The Anxious To Secure PODCAST

54: Listen BEFORE you BREAK UP with Your Avoidant Partner - 5 Reasons You Can’t Find a Secure Partner

🖤   3min FREE Attachment Style QUIZ:
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
"Why can't I find a secure partner?"
Let me share with you 5 reasons why...
 
Ever wondered why the “safe” ones feel boring... or why you keep falling for hot/cold dynamics that leave you spiralling?
You're not broken. You're just wired to seek love that feels familiar - not safe.
Hi, I'm Jula — The Anxious to Secure Coach 🖤
 
I used to think if I just broke up with my avoidant partner... everything would magically fall into place. I’d meet someone secure, calm, available — and finally feel at peace.
But when I stumbled into attachment theory and realized I was anxiously attached, I had a BIG wake-up call.
It wasn’t just about him.It was about what my nervous system was calling “love.”
So in this episode, I’m breaking down the REAL reason why you can’t just “pick” a secure person and suddenly become secure yourself.
 
CURIOUS? LISTEN IN IF:➞ You’ve been in therapy and still date emotionally unavailable people➞ You say you want healthy love, but feel bored when you get it➞ You’re stuck in an anxious-avoidant loop and feel like you're the problem➞ Or you’re THIS close to leaving your avoidant partner… and wondering if the grass is greener
THIS EPISODE = A WAKE-UP CALL + A PLAN 🖤
 
We’re diving into the 5 subconscious reasons your body says “YES” to the wrong type of love — and then in Part 2, I’ll walk you through the exact steps to rewire your system so secure love starts to feel safe AND sexy again ✨
 
 
🎧 CHAPTERS:
00:00 LISTEN BEFORE you BREAK UP with Your Avoidant02:05 5 Reasons You Can’t Find a Secure Partner02:36 1. You don’t “choose” your partner... your subconscious & nervous system does03:57 2. You're still ANXIOUSLY attached - so your body doesn't even recognize SECURE as love yet05:27 3. Anxious + Avoidant is one of the most COMMON but most confusing dynamics08:12 4. You haven’t updated your COMFORT ZONE - so your “type” is actually your trauma10:17 5. Even if you find a secure partner… it won’t “fix” the anxious part of you11:32 What can happen to the Secure Partner SHOULD you be in a relationship with them... (NOT what you think)12:50 PART 0213:01 TEXT + TALK: Coaching in your Pocket15:32 Heal your Anxious Attachment: 4 | 8 Month Coaching Program16:34 The 90min Breakthrough Call17:26 YOUR ACTION PLAN: How to Create a NEW Comfort Zone That Feels Safe17:51 1. ✣ RELEASE YOUR EMOTIONS21:31 2. ✣ REWIRE YOUR BELIEFS26:30 3. ✣ RECONNECT WITH YOUR NEEDS32:32 4. ✣ PRACTICE CALM IN SMALL DOSES35:16 Remember...
 
 
🖤  Attachment LIBRARY:
FREE Attachment LIBRARY
(worksheets, prompts, quizzes and more) 
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
🖤  1:1 Support + Courses:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
♥️  YOUTUBE:
 (4 ways How to DETACH emotionally)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLi57Sgd3nE&t=1567s
 

53: (10 Hidden) Signs of Anxious Attachment at WORK 👩🏻‍💻(and How to Be More Secure at Work)

Ever feel like you're walking on eggshells at work — even when no one’s mad at you? 😰Constantly reading between the lines of Slack messages?Replaying convos in your head for hours?Avoiding conflict, hiding your voice, and lowkey doubting yourself even though you're SMART as hell?
🖤 You might be experiencing anxious attachment at work.
In this juicy episode, we're diving deep into something not enough people are talking about 👀:
 
How anxious attachment shows up outside of romantic relationshipsThe emotional toll of anxious attachment in the workplaceWhy high-achieving women (and men) secretly feel unsafe at work... and how to change that
 
If you’ve ever wondered:
💭 “Why does one bit of feedback make me spiral?”💭 “Why do I hide my ideas in meetings?”💭 “Why do I keep shrinking to make everyone else comfortable?”
…this episode is your permission slip to get curious — instead of critical.
 
