The Anxious To Secure PODCAST

16: ⚖️ When Relationships with Your Avoidant Partner feels one sided 🥹

⚖️ When Relationships with Your Avoidant Partner Feels One-Sided
 
🖤 Secure Self-Study Vault 🫶🏻🖤
 
Does this sound like you?
You feel like you’re pulling all the weight.
You’re trying to fix the relationship, but your partner withdraws even more.
The relationship feels so one-sided.
The more you try, the more they seem to slip away.
You know giving them space is key, but NOTHING changes.
If you’re nodding along, this episode is for YOU. ✨
I’m breaking down:
Should relationships really be 50/50?
Signs you might be focusing on the WRONG things.
How to shift the anxious-avoidant dynamic (and STOP the cycle).
PLUS, I’ll touch on when it’s time to break it off—especially if you’re only accepting breadcrumbs. 🖤 While many of you are in healthy relationships with avoidant partners, this part will help you decide if you’re not.
It’s a JUICY one, so hit play now! 🎧✨  Love, Jula
 
Resources:
🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
🤍 COACHING:
1:1 VIP SOS Session
🤍 FREE WORKSHEETS + DOWNLOADS:
Stop Being Needy Guide: 3 Steps
WORRY-FREE Flow Chart: Free Download
🤍 COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING 🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach

15: 👩🏻‍❤️‍👨🏻 Secure VS Insecure Attachment - How we React differently to triggers (Part 2)

🚩When your partner's mood is "off"
…and how EACH attachment style would react differently.
Did you ever wonder how a secure partner would react? 
This episode continues the Attachment Style  Guide— I’m talking through how EVERY attachment style reacts to triggers differently... super revealing:
You’ll learn:🖤 Why anxious attachment triggers might feel overwhelming🌻 How avoidant partners often shut down instead✨ What secure attachment reactions actually look like (and how to get there)📓 The role of childhood in shaping these reactions
This isn’t just about anxious attachment anymore—it’s about understanding how ALL styles respond to triggers. 
🎧 Listen Now
Love, Bye byeeJula
P.S. When you get where your triggers come from,
you’ll feel more in control and secure in your relationship 💡
 
✅ The Anxious To Secure CHECKLIST ✅
❗ 6 Signs you have Abandonment Fears ❗
🤍 Anxious Attachment Inventory Exercise 🤍
 
🤍 COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING 🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
🤍 COACHING:
1:1 VIP SOS Session 
 
☎️ 30min Ice-Breaker Chat (to see if coaching is right for you)
 

14: Do My Parents REALLY Create My🤱Anxious Attachment Style?

Today, I’m breaking down why your anxious attachment isn’t always about your parents. 🧠✨
🚨Spoiler Alert: You can have a good, peaceful childhood and STILL end up with an anxious attachment style.
If you’ve ever wondered, "Why the heck am I like this when my parents were great?" — this episode is for you.
We’ll talk:✨ The 2 BIG factors that shape attachment styles (beyond just parenting)🌻 10 Micro examples to help you connect the dots in YOUR life🖤 How understanding this helps you stop taking your partner’s words and actions so personally
P.S. If you're a parent, I’ll also share how you can avoid passing these attachment patterns on to your kids. 💡
Enjoy! 
 
🤍 Jump on the Anxious To Secure Waitlist and get my BLUEPRINT on how I became securely attached in just 6 months.
😱📱5 Steps to Handle It When Your Partner Doesn’t Text Back 
🖤🤍 3min Attachment Style QUIZ  👀
📱 Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
✍🏼 Free Anxious Attachment Roots Journal Prompts
🧘🏻‍♀️ WORRY-FREE Flow Chart: Free Download
 
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach
🤍 KICK off your Coaching Journey: 1:1 VIP SOS Session

13: Secure vs. Insecure Attachment–Your Attachment Guide (Part 1)

Ready to learn more about relationships? Start with the 3min Attachment Style QUIZ, to find out if you're secure or insecurely attached.
Ever wondered..
👩🏻‍❤️‍👨🏻 🧪 What is the Strange Experiment?
What has this to do with baby's attachment styles?
Ever found yourself asking WHY you react the way you do in relationships?
Or why your partner seems to get defensive over EVERYTHING you say?
It all comes down to attachment theory...
In today’s episode, I’ll break it all down for you:
What is attachment theory and why it matters
The difference between anxious, avoidant, secure, and disorganized attachment styles
How babies’ reactions reveal their attachment style (it’s SO powerful!)
How these styles show up in conflict and emotions
How your upbringing shapes the way you attach to others
Ready to uncover how YOUR attachment style shows up in your relationships? 
Here is a quick overview in depth:
00:00 Why Attachment Theory Matters06:40 What is Attachment Theory?07:37 The Strange Situation Experiment08:22 How to identify Babies attachment style 13:40 The Square Analogy (Explaining Attachment in 4 Quadrants)13:53 The Secure Attachment Style: Secure Sarah14:57 The Anxious Attachment Style: Anxious Annie16:32 The Avoidant Attachment Style: Avoidant Andi18:14 The Disorganised Attachment Style: Disorganised Danni19:43 Roots of Attachment Styles25:40 The Impact of Childhood on Relationships
Resources:
🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
🤍 COACHING:
1:1 VIP SOS Session
🤍 FREE WORKSHEETS + DOWNLOADS:
WORRY-FREE Flow Chart: Free Download
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're
🙋🏼‍♀️21 WAYS to STOP Abandoning yourself: Free Download
Anxious Attachment Inventory Exercise: Goal Setting
🤍 COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING 🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach

12: Does your Partner really "make you feel" anxious? 🧠✨

Feeling like your partner is the reason for your anxiety?
Here’s the truth: it’s not what he does, says, or should say or do—it’s the story you tell yourself about what it means. It’s ALWAYS our thoughts that create our emotions.
🚩 Examples:
"He didn’t text back—what if he’s pulling away?"
"He’s dressing up for work. Jenny’s there. Am I not enough?"
"He asked for space. Does that mean he doesn’t love me?"
These fears don’t come from your partner—they come from anxious attachment and abandonment wounds.
🔍 The Real Work:
Ask yourself: What am I making this mean?
Rewrite the story: “He needs space, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean he’s leaving.”
Choose thoughts that feel true and safe.
Start challenging your thoughts today—because peace starts inside YOU. 🧠✨
 
Grab your Free Instant Downloads here:
WORRY-FREE Flow Chart: Free Download
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're
💭 CHALLENGE 🔍 Your Thoughts - CHEAT SHEET To Stop Running On Autopilot
 
Go deeper:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
Coaching + Offers
 
Instagram:
Chat + Send in some Questions for the Podcast
@the.anxious.to.secure.coach/

11: 10 Micro Relationship GOALS: How to Become 1% more Secure every day

✨ How to Become 1% More Secure Every Day ✨
START HERE: 3min QUIZ: Find Your TOP 2 UNMET NEEDS: To stop sabotaging Yourself
Ever feel like “becoming secure” is just too big to figure out? You’re not alone. In this episode, I’m breaking it down with:
10 micro-goal examples like pausing before texting for reassurance or naming the story in your head.
How to stop overthinking and take small steps to feel calmer every day.
Simple ways to rewire anxious thoughts using neuroscience.
These tiny changes helped me heal my anxious attachment—now they can help you too! 💛
For example..
Pause for 10 minutes before texting your partner for reassurance and remind yourself, "I'm safe."
Name the story in your head, like “He’s pulling away because I’m not enough,” and ask, “Is this a fact or just a fear?”
Challenge fear-based thoughts by asking, “What’s the worst-case scenario? Is it true?” and replace them with neutral thoughts.
 
Find out how to feel a little more secure starting today...
 
3min QUIZ: Find Your TOP 2 UNMET NEEDS: To stop sabotaging Yourself
 
🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
 
🤍 COACHING:
1:1 VIP SOS Session
 
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/

10:🎙️"If I let go, I'll lose my partner" Relationship Myth

In Episode 10 of the Anxious to Secure Podcast, we dive into a powerful relationship myth:
the fear that giving your partner space might make them fall out of love with you. 🤯
(I used to believe this and it created a big disconnection between us...)
If you're feeling unfulfilled or anxious when you're not around your partner, or if you plan your time around their schedule, you're not alone.
Lets chat about why (for anxious overthinkers) it can feel so difficult to let go of that constant need to be near them and how it can trigger deep fears of abandonment
(and your partners wounds too of feeling trapped). ✨
But here's the truth:
More space doesn’t mean less love.
It can actually strengthen your bond and give you the freedom to thrive individually. 🌻
In this episode, I’ll share how these fears showed up in my own relationship and how breaking free from them led to a more secure, fulfilling connection.
 
Ready to break free from the anxiety loop? Let’s explore how you can give both yourself and your partner the space you need to grow. 🧠
 
🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
 
🤍 COACHING:
1:1 VIP SOS Session
 
🤍 FREE WORKSHEETS + DOWNLOADS:
😱📱 Grab Your Free Guide: 5 Steps to Handle It When Your Partner Doesn’t Text Back.
Find Your TOP 2 UNMET NEEDS: To stop sabotaging Yourself
Learn to REASSURE Yourself + STOP Chasing External Reassurance
Magnet 🧲 : Re-Attract Your Avoidant partner Again with this Formula
 
🤍 Mini-COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
 
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach/

09: Why 90% Fail at Relationship Goals & How to Be the Top 10%

Have you ever set a New Year’s resolution to “finally feel secure in your relationship” or overcome your anxiety, only to feel stuck by week two? You’re not alone.
In this episode of The Anxious to Secure Podcast
Why 90% Fail at Relationship Goals & How to Be the Top 10%
✨ Why BIG goals like “becoming securely attached” might actually sabotage you.✨ How to uncover your WHY for lasting change and overcome relationship anxiety.✨ Tools to work WITH your subconscious mind to create emotional security and confidence.✨ Practical strategies to break free from overthinking, people-pleasing, and emotional triggers.
💬 I’ve been in that anxious cycle too, and I’ll share personal stories and tools that helped me break free.
 
Love, Jula 
Your Anxious To Secure Coach
 
🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
 
🤍 COACHING:
1:1 VIP SOS Session
 
🤍 FREE WORKSHEETS + DOWNLOADS:
WORRY-FREE Flow Chart: Free Download
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're
😱📱 Grab Your Free Guide: 5 Steps to Handle It When Your Partner Doesn’t Text Back.
🔍💭Challenge your thoughts - CHEAT SHEET (a must if you want to break through your old stories)
 
🤍 COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING 🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
 
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach

08:🎙🤍MYTH. Your partner is NOT Your parent. STOP thinking they are supposed to take care of your needs. ⛔️🥤

🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
 
Let's bust another Relationship MYTH: "Your partner should take care of your needs like a parent. 👪⛔️"
TRUTH: Your partner isn’t responsible for fixing all your problems—or being your emotional caretaker.
Does this sound like you?❓ Do you vent, hoping they’ll fix everything?❓ Send long, emotional texts, needing them to “get it”?❓ Expect them to meet your emotional needs 24/7?
I get it—I used to do this too. 🖤But here’s what I learned: It’s my job to manage my emotions, not his. Once I embraced this, everything changed. Now I use my 4R Method to create balance—and it’s PURE FREEDOM. 🧘🏽‍♀️✨
Ready to stop feeling let down and start feeling secure from within? Tune in! 🎙
 
Grab your 📔 10 Journal Prompts That Transformed My Abandonment Fear (I swear by them)
 
Love, Jula xx 
🤍 COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
 
 
MORE FREE RESOURCES:
Challenge Your Thoughts CHEAT SHEET: To stop running on Auto-Pilot
Learn to REASSURE Yourself + STOP Chasing External Reassurance

07:🎄🧘🏻‍♀️The ANXIOUS Relationship Guide You Need to THRIVE, Not Just Survive the Holidays

Your Holiday RELATIONSHIP Anxiety Survival Kit (with a twist 🎄✨..hohoho)
Grab your free Boundary Toolkit HERE (for anxious and hypersensitive girlies and guys)
⋆✴︎˚｡⋆The holidays are supposed to feel magical, right?⋆✴︎˚｡⋆
But if you’re ANXIOUSLY attached like I was, they can be a minefield of spiraling emotions and unmet expectations.
In Episode 07 of The Anxious Relationship Guide, I’m giving you the tools to THRIVE—not just survive—this holiday season. 🌟
What we chat about:
★ Why your HIGH holiday expectations might sabotage your relationship (and what to do instead).★ Boundaries 101: How to actually set them and why they’re key for anxious attachers.★ A fun BINGO game (yes, BINGO!) that’ll completely flip how you handle triggers at holiday gatherings.
Plus:I’ll share my own holiday struggles and how I turned them into lessons that keep my relationship anxiety in check—even during family drama!
No matter when you listen—Christmas, Easter, or just a random Tuesday—this episode is packed with practical steps to help you feel CALMER and MORE SECURE during family-events and holidays. 🧘‍♀️✨ Enjoy, xx Jula
 
Don't Miss the Chance to go deeper here.
 
🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
 
🤍 COACHING:
1:1 VIP SOS Session
 
🤍 FREE WORKSHEETS + DOWNLOADS:
😱📱 Grab Your Free Guide: 5 Steps to Handle It When Your Partner Doesn’t Text Back.
Find Your TOP 2 UNMET NEEDS: To stop sabotaging Yourself
Challenge Your Thoughts CHEAT SHEET: To stop running on Auto-Pilot
Learn to REASSURE Yourself + STOP Chasing External Reassurance
Find YOUR ANXIOUS Archetype: To not SURVIVE but THRIVE in your Relationships
 
🤍 COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
 
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach