mini Course
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
Gilmore Girls Attachment Style Breakdown  (Part 2): Rory & Her Relationships 
 
Welcome back to part two of the Gilmore Girls Attachment Style Breakdown! Today we’re diving deep into Rory’s world—her relationships, dating patterns, and why she’s attracted to certain types of people like Dean, Jess, Logan, and even Tristan.
 
If you haven’t watched part one yet,
I recommend starting there to understand the foundation of the characters’ attachment styles, including Lorelai, Luke, Christopher, Emily, and Richard
 
In this episode, we explore:✨ Rory’s anxious attachment style with disorganized edges✨ How her upbringing shaped her relationship patterns✨ Why she chases unavailable partners and idolizes her boyfriends✨ The push-and-pull dynamic with Dean, Jess, Logan, and Tristan✨ How her self-worth ties to achievement, school, and love✨ The patterns that make her relationships challenging✨ My #1 tip for Rory (and anyone with anxious tendencies) to finally feel secure in love
 
We also break down:💛 Dean – anxious attachment, craving closeness but over-investing emotionally💚 Jess – disorganized tendencies, rebellious and protective, struggles with vulnerability💙 Tristan – classic avoidant, keeps emotional distance, immature and testing Rory💜 Logan – avoidant with some disorganized traits, charming but emotionally inconsistent
 
If you’re anxious in love like Rory,
the real shift happens when you build security within yourself first.
 
When you stop chasing emotional red flags, you attract reliable, loving partners and create healthier dynamics in all areas of your life.
 
 
🎯 Free Resources & Quiz: 
: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
💌 Ways to work with me 1:1 + Offers:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
 
Free Stop overthinking Mini-Mini Course:
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/miniseriestostopoverthinking
 
 
📌 Don’t forget to comment below:Who’s your favorite Rory boyfriend? And do you relate to Rory’s anxious tendencies in love?
 
Thanks for watching and doing the work with me! Happy autumn and remember, change in your relationships starts with you—thought by thought, action by action.
 
 
 
Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Intro to Gilmore Girls Attachments Styles01:28 Rory's Attachment Style11:46 Dean's Attachment Style20:30 Jess Mariano's Attachment Style25:24 Tristan's Attachment Style30:56 Logan Huntzberger's Attachment Style36:49 My BIGGEST relationship Advice for RORY
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

83: Gilmore Girls Attachment Styles REVEALED Part 01 (Lorelai, Luke, Emily, Richard..)

✨ Are you rewatching Gilmore Girls (again 😅) and secretly analyzing every relationship? In this episode of the Anxious to Secure Podcast, I (Jula, relationship coach) break down the attachment styles of Lorelai, Luke, Christopher, and Emily through the lens of attachment theory.
You’ll hear:★ Why Lorelai shows so many signs of disorganized attachment (fearful avoidant).★ Why Luke might not be fully avoidant after all… and how he leans more secure than you think.★ How Christopher’s push–pull patterns mirror a fearful avoidant style.★ And Emily’s anxious tendencies (with disorganized edges and even some narcissistic flavors).
If you’ve ever struggled with relationship anxiety, abandonment fears, or wondered why do I pull close, then push away?… you’ll see yourself in these characters. 
Grab a coffee, get cozy, and let’s watch Gilmore Girls with completely new eyes. 
 
Don’t forget to subscribe if you love relationship deep dives, attachment theory explained simply, and cozy podcast chats.
 
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
 
Grab more FREE resources:
ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
Like….
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety
✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
 
Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
 
➞ SHOP:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Exploring Attachment Styles in Gilmore Girls00:59 What is Attachment theory (in short)03:00 Lorelai's Attachment Style09:17 Luke's Attachment Style16:01 Christopher's Attachment Style (Rory's father)22:25 Emily's Gilmore's Attachment Style28:52 IS Lorelai a NARCISSIST?32:37 Richard's Attachment Style36:32 Who do you want to see NEXT?

82: "Unknown Number" Netflix Doc EXPLAINED When a Parent Becomes a Predator - Narcissism, Abuse & Trauma

my personal deep dive into Netflix’s Unknown Number:
The High School Catfish. 🖤 I’ve been following the comments, the social media conversations, and the shock around Kendra Licari’s story — and I want to take this beyond what the documentary shows.
Netflix gave us the facts. But what about the IMPACT?
The emotional abuse. The grooming. The way a disorganized attachment style can trap someone in fear, shame, and confusion.
That’s the part that hit me hardest .. and that’s where my work as a relationship coach comes in. In this episode, I talk about the red flags most people miss, how parental manipulation destroys self-trust, and why trauma bonding makes it so hard to leave abusive dynamics.
I also share what actually helps: nervous system regulation, boundaries that protect your safety, and rebuilding secure attachment step by step. If you’ve seen the Unknown Number Netflix trailer, read The Cut article on Kendra Licari, or scrolled through the heated debates online — this episode is for you.
Because it’s not just about a documentary. It’s about real people, real trauma, and the reminder that healing and safety ARE possible.
Takeaways: What Netflix didn’t show about the Unknown Number documentary. The deeper emotional impact of grooming and manipulation. How disorganized attachment keeps people stuck in toxic cycles.
Why trauma bonding makes breaking away so complicated.
The role of parental control, secrecy, and narcissistic behaviors.
The importance of spotting red flags early. How daily regulation practices + professional support accelerate healing.
Why boundaries are the foundation of safety and recovery.
Why love doesn’t have to feel like chaos.
WORK WITH ME, COURSES + FREE RESOURCES: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached:
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
3 MIN QUIZ DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

81: "It only takes 8 seconds" 📱 WHY isn't He replying? (THIS will soothe your relationship anxiety)

Grab the📱 ↘"He doesn't reply" Flow Chart (free):
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/flow
 
It only takes eight seconds… or does it? ⏰ 
 
Remember scrolling Instagram, seeing that reel, and thinking,
“Why isn’t he replying? It’s just eight seconds!”
 
That’s exactly how anxious attachment tricks us making us chase validation, obsess over texts, and feel like every delayed reply is rejection.
In this episode, I unpack why this “eight-second trap” fuels anxiety, overthinking, and the addictive chase cycle. I share why your emotional safety doesn’t depend on anyone else, how to stop texting obsessively, and the step-by-step tools I use (and teach clients) to calm your brain and feel secure on your own.
 
We talk real examples: heart racing when they’re “typing,” overanalyzing likes, messages, and stories, and feeling too much in love or friendship.
I also share practical actions—from journaling out your thoughts, setting boundaries for yourself, spotting patterns without personalizing, and walking away from crumbs—to reclaim your peace and confidence.
If you’ve ever felt anxious waiting for a text, overanalyzed replies, or let someone else control your emotions, this episode is your guide to healing your anxious attachment, trusting yourself, and stopping the chase.
 
ON SALE (27 euros only)
Stop obsessing over Text in 21 days or less - Course:
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 The Eight Second Dilemma03:12 Why its makes sense to want them to reply quickly (but it's wrong)05:45 The Viral "if he wanted to he would" video08:03 5 Reasons Why This Is Toxic for Anxious Attachment12:54 How action plan to feel more secure when they don't reply
 
Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
 
➞ SHOP + FREE RESOURCES
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
 
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
 
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
 
🕊️📱 ↘"He doesn't reply" Flow Chart (free):
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/flow
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

80: 5 things I would NEVER do as a SECURE Partner (lessons for healing anxious attachment)

Remember those red flats from my 20s (that probably STILL get overthought if not addressed…)?
The ones I wore on a first date, nervously texting back and overthinking every move?
That was me before I started healing my anxious attachment. In this episode, I share 5 things I would NEVER do again as my securely attached self and the lessons that came from years of dating, heartbreak, and self-discovery.
 
I dive into letting go of people-pleasing, chasing connection, and believing every anxious thought meant danger, and what I do now instead to show up confidently in love, friendships, and even with family. 
If you’ve struggled with anxious attachment, overthinking texts, or feeling “too much” in relationships, this episode is your guide to showing up securely, honoring your needs, and trusting yourself in love.
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Intro01:46 5 Things I’d NEVER Do as a Secure Partner + Healed Anxiously Attached Woman02:50 01. I don’t say the same boundary 5 times with no consequence06:45 02. I don’t “go along” with things that feel bad just to avoid tension08:54 03. I don’t chase connection when it’s not being met halfway11:51 04. I don’t stay silent just to be “easy”13:41 05. I don’t make everything mean something about me16:32 Why you Don't need MORE reassurance19:50 06. BONUS: I stopped BELIEVING every anxious thought meant “I’m in danger”
 
 
Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
 
➞ SHOP + FREE RESOURCES
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
 
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
 
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

79: VISUALISATION: From Anxious to Secure Attachment in Your Sleep (rewire your brain to overcome anxiety)

LISTEN BEFORE BED to Rewire your Mind in your sleep :) Struggling with relationship anxiety or anxious attachment? This gentle guided visualization helps you feel SECURE, grounded, and calm in your relationships. I’m Jula, your anxious-to-secure attachment coach, and I’ll guide you to slowly release old patterns and step into the confident, playful version of YOU.
Listen when your mind is most open, before sleep, first thing in the morning, or after meditation or breathwork..when your brain is in a theta state and hyper-suggestible. 🌻💛 By rehearsing calm, secure moments in your mind’s eye, you can literally rewire your thoughts and body to feel safe, worthy, and steady.
Imagine waking lighter, noticing small joys, and feeling your worth untouchable..without needing anyone else’s approval. This practice helps you pause, release tension, and trust yourself, even when others are distant or plans change. 🪞✨ Drift into calm, connect with your inner strength, and attract relationships that match your authentic, secure energy.
Safe space only. Not a replacement for therapy. Your journey from anxious to secure starts here..thought by thought, image by image.
 
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Introduction to Future VISUALISATION for Relationship Anxiety01:14 Disclaimer01:37 Listen before SLEEP: From Anxious to Secure Attachment in Your Sleep
 
 
Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
 
➞ SHOP:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money)
➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
 
Grab more FREE resources:
ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
Like….
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety
✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
 
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

78: PRACTICE: The 3 Shift Anxious to Secure Attachment- Embodiment Practice

Feeling anxious, overthinking, or unsure in your relationships?
Thinking won’t help: action is the solution.
This guided visualization and embodiment practice is designed to help you retrain your mind and body to create security from within. I’m Jula, your anxious-to-secure attachment coach, and I’ll guide you step by step to reconnect with the calm, confident, and grounded version of YOU that’s always been there beneath the anxiety, doubt, and fear.
This practice is all about identity shifts. Over time, we can lose touch with the steady, secure self we were born with. Childhood patterns, fears of rejection, and old survival strategies can make us overgive, overthink, or feel insecure. Through this session, you’ll gently explore new ways of showing up—moving from anxious to calm, from overthinking to present, from insecure to confident, from overgiving to setting boundaries, from loneliness to connection, and from doubt to worthiness. Each shift is anchored in your body, mind, and imagination so it becomes a natural part of you. 🌻✨
Here’s why it’s so powerful: your brain learns best through imagery, rehearsal, and embodiment. By seeing yourself handle triggers differently, linking new movements to each shift, and feeling the emotions in your body, you train both mind and body to respond securely in real-life situations. This is how I personally rewired my anxious attachment, stepping into a secure, confident self that I already had inside me, beneath all the old patterns. 🧠💛
 
The session follows a simple, transformative three-step process:
Step 1: Choose your shifts. Focus on no more than three identity shifts at a time- like moving from anxious to calm, overthinking to present, or insecure to confident. These are the core areas you want to embody more in your life.
Step 2: Anchor each shift with a movement or gesture. Simple body practices like lifting your chest, grounding your feet, placing a hand on your heart, or striking a power pose help your mind and body remember the new way of being. Linking a shift to a role model or metaphor..like a calm lake, a strong mountain, or a shining star..amplifies the effect.
Step 3: Visualize and rehearse daily. Imagine handling old triggers in your day-to-day life as this new version of yourself. Each time you practice, even 1%, you become more aligned with your secure self. Over time, these shifts become second nature, and your anxious patterns naturally soften.
 
This practice works best when your mind is open and suggestible - before sleep, first thing in the morning, or after meditation or breathwork, when your brain is in a theta state. By visualizing, embodying, and rehearsing calm, confident, and grounded responses, you can literally rewire your brain and nervous system, creating security from the inside out. 🌤🖤
 
Throughout the session, you’ll also journal and reflect on the parts of yourself you want to release, and notice how each shift feels in your body. Over time, these small, consistent practices build real confidence, self-trust, and inner calm. You’ll stop reacting from fear and start living from love, naturally attracting healthier, steady, and mutual relationships.
💭 Remember: this is a safe, guided practice. Not a replacement for therapy. Make sure you’re in a comfortable space, sitting or lying down, and give yourself permission to pause, explore, and embody these shifts fully. Step into the secure, grounded, confident version of yourself, little by little, day by day.
 
You’ve already had this secure self inside you all along. This practice helps you remember, embody, and strengthen it, even in moments that used to trigger anxiety or self-doubt. Take a deep breath, feel your energy settle, and step into the calm, playful, confident YOU.
 
 
You can download this practice to get back to it anytime xx Jula
 
Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or Unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure and get support through anxious moments in your relationship or dating life)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
 
 
➞ SHOP: 🛒🛍️✨
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
 
COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻 (for little money but BIG transformations)
➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
 
Grab more 30+ FREE resources:
ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
Like….
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety
✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
 
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 

77: (5 hidden) LIES driving your relationship anxiety (Part 02) Cognitive Distortions

Ever catch yourself thinking…“Did I do something wrong?”“They’re pulling away... what if they’re losing interest?”“This relationship feels OFF, but I don’t know why.”
 
You’re not “too much.” You’re not dramatic.You might just be stuck in cognitive distortions...sneaky thought patterns that fuel anxious attachment and make you feel unsafe in love 
 
In this episode, I’ll walk you through the 5 most common cognitive distortions that mess with your brain and your heart when you’re dating or in a relationship.. especially if you feel hyper-aware, sensitive, or constantly looking for signs something’s wrong.
 
We’ll explore:Personalization... Why you blame yourself when they get distantNegative Filtering... Why your brain zooms in on the “bad parts” and ignores what’s going wellControl Fallacy.. That exhausting feeling of needing to fix everythingAll-or-Nothing Thinking.. The belief that one mistake means the whole thing’s doomedFortune Telling.. Why you assume the worst is coming, before it even happens
 
These mental habits can make you feel like you’re always on edge… reading between the lines… overthinking texts… bracing for the moment they leave 
 
But once you see these patterns...you can start challenging them And when you shift your thoughts, your nervous system starts to settle 
 
This is how you rewire anxious attachment from the inside out.
 
Which one of these distortions hits hardest for you?
 
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Understanding Cognitive Distortions in Your Relationship01:16 01 Personalization02:03 02 Negative Filtering02:52 03 Control Fallacy03:58 P.S. Have you tried therapy but still feeling anxious?05:16 Coaching vs Therapy09:23 04 All-or-Nothing Thinking10:26 05 Fortune Telling
 
 
Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
 
➞ SHOP:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money)
➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
 
Grab more FREE resources:
ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
Like….
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety
✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
 
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

76: *5 Stages* How to Heal & Rewire After a BREAKUP (when you have an Anxious Attachment)

This episode is for you if you’re in the breakup loops and trying to heal and move through it.You said you were DONE. You swore you wouldn’t reach out again.
But now you're spiraling. Checking their last seen. Reading old messages.Feeling that sick ache in your chest like you need them back just to feel okay.
 
When you have anxious attachment, a breakup doesn’t feel like “losing a relationship.”It feels like rejection, abandonment, like you're being erased.And your brain goes straight into panic mode.
 
In this episode, I’ll walk you through the 5 stages of healing after a breakup for the anxious type and WHY each one feels so overwhelming.
 
We’ll start with the protest phase.. where you might beg, bargain, chase, or act like “you’re fine” when you’re actually falling apart.
Then comes obsession + craving: where your nervous system feels addicted, and you can’t stop analyzing or fantasizing.
Next is the shame spiral: that voice in your head saying “It’s because I wasn’t enough.”Then the grief + loneliness: that deep pain when the distractions wear off and the reality hits.
And finally: the rewiring phase where you stop chasing a person and start repairing your inner safety.
I’ll also show you where you might be getting stuck  like looping in the fantasy, hoping they’ll come back and finally give you what they never did.Or mistaking anxiety for intuition.Or trying to “heal” while secretly waiting for a text.
This isn’t about pretending you're over it.This is about understanding what’s happening in your body, in your attachment system, so you can stop abandoning yourself to stop the pain.
 
You don’t need to be perfect to heal.You just need the right map Let’s walk through it together... step by step.
 
 Listen now & start breaking the cycle to rewire and heal from a breakup.
Or watch on youtube and leave me comments, I love to be there for you xx
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Understanding Breakup Healing and Anxious Attachment02:45 Stage 1: Shock & Panic Mode = Denial04:47 Stage 2 : Anger & Shame = the ANGER STAGE08:27 Stage 3: Bargaining, Craving & Obsession = Bargaining13:51 Stage 4: Loneliness & Identity Collapse = Depression16:02 Relationship Coaching if you like support16:40 Stage 5: Integration & Secure Rewiring = Acceptance20:52 Final Reminders that heal it ALL
 
Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
 
➞ SHOP:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money)
➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
 
Grab more FREE resources:
ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
Like….
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety
✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
 
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

75: *6 LIES* your brain tells you when you’re Anxiously Attached (and how THIS sabotages your Relationships without you realizing)

Ever spiral after a text delay?Feel rejected by a vibe shift?Think “this ALWAYS happens” - even if it’s just once?
That’s not you being “crazy” or “too much.”It’s your brain running on ✨anxious survival mode✨  whispering LIES it thinks will protect you 😳
In this episode, we’re calling out the 6 BIGGEST cognitive distortions your anxious brain tells you when it feels unsafe - and giving them a loving reality check 
 
You’ll learn:
🧠 Why “I feel it, so it must be true” is NOT the whole truth🪫 The sneaky spiral of catastrophizing (aka “it’s over” after a 3-hour text delay)🧨 How “mind reading” + “shoulds” quietly sabotage your connection🪞 Why your brain blames YOU (or them)  and what to do instead💬 Powerful coaching questions to interrupt spirals in the moment📝 A 7-day challenge to start REWIRING your inner stories + get real results
 
Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
 
➞ SHOP:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money)
➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
 
Grab more FREE resources:
ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
Like….
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety
✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
 
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 6 LIES Your Brain Tells You When You’re Anxiously Attached01:44 01 Emotional Reasoning03:43 O2 Overgeneralization06:28 03 Should Statements08:34 04 Labeling and Blaming10:11 05 Mind Reading12:49 06 Catastrophizing15:05 Challenging Cognitive Distortions to feel less anxious15:53 Cognitive Distortion Exercise for 7 days
 
 
This episode will help you stop believing everything your anxious mind saysSo you can:➞ Create more emotional safety➞ Stop the spiral before it ruins your connection➞ Trust yourself again
 
PS: Awareness is powerful…But action = real transformation
 
▶️ Listen in now to spot your anxious brain’s biggest tricks — and rewrite themYour future secure self is already PROUD of you
Ready to stop spiraling, chasing, and questioning your worth in love?
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.