I’ll share real signs, deep reflections, and my own stories of how I used to overwork, overthink, and overperform from an anxious place...
👩🏼‍💻 Even though I looked “put together” on the outside.
 
You’ll walk away with tools to:✦ Start seeing feedback as feedback — not rejection✦ Speak up without over-rehearsing every sentence✦ Handle awkward convos and kitchen small talk with more ease✦ Stop people-pleasing your coworkers to feel "safe"✦ Get out of your head and back into your POWER at work 🖤
If you’ve got the ambition and the heart — but still feel like you’re constantly proving yourself?
 
✨ This is the episode is for you:
 
10 Hidden Signs of Anxious Attachment at Work 👩🏻‍💻 (and How to Be More Secure Without Overthinking Every Little Thing)
 
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Intro: The IMPACT of your anxious attachment at work02:25 Life BEFORE I healed my anxious attachment04:50 10 Hidden Signs of Anxious Attachment at Work05:20 01. Overanalysing faces07:37 02. Avoiding the kitchen10:40 03. Hating after-work events13:32 04. Overthinking feedback16:31 GO DEEPER: Stop Overthinking Today18:11 05. Avoiding conflict19:52 06. Hiding ideas21:14 07. Pleasing the boss23:04 08. Gossip for closeness25:40 09. Staying small28:05 10. Hiding from visibility30:52 Final pep talk
 
 
⭑ Attachment Library:
25+ resources 
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
⭑ 3-Min Attachment Style Quiz 
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
☁️ The Worry-Free ☁️ Flow-Chart for Relationship Anxiety
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/worryfree
 
GO DEEPER:
🖤 TEXT ANXIETY – How to STOP Obsessing Over Their Text in 21 Days or Less 🖤
If your peace DISAPPEARS the second they don’t reply, or you read too much into their "thumbs up" reply—your partner's communication is NOT the problem. Your anxious brain is.
You DON’T need another text. You need this: Tools to break your obsession with them.
➤➤➤ https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
🖤 STOP OVERTHINKING Your Relationship with Your AVOIDANT Partner (4 Steps)
🖤 *on beta = sale * (= additional free get 1:1 email support)
If you're constantly worried about the future INSTEAD of enjoying today, then what's the point of the relationship? You’re not building love; your anxious brain is obsessed with chasing fear.
➤➤➤ Ready to live in the present?
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
 
Remember:
Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 

52: Avoidants DON'T Need Space... Here's What They ACTUALLY Need (This Changes Your Relationship)

You’ve been told:“Just give them space”...
But that’s NOT the whole story ✶And if you’re anxiously attached...You’ve probably felt like giving space only makes it worse 😮‍💨
Hi, I’m Jula — anxious attachment coach + podcast host 🖤I’ve been where you are... spiraling after “I need time” textsAnd what I’ve learned? It’s not about giving more space...It’s about giving something else entirely 🧠
 
 In this episode, I’ll show you:...Why “space” isn’t enough...What avoidants are actually craving (but don’t say out loud)...And how to stop chasing — without abandoning yourself
If you’ve ever felt like they pull away just when you get close...You NEED this conversation 
✨ Press play — what you’ll hear might flip your whole dynamic in the best way..
 
COURSES ON OFFER (beta round)
🖤 How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
OFFERS:
🖤📱 ON SALE: "Stop Obsessing Over Texts in 21 Days or Less" 
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
 
FREE:
🖤 FREE Attachment LIBRARY:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Intro01:16 The Myth You've Been Sold04:17 What Emotional Freedom Actually Looks Like08:49 Where This Really Comes From11:41 What You Can Do Instead - The Immediate Response19:37 Identifying Root Causes of Anxiety: The Why-Why-Why Exercise23:31 Make a decision25:38 Challenge and Reframe Your Core Belief27:37 How to REFRAME your Beliefs29:01 Creating Emotional Freedom Together - Practical Actions30:58 Building Your Capacity Gradually33:59 Quick Summary
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
 
 

51: Psychology Based Manifestation Guide⚡How to Manifest FAST (it's not about the method) Part 2

MYTH: Manifestation is about your vision board, your scripting journal, or how many times you say your affirmation...
👉 But here's the REAL tea:It’s not about the method - it’s about the moment.It’s about the state your body and brain are in when you're calling in what you want 🧠💭It’s about your frequency aka your energy.Your nervous system is either saying “I’m safe to receive this” or “This is a threat”...And it’s happening before your mind even catches up.
🖤 So let me tell you a little story...
I used to journal like crazy.I’d write: "I want a healthy, secure relationship."But then... my partner would pull away just a little — maybe a slow text back or just not that affectionate …And suddenly, BOOM 💥⛈️I’m triggered.I’m spiraling.I’m checking their tone, rereading their messages, wondering if I did something wrong.(You know the drill.)
And I’d think...“If I REALLY believed I was worthy of love, why does this feel like I’m being abandoned all over again?”
That’s when it hit me:The part of me trying to manifest was in ✨panic mode✨.So even if my words said “I’m ready for love”...My BODY was like “🚨LOVE IS UNSAFE!!”The frequency was off.I was still manifesting... but from fear, not safety.
This episode is for you if:✶ You’re trying to “do the work” but still get triggered by emotional distance✶ You’re craving secure love, but keep feeling rejected over little things✶ You want to understand why your body reacts so BIG to someone pulling away✶ You’re ready to shift from spiraling into grounding 🧠🖤✶ You want to stop “manifesting from a wound” and start calling love in from calm
You're not crazy. You're not too much.You're just triggered.And your nervous system has something to say 
Let’s get into it 🤍🎙
 
COURSES ON OFFER (beta round)
🖤 How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
OFFERS:
🖤📱 ON SALE: "Stop Obsessing Over Texts in 21 Days or Less" 
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
 
FREE:
🖤 FREE Attachment LIBRARY:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Intro: How to manifest even if you don’t believe in it00:58 01: The Identity Shift That Changes Everything (Psychology + Manifestation)07:39 02. The SECRET to Manifesting FAST (Even in Your Sleep)11:07 Your Morning & Night Routine for FASTER Manifestation16:46 03. Your Complete Manifestation Action Plan (6-Step Formula)
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

50: Psychology Based Manifestation Guide:🔮How to *actually* MANIFEST healthy, secure LOVE & stop attracting emotionally unavailable partner

Why You Keep Attracting the SAME Type of Guy (It's Not What You Think) I used to roll my eyes at manifestation until I discovered the neuroscience behind it.
Turns out, you're already manifesting every single day - even when you don't believe in it. And if you keep attracting emotionally unavailable partners who pull away the second you get close, there's a scientific reason why.
That's when I learned how to actually manifest healthy love, secure love - like emotionally available guys. Did you know?
Your brain literally can't tell the difference between what's real and what's imagined. So when you visualise being rejected over and over again, your nervous system thinks it's actually happening.
You're manifesting these painful moments through repetition - NOT by choice, but because your brain is wired to recreate what feels familiar from childhood, not what feels good. This isn't about vision boards or positive thinking. It's about understanding how your thoughts create your emotions, your emotions drive your actions, and your actions create your results.
I call it the SPEAK model, and it's rooted in cognitive behavioral therapy. In this episode, I break down:
✓ What manifestation actually is (spoiler: it's mental conditioning, not magic)
✓ Why your brain filters reality to match your beliefs
✓ How to identify the core beliefs keeping you stuck ✓ Why changing your environment is crucial for manifesting healthy love
✓ The difference between fake TikTok advice and science-based manifestation If you're tired of attracting the same patterns (the avoidant attached partner or an emotionally unavailable guy) and ready to understand the real psychology behind manifestation, this episode will change everything.
Ready to stop the toxic cycle of attracting wrong relationships and avoidant partners?
Change starts with understanding the psychology behind your patterns to attract healthy love and green flags. Resources mentioned:
🖤 FREE Attachment LIBRARY: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
Part 2: Identity Shifts & My Manifestation Formula (coming end of this week!)
♥️ Anxious to Secure PLAYLIST https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkaamihHgLaGB8Cui2BEQqnZDO5jK2GYf&si=MZVdY40W00Rgqcht
🖤 Attachment Style QUIZ
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
COURSE:
🖤 How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
STUDY VAULT:
🖤 https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
1:1 Support: https://tr.ee/PInPmy
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 How to Actually MANIFEST Healthy Love + Stop Attracting Emotionally Unavailable People01:27 The REAL Science Behind Manifestation02:41 The promise for YOU03:09 What is Manifestation (Really)?05:16 How Your Fear of Losing Them Becomes the Reality You Live09:13 You're ALWAYS Manifesting – Whether You Mean To Or Not11:56 How to train your brain to SPOT what you WANT - not what you fear14:02 Why your comfort zone os your WORST ENEMY16:54 How our environment manifest for us20:19 The Neuroscience of Emotions and Manifestation22:30 Why your environment controls MORE than you think26:10 Environment Audit: These Questions will change your love life28:38 Why your Actions don't match your Desires31:02 Why vision boards don't work32:49 Baby Steps that signal you're ready for secure love
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
 
 
#Manifestation #AttachmentStyle #EmotionallyUnavailableMen
 

49: Why is my Avoidant Partner SO DEFENSIVE? 🛡 Gottman Warns: this can END Relationships

Defensiveness KILLS relationships, not overnight but slowly. Painfully.
Like emotional water damage, you don’t notice until the floor caves in. 
 
In this episode, relationship coach Jula (hi! that’s me) breaks down:
✶ Why your avoidant partner gets defensive-especially when all you want is closeness✶ How anxious attachment can unknowingly trigger the "Four Horsemen"✶ Gottman’s game-changing research on communication patterns that predict a breakup✶ What defensiveness sounds like in everyday convos + texts✶ How to respond in a way that softens walls, not raises them
 
If you’ve ever said:➞ “Why do they always twist things?”➞ “I just want to talk but it turns into a fight…”➞ “I feel like I’m the only one trying…”
This episode is for YOU. 
 
PLUS...you’ll also get a quick WEEKLY ACTION PLAN at the end...because awareness without action keeps you stuck. Let’s create real shifts
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Understanding Defensiveness in Relationships01:27 When I was stuck in the Anxious-Avoidant Cycle02:32 What Is Defensiveness in Relationships?04:05 Real Life Examples of Defensiveness in Avoidant-Anxious Relationships04:58 The 4 Horsemen of Relationship Doom 🐎🔥05:25 🐎 01 Why Criticism Feels Like Protection (But Isn’t)05:46 🐎 02 Defensiveness - The Avoidant’s Shield 🛡️06:14 🐎 03 Contempt The Silent Relationship Killer06:39 🐎 04 Stonewalling - When Overwhelm Shuts Us Down07:19 the ONLY thing you can CONTROL08:38 The SOLUTION That Changes Everything ✨🪄10:20 How to Start Differently - Gottman’s SOFT STARTUP Magic11:55 My personal TWIST on GOTTMAN'S FORMULA12:50 The REFRAME in your words that changed the energy14:31 Being Vulnerable so they can be too15:25 Long-term Tool: How to RAISE your vibration in your Relationship16:34 5 Step Weekly Action Plan: Break the Criticism–Defensiveness Loop
 
 
OFFERS: 
🖤📱 ON SALE: "Stop Obsessing Over Texts in 21 Days or Less" —
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
(It's packed with tools to calm your anxious brain &
Finally stop spiralling after every “seen” or emoji reply)
 
🖤 How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
FREE:
🖤 FREE Attachment LIBRARY:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
♥️ YOUTUBE:
How to use CHATGPT as THERAPIST for healing your ANXIOUS attachment
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-g4bJH_Kb1g&t=3273s&list=PLkaamihHgLaFKGx4eLHBUzKube_Xd7So2&index=2&t=47s
 
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

48: ✨ 10 Things I Wish I KNEW in My 20s about relationships, love, mindset, anxiety, dating (BEFORE healing my Anxious attachment)

🖤 Attachment Style QUIZ 
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
🎧 Listen now BEFORE you turn 30:
 
(Or honestly… even if you’re already past it ✨ this still hits.)
If you're in your 20s, anxiously attached, and OVER second-guessing yourself in relationships, friendships, or your life path ...this episode is a wake-up call 📱🖤
 
I’m breaking down 10 brutally honest lessons I wish someone had told me before I kept chasing people who didn’t see me… abandoning my needs to feel liked… and confusing chemistry with connection 💭💔
(While I have no regrets, because all of these taught me SO much and made me who I am...
I  still do SECRETLY wish I could turn back the clock for some...)
 
This episode isn’t relationship or mindset advice ... it’s more me being vulnerable.
So if you want to build real confidence, stop self-abandoning, and being kind to yourself...this might be your episode.
 
🎧 Listen to this if you:★ Keep choosing partners who feel hot and cold★ Want to stop overthinking relationships + reading into everything and have negative self talk★Are tired of abandoning your needs to “keep the peace”★Want to FEEL secure without needing constant reassurance
 
OFFERS: 
🖤📱 ON SALE: "Stop Obsessing Over Texts in 21 Days or Less" —
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
(It's packed with tools to calm your anxious brain &
Finally stop spiralling after every “seen” or emoji reply)
 
🖤 How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
FREE:
🖤 FREE Attachment LIBRARY:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
♥️ YOUTUBE:
How to use CHATGPT as THERAPIST for healing your ANXIOUS attachment
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-g4bJH_Kb1g&t=3273s&list=PLkaamihHgLaFKGx4eLHBUzKube_Xd7So2&index=2&t=47s
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Lessons from My 20s: A Journey of Self-Discovery02:25 10 things I WISH I’d known in my 20s02:48 #01 The energy I wasted not speaking up for myself04:05 #02 Fitting in isn’t the same as belonging05:29 #03. If I had learned social skills earlier, I could’ve avoided years of social anxiety06:50 #04 Alcohol is NOT a shortcut to confidence08:26 #05. Hanging out with the wrong people just to be liked is self-abandonment09:36 #06. Letting parents' opinions dictate my decisions stole my power11:25 #07. Over-giving in my first relationship destroyed my self-worth12:31 #08. There’s a difference between unavailability and avoidant attachment13:51 #09. Attaching too fast makes fantasy feel like fate15:36 #10. Your thoughts are not facts16:28 Bonus Lessons...I WOULD tattoo on my soul16:38 ➤ BONUS 0118:49 ➤ BONUS 220:00 ➤ BONUS 03
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
 

47: How to use CHATGPT 🤖❤️‍🩹 as THERAPIST for healing your ANXIOUS attachment with prompts

STEAL MY FREE 3o+ ChatGPT Prompt PDF (for this episode)  NOW:
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/chatgptprompts
 
Ready to STOP Being Controlled by Your Anxious Attachment? 🧠✨
How to Use ChatGPT as Your 24/7 AI Therapist (and finally heal those attachment wounds!)
In this episode of The Anxious to Secure Podcast, I'm revealing my SECRET WEAPON that's helping my clients transform their anxious attachment without spending thousands on therapy! 💸
Your phone has a hidden therapist, bestie, and secure attachment coach all in one - and I'm showing you EXACTLY how to use it! 🔥
You'll discover:
My 5-STEP SYSTEM for using ChatGPT to calm anxiety spirals 😌
30+ POWERFUL PROMPTS that work at 2AM when your chest is tight & you can't stop overthinking 📱
How to create your own AI THERAPY CONTAINER that understands your unique triggers 💭
The EXACT words to type when you're feeling "not good enough" or scared they'll leave 🖤
Whether you're obsessively checking your phone after they "need space" or you're caught in the same anxious patterns AGAIN...
This episode is a GAME-CHANGER for anyone ready to build secure attachment from within. 🌱
Because healing doesn't have to wait for an opening on your therapist's calendar or cost your entire paycheck! 💸
🎧 Listen now + download your FREE ChatGPT Prompt Cheat Sheet to start feeling secure TODAY!
P.S. Want more tools for healing anxious attachment? 👀 Grab my FREE Attachment Library with worksheets, guides & resources mentioned in this episode!
 
🖤 FREE Attachment LIBRARY:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
CHATPERS:
00:00 Can AI Heal Your Anxious Attachment and be REALLY your free therapist?02:04 My Clients Success Using AI03:12 How I healed my Anxious Attachment Style04:21 4 SECRETS to USE ChatGPT as your free Therapist05:18 #01 Ask Context-Rich Questions06:29 #02 Tell ChatGPT exactly HOW you want support.06:47 #03 Name your physical sensations and emotional triggers with precision07:10 #04 Never settle for surface-level insights.07:47 ✶ Your 5-step SYSTEM for healing anxious attachment with ChatGPT ✶07:55 ✶ STEP 0: Setting Up Your ChatGPT Healing Container08:24 Chat 01: Your personal, free therapist09:47 Chat 02: Your BESTIE11:02 Chat 03: You 2.012:09 Chat 04: YOUR Nervous System Coach13:05 Chat 05: Your Journal Partner14:13 PRO TIPS16:35 IMPORTANT BEFORE using AI AS Therapist17:15 Free Attachment Library for more resources18:29 ✶ STEP 1: Calming Your Anxious Mind & Body19:52 Prompt 01 (With ChatGPT answering)21:17 Prompt 02 (With ChatGPT Answering)23:07 Prompt 0324:19 Prompt 0425:28 Prompt 0526:37 Prompt 0626:55 Prompt 07 (With ChatGPT Answering)29:01 Prompt 08 (Having ChatGPT Answer)30:09 ✶ STEP 2: Envisioning & Embodying Your Secure Self30:42 Prompt 0131:04 Prompt 0231:17 Prompt 03 (Having ChatGPT Answer)33:46 ✶ STEP 3: Transform Your Core Beliefs36:47 Prompt 0138:48 Prompt 0239:43 Prompt 03 (Having ChatGPT Answer)43:22 Prompt 05 (Having ChatGPT Answer)45:20 Prompt 0646:40 ✶ STEP 4: Meeting Your Deeper Needs47:08 Prompt 01 (Having ChatGPT Answer)49:36 Prompt 0250:20 Prompt 0350:41 Prompt 0451:41 Prompt 05 (having ChatGPT Answer)53:08 Prompt 0554:21 ✶ STEP 5: BONUS: Healing Your Inner Child54:31 Prompt 0155:21 Prompt 02 (Having ChatGPT Answer)56:59 Prompt 0359:34 Prompt 0401:00:38 Prompt 0501:01:13 ✶ Your 5 Step Secure Action Plan ✶
 
 
📢 ON SALE 📢 🖤 Attachment 101 Master Guide 🖤 only 7 EURO.
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/101
 
♥️ YOUTUBE:
(4 ways How to DETACH emotionally)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLi57Sgd3nE&t=1567s
 
♥️ Anxious to Secure PLAYLIST
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkaamihHgLaGB8Cui2BEQqnZDO5jK2GYf&si=MZVdY40W00Rgqcht
 
 
🖤 Attachment Style QUIZ 
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
🖤 How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
 
 

46: How to HEAL Your 💗 Feminine Energy + Anxious Attachment in Your Relationships (5 STEPS)

How to Heal Your 💗 Feminine Energy + Anxious Attachment in Your Relationships (5 Steps)
Feeling stuck in overthinking, overgiving, or over-controlling in your relationships?
You’re not alone.
This episode is for the women who feel EXHAUSTED from constantly doing, fixing, proving, and chasing... but deep down, just want to feel safe enough to soften, trust, and receive love without fear of abandonment.
In this powerful episode, I walk you through 5 essential steps to heal your anxious attachment and reconnect with your feminine energy — in a way that actually feels safe to your nervous system.
🧠 We talk about:
How anxious attachment leads to toxic masculine energy patterns (control, overfunctioning, hyper-independence)
Why you can’t "just surrender" if your nervous system is still in survival mode
What it actually means to feel safe in a relationship
The difference between masculine vs feminine energy (and why both are healthy — when balanced)
How to stop overworking, overanalyzing, and over-efforting in love
Real signs you're stuck in survival mode (and how to gently come out)
🔥 Plus: Practical journal prompts, nervous system tools, and coaching questions to help you drop the mask and reconnect with your soft, secure self — without losing your strength.
This is deep inner work. But if you’re ready to stop managing love and start receiving it — this episode will meet you where you are.
🎧 Listen now for real talk, real tools, and real healing...lets gooo.
 
 
🖤 Grab my mini-course
"Stop Obsessing Over Texts in 21 Days or Less" —
It's packed with tools to calm your anxious brain &
finally stop spiralling after every “seen” or emoji reply.
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
🖤 FREE Attachment LIBRARY
(worksheets, prompts, quizzes and more)
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
 
♥️ YOUTUBE:
(4 ways How to DETACH emotionally)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLi57Sgd3nE&t=1567s
 
♥️
10 Ways to DECENTER Men in Relationships 2025 -
Stop Chasing Male Validation
http://youtube.com/watch?v=xE4Ebl92uUY&list=PLkaamihHgLaGB8Cui2BEQqnZDO5jK2GYf&index=5
 
 
🖤 Attachment Style QUIZ 
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
 
🖤 How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
📺 CHAPTERS
00:00 INTRO: How to heal your FEMININE energy + ANXIOUS attachment in Your Relationships01:15 WHY you can't "SURRENDER" to HIM03:09 WHY you can't lean back into your FEMININE energy!04:01 How SURVIVAL energy looks like - wounded feminine energy08:27 So what IS masculine vs feminine energy?09:04 5 Steps to Heal Anxious Attachment AND Feminine Energy!10:51 Step 1: Ask — Am I Safe Here?12:24 Step 2: Recognise the Masculine Mask13:22 Step 3: Regulate Before You Receive15:31 Step 4: Lean Into Little Soft Moments17:08 Step 5: Heal Your Abandonment Wounds
 
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

45: Do THIS When he Doesn't REPLY to Your Text - Anxious to Secure Attachment GUIDE

🖤 WHEN HE DOESN’T TEXT BACK... (it's NOT about him. You DON'T need his reassurance.)🖤
 
🖤📱 ON SALE: "Stop Obsessing Over Texts in 21 Days or Less" —
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
(It's packed with tools to calm your anxious brain &
Finally stop spiralling after every “seen” or emoji reply)
 
If your stomach drops every time he leaves you on read…If your brain screams “he’s pulling away” when there’s no reply…
This episode will help you calm your nervous system, shift your beliefs, and stop spiraling when he doesn’t text back.
You’ll get actual TOOLS — not just “go for a walk” 🙄 — and learn how to rewire your response to texting anxiety from the inside out.
This isn’t about pretending you don’t care.It’s about learning to feel SAFE even when your phone is silent.
✨💭👀 Whether it’s been 24 hours, a full day, or just a few minutes, your anxious brain is probably filling in the blanks with fear:➞ Why hasn’t he replied?➞ Did I say something wrong?➞ Is he over me?
I GOT YOU. Let’s untangle that.This is your full breakdown of why texting anxiety happens —
and how to feel calmer, more grounded, and secure AF 💪🏽🖤
 
 
🖤 FREE Attachment LIBRARY
(worksheets, prompts, quizzes and more)
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
 
♥️ YOUTUBE:
(4 ways How to DETACH emotionally)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLi57Sgd3nE&t=1567s
 
♥️ Anxious to Secure PLAYLIST
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkaamihHgLaGB8Cui2BEQqnZDO5jK2GYf&si=MZVdY40W00Rgqcht
 
 
🖤 Attachment Style QUIZ 
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
🖤 How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
📺 CHAPTERS00:00 Understanding Text Anxiety01:47 The Roots of Anxious Attachment03:08 Visualisation of the SECURE SELF: WHY it works06:13 TRY THIS EXERCISE:06:40 Anxious attachment behaviors to AVOID08:48 Free Resources: The ATTACHMENT LIBRARY09:21 Do this when they don't reply to your text: secure behaviors09:59 The Secret of building SELF-TRUST12:57 Stop OBSESSING over TEXTs in 21 DAYS or less13:54 F.A.R.E. FRAMEWORK to rewire your Anxious Beliefs17:02 Exposure Therapy for Anxious Attachment: Step-by-Step17:18 SET UP your phone for success18:37 Exposure Therapy for Dating Anxiety21:03 Gradual Exposure Therapy for Relationships23:42 Hacks to reduce phone-dopamine addiction25:37 Your 8-Step Action PLAN for Text Anxiety28:45 Final Takeaway
 
✨ What You’ll Learn (And Actually Use)
➞ Why a slow reply triggers PANIC in anxious attachment — and how that pain is tied to abandonment wiring in your nervous system➞ The exact thoughts that fuel texting anxiety (like “he’s over me” or “I ruined it”) — and how to challenge them with your F.A.R.E. framework 🧠➞ How to pause instead of spiraling — with one powerful visualization tool that builds safety in your body ✨➞ What anxious behaviors to AVOID (like rereading the thread 50x, sending more texts, or jumping to worst-case thinking)➞ The REAL difference between a red flag 🚩 and an attachment trigger — especially when he doesn’t text for 24+ hours➞ Why ignoring him back doesn’t make you more secure — and what to do instead that ACTUALLY shifts your power back 🖤➞ How to soothe your obsession with your phone 📱 and break the dopamine loop that’s keeping you hooked on the next reply➞ What a secure woman might say to herself when she doesn’t get a text back — and how YOU can practice that mindset, too 💪🏽➞ Why “giving him space” isn’t about freezing yourself out or pretending you don’t care — it’s about making space INSIDE you➞ How to respond to emotional silence without losing your voice — aligned options that honor your feelings without chasing➞ What to do when your body wants to panic but you know texting won’t fix it — try the 8-step calm plan I walk you through➞ How to use gradual exposure to build nervous system tolerance to texting silence (without ghosting your own needs)➞ Tools to rewire your thoughts and behaviors in the moment — so you can stop obsessing over texts and reclaim your calm 🧠
 
📓✨ BONUS TOOL: Your 8-Step Action PlanUse this anytime you’re spiraling about a text ⬇
BREATHE – Inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4
FIND THE THOUGHT – “He’s pulling away,” “I’m too much.”
ASK QUESTIONS – Is this FACT or just FEAR?
REFRAME + ECHO – “This is an old wound.”
VISUALIZE – Calm, confident, no urge to reply
GRADUAL EXPOSURE – Sit with the discomfort for 15 mins
REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY – “Am I letting this text control my whole life?”
BUILD EVIDENCE – “I’ve survived worse than this”
🧠 This episode will help you feel less crazy, less desperate, and WAY more in control the next time you feel that panicky texting spiral.
 
 
📢 ON SALE 📢 🖤 Attachment 101 Master Guide 🖤 only 7 EURO.
(👀 Anxious spin to Secure within)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/101
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.