The Anxious To Secure PODCAST

111: (part 2) 10 truths about men I wish I KNEW SOONER when I was insecure

10 Hard Truths to STOP Chasing (Anxious Attachment & Dating Advice)
If you’re an anxiously attached woman who keeps overthinking texts, overgiving in dating, and chasing emotionally unavailable men, this episode is for you 🖤✨
This is what I wish I knew in my 20s about men and relationships — before I burned myself out trying to be chosen, trying to be “easy to love,” and trying to make men stay.
In this podcast episode, I share dating advice for anxious attachment, explain how men actually fall in love, and why chasing, proving, and people-pleasing push men away instead of creating connection. You’ll learn how to stop obsessing, stop abandoning yourself, set healthy boundaries, and attract secure, emotionally available men without playing games or pretending not to care.
This episode is especially for women struggling with relationship anxiety, fear of abandonment, limerence, and anxious-avoidant dating dynamics — the women who keep asking:“Why do I care more than he does?”“Why do men pull away when I get attached?”
You’re not broken. This is about attachment wiring, not your worth 🔒🧠
 
💎 Courses
✨ Stop *FINALLY* Obsessing Over Texts (because YOU're BRIAN is the one creating YOUR anxiety,
NOT how they communicate with you)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
 
💛 Free Stuff 30+ resources
Free Attachment Library
➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
 
⏰ What you’ll learn in this episode:
00:00 Understanding Men's Love Dynamics00:07 01. Understand how MEN fall in love (not what you think)04:26 02. Let Him Be Your Hero09:57 3. Men are attracted to confidence AND boundaries12:30 4. Men fall for presence, not perfection16:06 5. Physical intimacy creates FAST bonds - use it wisely17:50 6. Men secretly love a woman obsessed with HERSELF19:42 7. The more you abandon yourself, the more emotionally unavailable men show up20:54 8. Give him freedom - the healthiest power move23:07 9. Obsession is a signal - not love24:34 10. Make Him Fear He Could Lose You26:11 Summary
 
 
 
🖤 About me
I’m Jula, an attachment style coach.I help women stop chasing, stop overgiving, and attract secure love ✨
 
💌 Work with me
➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy
WhatsApp Coaching
➞ Start Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

110: 10 Crucial lessons👨🏻‍💼 I wish I Knew about men in my 20s about MEN (avoid my own mistakes)

➞ Take the 3min FREE Attachment Quiz (3.7K others did before you) https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
What I wish I knew when I was 20 about men.Truly.What would I wish I had known when I was 20? 🫂✨
These are the REAL truths about men I learned the hard way.As an ex–anxious attachment girl.Heartbroken.Overthinking every text 📱Feeling insecure WAY too often 🥶⛈
If you have anxious attachment, this episode is for YOU 🔒🤍If you keep attracting emotionally unavailable men.If you chase, overgive, and lose yourself trying to be chosen.If dating feels like a 🎢 instead of something calm and safe.
In this episode, I’m sharing truths about men for anxious attachment that would have completely changed my 20s.Psychology hacks How men’s brains actually work 🔮How they experience attraction.How they love.And why doing MORE usually pushes them away 🚩
This is NOT men vs women ❌It’s attachment styles.Nervous system wiring Polarity.And why anxious energy quietly kills attraction even when your intentions are pure 🩹
 
I share what actually makes men pursue 🐆Why boundaries create attraction How overgiving backfires.And what secure love really looks like when you stop performing and start being YOU 
This is dating advice for anxious women who want to stop auditioning.Stop proving.Stop waiting by the phone 👀📱And finally feel calm, grounded, and confident in love ✨
 
I’m Jula Attachment style coach.I went from anxious to earned secure 5 years ago in only 6 months🦸🏼‍♀️
Welcome to the Anxious to Secure Podcast 🎙🤍
 
 
CHAPTERS:
 
00:00 10 Truths about men (about attachment styles, polarity, chasing) that would have CHANGED my 20's completely01:27 01. It was NEVER about “men vs women.”02:55 02. You teach a man EXACTLY how to treat you in the FIRST weeks.03:57 03. If you treat him like a toddler, he WILL act like one.05:29 04. If you want a man to pursue you, STOP performing.07:37 05. Men respond to your ENERGY, not your anxiety.09:03 06. Red flags don’t fade - they grow.10:46 07. You were NEVER “too much.” His capacity was too little.12:42 08. A man’s effort is the ONLY real truth - not his words.14:33 9. Love isn’t always “I love you” 50 times a day.17:30 10. If a man is confused about you, he is NOT your person.19:57 Summary
 
 
💛 Free Stuff 30+ resources
Free Attachment Library
➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
 
💎 Courses
ON SALE: ✨ Stop *FINALLY* Obsessing Over Texts (because YOU're BRIAN is the one creating YOUR anxiety,
NOT how they communicate with you)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
ON SALE: 
✨ How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in  only 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner...because every minute you're imagining HIM leaving, you're manifesting it, as you're brain can't tell the difference between imagining and REAL.)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
 
💬 Work 1:1 with Me
➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy
WhatsApp Coaching
➞ Start Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
 
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

109: *10 TRUTHS* That Make Someone Chase You (and stop obsessing over them)

 
If you’re stuck chasing crumbs… overthinking every text… or getting attached to guys who give the BARE minimum — this episode is your wake-up call. 
 
I’m breaking down why your anxious attachment makes you want the most unavailable guy… why your brain obsesses over mixed signals… and why you keep replaying his “hey” like it’s a love letter.
 
You’ll learn the 10 TRUTHS that flip the script — the ones that make HIM chase YOU.
Not by playing games… but by becoming SECURE, magnetic, grounded, and done with the old patterns that kept you stuck. 📓🖤
 
Inside this episode you’ll get:
★ why chasing makes him pull away★ why scarcity makes you crave him★ why your brain confuses rejection with danger★ why you ignore the guy who actually likes you★ why obsession kicks in when your body feels abandonment coming★ and how to detach in a way that makes you feel confident, not cold ✨
By the end, you’ll know exactly how to stop overgiving, stop spiraling, stop proving yourself… and finally let HIM step up.
 
CHAPTER
00:00 Introduction to Transformative Truths01:52 1. Whatever is being CHASED… RUNS03:15 2. The more UNAVAILABLE he is… the more your brain craves him04:59 3. Rejection hits the brain like actual PAIN ⛈️05:59 4. When 19 adore you and 1 ignores you… your brain locks onto the ONE08:07 5. When you chase, he relaxes. When you relax, he CHASES15:15 6. Obsession kicks in when your body thinks you’re about to be ABANDONED20:42 7. If he can PREDICT you… he stops pursuing22:46 8. Your fantasy version of him does 95% of the chasing25:01 Your Homework - 3 easy practical steps to STOP obsessing over HIM
 
 
💛 Free Stuff
Free Attachment Library(30+ worksheets, downloads, guides, flow-charts, prompts, videos, etc)
➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
Like the 💭 CHALLENGE 🔍 Your Thoughts - CHEAT SHEET
To Stop Running On Autopilot
 
💎 Courses
ON SALE: ✨ Stop *FINALLY* Obsessing Over Texts (because YOU're BRIAN is the one creating YOUR anxiety,
NOT how they communicate with you)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
ON SALE: 
✨ How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in  only 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner...because every minute you're imagining HIM leaving, you're manifesting it, as you're brain can't tell the difference between imagining and REAL.)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
 
💬 Work 1:1 with Me
Personal Coaching(Shift anxious attachment & reclaim your energy)
➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy
WhatsApp Coaching(Daily support + check-ins straight to your phone)
➞ Start Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
 
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

108: Pep talk💓🫂 feeling too sensitive, too emotional or too anxious?

💎 (ON SALE)Courses
✨ Stop *FINALLY* Obsessing Over Texts (because YOU're BRIAN is the one creating YOUR anxiety,
NOT how they communicate with you)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
✨ How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in  only 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner...because every minute you're imagining HIM leaving, you're manifesting it, as you're brain can't tell the difference between imagining and REAL.)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
 
Do you often feel overly sensitive, anxious, or like you’re too much in your relationships?
Do your emotions feel intense, your thoughts replay endlessly, or your need for connection feel overwhelming?
You’re not alone
and there’s nothing wrong with how deeply you feel. In this episode, we explore emotional sensitivity, anxious attachment, overthinking, and the power of fully embracing your feelings.
 
Grab a warm drink and save this episode for the times you feel like nothing is going right.
 
You’ll hear why:
Being too sensitive can actually be your superpower
Overthinking is just your brain processing deeply, not a flaw
Needing connection and setting boundaries shows strength
Your past experiences aren’t mistakes—they’re lessons that shaped your growth
Maybe, just maybe… you’re not the problem. Sometimes, others just can’t handle your energy and that’s okay.
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 What if… you’re not actually “too much”?04:02 What if you were never the one who needed “fixing”… and no one told you?
 
💬 Work 1:1 with Me
Personal Coaching(Shift anxious attachment & reclaim your energy)
➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy
WhatsApp Coaching(Daily support + check-ins straight to your phone)
➞ Start Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
💛 Free Stuff
Free Attachment Library(30+ worksheets, downloads, guides, flow-charts, prompts, videos, etc)
➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
Like the 💭 CHALLENGE 🔍 Your Thoughts - CHEAT SHEET
To Stop Running On Autopilot
 
⁀➴  (join 3K OTHERS!) 
➞ Take the 3min FREE Quiz: https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
(Know your type so you do the right work)

107: 10+ Ways you Secretly 🤫 increase your relationship anxiety UNKNOWINGLY (that are NOT even about him)

જ⁀➴  (join 3K OTHERS!) 
➞ Take the 3min FREE Quiz:  https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
(Know your type so you do the right work)
 
10+ MICRO-HABITS That Increase Your Relationship Anxiety (Even When They Have NOTHING To Do With Your Relationship) 
If you’re trying to go from anxious to secure, but you keep feeling on-edge for “no reason”… this episode is going to BLOW your mind. ★
These are the sneaky little habits that wire your nervous system into ALERT MODE before you even speak to him.And no  it’s not always your partner.
Sometimes it’s your life, your routines, your tiny micro-stressors… and they make your anxious attachment feel LOUDER. 
 
Think:waking up + grabbing your phone…scrolling emails before coffee…seeing a cute couple video that makes your chest tighten…or drinking coffee on an empty stomach that tricks your brain into panic mode.
Your nervous system remembers old patterns.It fires BEFORE your mind even notices what’s going on.And suddenly his “I’ll call you later” feels like danger. ⛈️
Inside this episode, I walk you through 13 micro-habits that unknowingly spike your relationship anxiety and keep you stuck in anxious patterns even when your relationship is actually fine.
And yes…
I give you TINY homework at the end so you can actually create change and start becoming your secure, calm, grounded self NOW… not “one day.” 🖤✨
★
 
Homework inside the episode:pick 3 habits → track your body → switch 1 thing → watch your anxiety soften.Tiny shifts = BIG emotional regulation. 📓✨
 
 
 
💛 Free Stuff
Free Attachment Library(30+ worksheets, downloads, guides, flow-charts, prompts, videos, etc)
➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
Like the 💭 CHALLENGE 🔍 Your Thoughts - CHEAT SHEET
To Stop Running On Autopilot
 
💎 Courses
ON SALE: ✨ Stop *FINALLY* Obsessing Over Texts (because YOU're BRIAN is the one creating YOUR anxiety,
NOT how they communicate with you)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
ON SALE: 
✨ How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in  only 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner...because every minute you're imagining HIM leaving, you're manifesting it, as you're brain can't tell the difference between imagining and REAL.)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
 
💬 Work 1:1 with Me
Personal Coaching(Shift anxious attachment & reclaim your energy)
➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy
WhatsApp Coaching(Daily support + check-ins straight to your phone)
➞ Start Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Understanding Relationship Anxiety02:23 Habit 0103:20 Habit 0204:29 Habit 0305:03 Habit 0405:55 Habit 0506:44 Habit 0609:49 Habit 0710:52 Habit 0812:11 Habit 0913:43 Habit 1015:07 Habit 11 *bonus16:37 Habit 12 *bonus17:16 Your HOMEWORK *to create REAL change and regulate
 
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
 

106: how to DETACH from someone you love, loved ⛓️‍💥🖤 (validation + outcomes) RE-MIX

💛 Free Stuff
Free Attachment Library(30+ worksheets, downloads, guides, flow-charts, prompts, videos, etc)
➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
Like the 💭 CHALLENGE 🔍 Your Thoughts - CHEAT SHEET
To Stop Running On Autopilot
 
💎 Courses
ON SALE: 
✨ Stop *FINALLY* Obsessing Over Texts (because YOU're BRIAN is the one creating YOUR anxiety,
NOT how they communicate with you)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
ON SALE: 
✨ How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in  only 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner...because every minute you're imagining HIM leaving, you're manifesting it, as you're brain can't tell the difference between imagining and REAL.)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
 
This episode blends my three most downloaded lessons on how to detach  from someone you love, from your ex, from the person whose approval you keep chasing, and from the outcomes that keep you anxious.
Inside this replay you’ll get a mix of:➞ how to detach from someone you love or loved➞ how to stop chasing validation + approval➞ how to detach from outcomes so your nervous system can breathe again
If you’re stuck in that exhausting loop of:
checking your phone
waiting for a text
replaying conversations
craving reassurance
attaching to their approval
or feeling like your day depends on how someone else responds…
…this episode will feel like a warm, honest reset.
 
Here’s what we go into together:✶ why your brain stays attached even when YOU want to move on✶ the belief that creates the most emotional pain✶ 10 micro habits that make detachment feel doable, realistic, and natural✶ how to communicate without spiraling or over-attaching✶ why your anxiety has nothing to do with them and everything to do with your attachment system✶ how to stop making everything personal✶ how to choose your own approval first✶ simple tools like the energy bubble, the validation vault, and the 30-second self check-in✶ what real inner detachment looks like (without going cold or pretending you don’t care)
 
And I remind you of the truth:This isn’t about their reply speed, their energy, or their “mood.”This is about your anxious brain, your wiring, and your patterns  which YOU can change.
If you want deeper support detaching from the obsessive thoughts, the texting anxiety, or the constant need for reassurance, both courses mentioned in this episode are still available in beta at a reduced price. You’ll get email support from me during the beta round too.
 
 
💬 Work 1:1 with Me
Personal Coaching(Shift anxious attachment & reclaim your energy)
➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy
WhatsApp Coaching(Daily support + check-ins straight to your phone)
➞ Start Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
 
CHAPTERS:
00:47 4 Steps to Detach emotionally from outcomes and people you love the most
35:07 How to detach from validation and others approval
1:09:15 How to detach from your EX (and people you loved)
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
 

105: MAIN character energy 👸🏻👀for anxious attachment: 12 steps to feeling secure in 2026

✨ Imagine you’re done waiting for someone else to decide your mood, your worth, or your story. You’re ready to step fully into Main Character Energy and lead your life with confidence, joy, and magic 🦄
In this episode, we break down how anxious attachment quietly pulls you into side-character mode
and exactly how to flip the script
💛 Learn practical, everyday ways to own your energy, your choices, and your story...so you can feel powerful, magnetic, and fully YOU 🌙
 
🌟 What you’ll discover in this episode:
Why your partner is just a chapter, not the whole book ✨
How to make tiny everyday actions feel cinematic and magical
13 practical rules to channel Main Character Energy immediately 💎
How to shift from anxious attachment to a secure, confident vibe
Real-life examples and micro-moments to claim your power today
 
Think of your life like a movie 🎬 You’re the lead. You decide the plot. You control the energy. Not your partner. Not your past. Not anyone else 🦄
If you’re ready to stop reacting, stop shrinking, and show up fully as the main character of your life, this episode is your blueprint 🌙✨
 
💛 Free Stuff
🧠 Quick 3-min Attachment Quiz(Know your type so you do the right work)
➞ Take Quiz: https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
🌙 Free Attachment Library(30+ worksheets, downloads, guides, flow-charts, prompts, videos, etc)
➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
💎 Courses
ON SALE: ✨ Stop *FINALLY* Obsessing Over Texts (because YOU're BRIAN is the one creating YOUR anxiety,
NOT how they communicate with you)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
ON SALE: ✨ How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in  only 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner...because every minute you're imagining HIM leaving, you're manifesting it, as you're brain can't tell the difference between imagining and REAL.)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
💬 Work 1:1 with Me
💎 Personal Coaching(Shift anxious attachment & reclaim your energy)
➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy
📱 WhatsApp Coaching(Daily support + check-ins straight to your phone)
➞ Start Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Understanding Anxious Attachment and Main Character Energy01:35 Benefits of not being the side Character in your Story for your Anxious Attachment03:16 Myth: "Main Character only works for Influencer or if you have time""06:36 Questions to Channel your MAIN CHARACTER energy07:01 Secure Attachment And Main Character Energy08:12 13 Practical Steps to Main Character Energy08:36 Rule 01: Your partner is a chapter, not the entire book09:10 Rule 02. Choose one signature thing.09:50 Rule 03. Turn a boring household task into a movie scene.10:53 Rule 04. Your inner voice is the “voiceover” of your movie11:39 Rule 05. You are both actor and writer of your life12:44 Rule 06. Give yourself a soundtrack14:31 Rule 07. Romanticize the missing15:56 Rule 08. Link your mood to a character instead of a flaw.16:46 Rule 09. Add one cozy upgrade.18:27 Rule 10. Walk like someone is watching your19:08 Rule 11. Ask: “What would people on the couch SCREAM at you?"20:26 Rule 12. Pause before reacting - see it like a chapter.21:11 Key takeaways to remember
 
 
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
 

104: Put yourself FIRST this Christmas 🎄🎀 how DE-CENTERING your partner can actually bring you closer

💛 Free Stuff
Quick 3-min Attachment Quiz(Know your type so you do the right work)
➞ Take Quiz: https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
Free Attachment Library(30+ worksheets, downloads, guides, flow-charts, prompts, videos, etc)
➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
💎 Courses
ON SALE: ✨ Stop *FINALLY* Obsessing Over Texts (because YOU're BRIAN is the one creating YOUR anxiety,
NOT how they communicate with you)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
ON SALE: ✨ How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in  only 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner...because every minute you're imagining HIM leaving, you're manifesting it, as you're brain can't tell the difference between imagining and REAL.)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
💬 Work 1:1 with Me
Personal Coaching(Shift anxious attachment & reclaim your energy)
➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy
WhatsApp Coaching(Daily support + check-ins straight to your phone)
➞ Start Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
Feeling anxious, overlooked, or way too focused on your partner this Christmas? 🎄This episode shows you why putting yourself FIRST is the thing that actually brings your partner closer… not further away.
If you’ve been carrying the whole holiday on your shoulders…If you’re replaying his texts…If you’re trying to “make Christmas perfect” so he doesn’t pull away…this is the episode you’ve been needing. 
You’ll hear the truth about what happens when you stop centering him…and start centering YOU.
 
You’ll learn:🎁 why your nervous system is so triggered during the holidays☕️ why your anxious brain wants him to fix everything🎄 how de-centering him stops the chasing cycle🕯 how boundaries actually create connection🧣 how micro-traditions make you feel grounded again💛 why focusing on your own joy makes you more magnetic, not “selfish”
 
This is for you if you’re tired of:✨ waiting for him to make plans✨ walking on eggshells around his mood✨ feeling like Christmas depends on how much he shows up✨ shrinking yourself so you don’t “ruin the vibe”
Inside this episode, you’ll get the deeper WHY behind all of it...the attachment science, the anxious-avoidant patterns, the nervous-system pieceall explained in simple, calm, friend-to-friend language. ✨🧣
You’ll hear the exact steps to:✨ regulate YOUR body first✨ create micro-joy without waiting for him✨ set boundaries without guilt✨ build traditions that center you✨ stop chasing, over-functioning, and people-pleasing
 
And yes… we talk about the magic part:how de-centering him is what actually makes him come closer.Not because you’re playing a game…but because you’re finally full, calm, grounded, and in your own power. ✨🎄
If you want a lighter Christmas…a calmer body…a deeper connection without pressure…and a relationship that feels less like survival mode…this episode is your reset.
Let it play while you wrap gifts, take a walk in the cold air ❄️,
light a candle, drink your warm coffee ☕️and feel the pressure melt off your body little by little.
And if this hits home and you want help healing your anxious attachment…my 1:1 coaching and entry-level offers are open.You don’t have to spend another Christmas feeling like you’re “not enough.” 
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Putting Yourself First This Christmas01:06 1. You can create magic without him04:15 2. Boundaries are love12:14 3. Regulate your nervous system first13:36 4. Micro-traditions that center YOU17:52 5. Decentering him actually brings you closer19:19 Closing pep note
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
 

103: 7 things i’d NEVER do again if i DATED now as a secure woman 🍷💐 (what to do instead)

…and the last one will shock you
7 Things I’d Do Differently If I Dated Now As a Secure Woman
 
How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text ❤️‍🩹📱
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
If you’ve ever met one guy on a dating app and your brain immediately built a whole 10-year love story in 48 hours… this episode is your new medicine.
I’m breaking down the 7 things I would do completely differently if I dated again - now that I’m securely attached and no longer chasing crumbs 💋ྀིྀི
Inside this episode, you’ll learn:
 
★ Why dating multiple people at once keeps you in CHOICE instead of obsession★ How dating slow protects you from falling for “potential”★ The reason secure women show up authentic fast, instead of performing★ Why I wait for emotional safety before ANY intimacy★ How to actually date head over heart (and stop confusing chaos for chemistry)★ What detached energy looks like when you’re not in scarcity anymore★ Why keeping your life the main event makes you more attractive instantly★ And the extra rule that would SHOCK old me:I don’t initiate or follow up after early dates - ever
 
If you want to attract a secure, emotionally available partner…If you’re tired of overthinking texts, panicking after dates, or getting attached to someone you barely know…If you want to date from your POWER and not your fear…This episode is your roadmap 
I’m sharing real stories, client examples, and the exact shifts that turn anxious dating into secure dating.This isn’t fluffy advice.These are the rules that create healthy, grounded, actual connection — not fantasy bonds.
 
🌷✨ Listen now if you want to stop chasing chemistry and start choosing compatibility.
 
1:1 Coaching Offers (via video calls or whatsapp)
https://tr.ee/PInPmy
 
 
Free Find your ANXIOUS Archetype NOW (to feel calmer)
https://tr.ee/9s05-v9M30
 
Free: Anxious to Secure Checklist
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist
 
FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ 
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
 
 
🖤 💆🏻‍♀️ How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text
(because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
 
▶️ Chapters:
00:00 Introduction to Secure Dating Tips00:34 7 Secure dating Tips (from an EX Anxious Attachment Girly)00:44 Dating tip #0103:57 Dating Tip #0206:44 Dating Tip #0308:40 Dating Tip #0409:55 Dating Tip #0511:41 Dating Tips #0613:41 Dating Tip #0717:23 Bonus Dating Tip #0822:06 Remember THIS
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
 
ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

102: the REAL cost of anxious attachment (listen before it’s too late) — what you don’t get back even if you become secure

🖤  ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
(because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.)
 
This episode might break your heart a little…
but YOU need this little wake up call (because I would have THANKED anyone at least later realising this...)
Because today I’m finally saying the part no one talks about.The part I wish someone told ME 10 years ago 🤎🔙
The REAL cost of anxious attachment 💔Not the cute Instagram version.The actual impact.On your body.On your relationships.On your future.On the YEARS you can’t get back.
 
 
I’m sharing the stories my clients whisper to me.The things they regret.The “I wish I knew this earlier” moments that always hit the deepest.And the hard truth I learned myself…after becoming securely attached.
Because anxious attachment isn’t just overthinking texts.It’s the rushing.The chest tightness.The stomach pain.The walking fast.The losing yourself in fear.The love you push away without realizing it.
I’ll walk you through:
the relationships people lose
the friendships they break
the years they spend chasing crumbs
the life paths they delay
the health issues no one connects to anxiety
the moments you can’t re-do
 
And then…we go into the HOPE.Because it’s not too late.Not at 25.Not at 35.Not at 55.Not even at 80.✨
You can STILL become secure.You can STILL feel calm.You can STILL create a life that feels like peace instead of panic.You can STILL rewrite your story.🖤✨
If you’ve ever thought:“I wasted so much time…”“I ruined the best relationship I ever had…”“I don’t trust myself anymore…”“I don’t want to spend the next 10 years like this…”Then this episode is for you.🤎✨
This is your wake-up moment.Your turning point.Your reminder that you deserve a life that feels soft, grounded, and safe.
Listen now.Your future self is begging you to.
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 The Journey to Secure Attachment01:10 The COST of anxious attachment you DON'T realise..07:43 The everyday impact of Anxious Attachment10:43 REAL life consequences that tear me up every time14:46 What anxious attachment STEALS forever from you15:35 What it takes to become secure18:03 So is it too late be become securely attached?
 
FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ 
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
1:1 Coaching Offers (via video calls or whatsapp)
https://tr.ee/PInPmy
 
Free Find your ANXIOUS Archetype NOW (to feel calmer)
https://tr.ee/9s05-v9M30
 
Free: Anxious to Secure Checklist
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
 
ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse