The Anxious To Secure PODCAST

104: Put yourself FIRST this Christmas 🎄🎀 how DE-CENTERING your partner can actually bring you closer

💛 Free Stuff
Quick 3-min Attachment Quiz(Know your type so you do the right work)
➞ Take Quiz: https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
Free Attachment Library(30+ worksheets, downloads, guides, flow-charts, prompts, videos, etc)
➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
💎 Courses
ON SALE: ✨ Stop *FINALLY* Obsessing Over Texts (because YOU're BRIAN is the one creating YOUR anxiety,
NOT how they communicate with you)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
ON SALE: ✨ How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in  only 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner...because every minute you're imagining HIM leaving, you're manifesting it, as you're brain can't tell the difference between imagining and REAL.)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
💬 Work 1:1 with Me
Personal Coaching(Shift anxious attachment & reclaim your energy)
➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy
WhatsApp Coaching(Daily support + check-ins straight to your phone)
➞ Start Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
Feeling anxious, overlooked, or way too focused on your partner this Christmas? 🎄This episode shows you why putting yourself FIRST is the thing that actually brings your partner closer… not further away.
If you’ve been carrying the whole holiday on your shoulders…If you’re replaying his texts…If you’re trying to “make Christmas perfect” so he doesn’t pull away…this is the episode you’ve been needing. 
You’ll hear the truth about what happens when you stop centering him…and start centering YOU.
 
You’ll learn:🎁 why your nervous system is so triggered during the holidays☕️ why your anxious brain wants him to fix everything🎄 how de-centering him stops the chasing cycle🕯 how boundaries actually create connection🧣 how micro-traditions make you feel grounded again💛 why focusing on your own joy makes you more magnetic, not “selfish”
 
This is for you if you’re tired of:✨ waiting for him to make plans✨ walking on eggshells around his mood✨ feeling like Christmas depends on how much he shows up✨ shrinking yourself so you don’t “ruin the vibe”
Inside this episode, you’ll get the deeper WHY behind all of it...the attachment science, the anxious-avoidant patterns, the nervous-system pieceall explained in simple, calm, friend-to-friend language. ✨🧣
You’ll hear the exact steps to:✨ regulate YOUR body first✨ create micro-joy without waiting for him✨ set boundaries without guilt✨ build traditions that center you✨ stop chasing, over-functioning, and people-pleasing
 
And yes… we talk about the magic part:how de-centering him is what actually makes him come closer.Not because you’re playing a game…but because you’re finally full, calm, grounded, and in your own power. ✨🎄
If you want a lighter Christmas…a calmer body…a deeper connection without pressure…and a relationship that feels less like survival mode…this episode is your reset.
Let it play while you wrap gifts, take a walk in the cold air ❄️,
light a candle, drink your warm coffee ☕️and feel the pressure melt off your body little by little.
And if this hits home and you want help healing your anxious attachment…my 1:1 coaching and entry-level offers are open.You don’t have to spend another Christmas feeling like you’re “not enough.” 
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Putting Yourself First This Christmas01:06 1. You can create magic without him04:15 2. Boundaries are love12:14 3. Regulate your nervous system first13:36 4. Micro-traditions that center YOU17:52 5. Decentering him actually brings you closer19:19 Closing pep note
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
 

103: 7 things i’d NEVER do again if i DATED now as a secure woman 🍷💐 (what to do instead)

…and the last one will shock you
7 Things I’d Do Differently If I Dated Now As a Secure Woman
 
How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text ❤️‍🩹📱
https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety
 
If you’ve ever met one guy on a dating app and your brain immediately built a whole 10-year love story in 48 hours… this episode is your new medicine.
I’m breaking down the 7 things I would do completely differently if I dated again - now that I’m securely attached and no longer chasing crumbs 💋ྀིྀི
Inside this episode, you’ll learn:
 
★ Why dating multiple people at once keeps you in CHOICE instead of obsession★ How dating slow protects you from falling for “potential”★ The reason secure women show up authentic fast, instead of performing★ Why I wait for emotional safety before ANY intimacy★ How to actually date head over heart (and stop confusing chaos for chemistry)★ What detached energy looks like when you’re not in scarcity anymore★ Why keeping your life the main event makes you more attractive instantly★ And the extra rule that would SHOCK old me:I don’t initiate or follow up after early dates - ever
 
If you want to attract a secure, emotionally available partner…If you’re tired of overthinking texts, panicking after dates, or getting attached to someone you barely know…If you want to date from your POWER and not your fear…This episode is your roadmap 
I’m sharing real stories, client examples, and the exact shifts that turn anxious dating into secure dating.This isn’t fluffy advice.These are the rules that create healthy, grounded, actual connection — not fantasy bonds.
 
🌷✨ Listen now if you want to stop chasing chemistry and start choosing compatibility.
 
1:1 Coaching Offers (via video calls or whatsapp)
https://tr.ee/PInPmy
 
 
Free Find your ANXIOUS Archetype NOW (to feel calmer)
https://tr.ee/9s05-v9M30
 
Free: Anxious to Secure Checklist
https://www.julanoelle.com/anxioustosecurechecklist
 
FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ (join 4K others)
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
 
 
🖤 💆🏻‍♀️ How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text
(because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.)
https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety
 
 
▶️ Chapters:
00:00 Introduction to Secure Dating Tips00:34 7 Secure dating Tips (from an EX Anxious Attachment Girly)00:44 Dating tip #0103:57 Dating Tip #0206:44 Dating Tip #0308:40 Dating Tip #0409:55 Dating Tip #0511:41 Dating Tips #0613:41 Dating Tip #0717:23 Bonus Dating Tip #0822:06 Remember THIS
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
 
ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner)
https://www.julanoelle.com/overthinkingcourse

102: the REAL cost of anxious attachment (listen before it’s too late) — what you don’t get back even if you become secure

🖤  ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text
https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety
(because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.)
 
 
FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ (join 4K others)
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
This episode might break your heart a little…
but YOU need this little wake up call (because I would have THANKED anyone at least later realising this...)
Because today I’m finally saying the part no one talks about.The part I wish someone told ME 10 years ago 🤎🔙
The REAL cost of anxious attachment 💔Not the cute Instagram version.The actual impact.On your body.On your relationships.On your future.On the YEARS you can’t get back.
 
 
I’m sharing the stories my clients whisper to me.The things they regret.The “I wish I knew this earlier” moments that always hit the deepest.And the hard truth I learned myself…after becoming securely attached.
Because anxious attachment isn’t just overthinking texts.It’s the rushing.The chest tightness.The stomach pain.The walking fast.The losing yourself in fear.The love you push away without realizing it.
I’ll walk you through:
the relationships people lose
the friendships they break
the years they spend chasing crumbs
the life paths they delay
the health issues no one connects to anxiety
the moments you can’t re-do
 
And then…we go into the HOPE.Because it’s not too late.Not at 25.Not at 35.Not at 55.Not even at 80.✨
You can STILL become secure.You can STILL feel calm.You can STILL create a life that feels like peace instead of panic.You can STILL rewrite your story.🖤✨
If you’ve ever thought:“I wasted so much time…”“I ruined the best relationship I ever had…”“I don’t trust myself anymore…”“I don’t want to spend the next 10 years like this…”Then this episode is for you.🤎✨
This is your wake-up moment.Your turning point.Your reminder that you deserve a life that feels soft, grounded, and safe.
Listen now.Your future self is begging you to.
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 The Journey to Secure Attachment01:10 The COST of anxious attachment you DON'T realise..07:43 The everyday impact of Anxious Attachment10:43 REAL life consequences that tear me up every time14:46 What anxious attachment STEALS forever from you15:35 What it takes to become secure18:03 So is it too late be become securely attached?
 
FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ 
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
1:1 Coaching Offers (via video calls or whatsapp)
https://tr.ee/PInPmy
 
Free Find your ANXIOUS Archetype NOW (to feel calmer)
https://tr.ee/9s05-v9M30
 
Free: Anxious to Secure Checklist
https://www.julanoelle.com/anxioustosecurechecklist
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
 
ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

101: What does a Secure person do 🧘🏼‍♀️ when an Avoidant Pulls away

🖤 ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner)
https://www.julanoelle.com/overthinkingcourse
 
🖤  ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text
(because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.)
https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety
 
Ever feel like the SECOND your partner pulls away… your whole nervous system goes into full panic mode? 🖤✨Like one canceled plan… one quiet day… one shift in tone… suddenly feels like the whole relationship is falling apart?
I made this episode for you.
Inside, I walk you through EXACT real-life moments my clients faced — the moments that used to send them into overthinking, people-pleasing, chasing, and feeling “not enough.”
And then I show you how the secure version of you would handle those exact same moments.Simple. Calm. Clear. No drama. No chasing. Just grounded self-trust.
You’ll hear:
★ What an anxious person does when someone cancels plans last minute★ What a secure person does instead — even if it stings★ How closeness freaks out your nervous system (not them)★ Why avoidants pull away after intimacy★ How to stop taking every shift personally★ How secure people communicate… without fear★ The small, everyday habits that turn anxious attachment into earned secure attachment
 
This isn’t a lecture.It’s literally the blueprint to becoming the secure version of you... the version who doesn’t panic, doesn’t chase, doesn’t assume the worst… and doesn’t lose herself just because someone else needs space.
We’ll dive into:
➞ The FACTS vs. the stories your anxious brain makes up➞ Why your body reacts like danger is coming (even when it’s not)➞ How to soothe the panic BEFORE you text➞ How to respond like someone who trusts themselves➞ How to stop abandoning yourself when someone pulls back
And I’ll walk you through my 4R Method... the exact steps that helped me go from anxious and terrified of being left… to fully grounded and secure in myself and my relationship.
If you’re tired of feeling on edge, tired of overthinking the smallest things, tired of feeling like your partner’s mood controls your whole day…
This episode will feel like a deep breath.Like someone holding your hand and saying,
“Hey… you’re not crazy. You’re just scared. And here’s how we fix it.” 🖤✨
Listen in and tell me which “anxious vs. secure” moment hit home for you.
 
 
FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ 
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
1:1 Coaching Offers (via video calls or whatsapp)
https://tr.ee/PInPmy
 
Free Find your ANXIOUS Archetype NOW (to feel calmer)
https://tr.ee/9s05-v9M30
 
Free: Anxious to Secure Checklist
https://www.julanoelle.com/anxioustosecurechecklist
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 What does a Secure person do when an Avoidant Pulls away02:52 ✶ SCENARIO 1: They cancel plans last minute09:24 ✶ SCENARIO 2: They go quiet after an intimate weekend15:44 ✶ SCENARIO 3: They’re distant during a hard week19:05 ✶ SCENARIO 4: The Long-Term Pull-Away Avoidant26:00 What’s REALLY Going On?29:43 What To Do Instead
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
 
 

100: Here are 5 WINNING skills my clients used to→ become securely attached FASTER than they thought possible.

Free: Anxious to Secure Checklist
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist
Feeling anxious in your relationship? Always worried about texts, attention, or being enough? You’re not alone. 😬
In this episode, I share 5 skills my clients used to go from anxious attachment to secure attachment style, feeling calm, confident, and safe in themselves and their relationships. ✨
 
Here’s a sneak peek:➞ How noticing your feelings and taking action helped them stop overthinking➞ Why letting yourself feel scared or frustrated actually made them stronger➞ How making themselves happy first shifted their power and confidence➞ Why taking space without panicking made their connection closer➞ How small, consistent daily actions helped them feel unshakable
These aren’t “just breathe” tips—they’re simple, real skills that helped my clients go from anxious to securely attached faster than they ever thought possible
 
If you want to finally stop the worry, feel safe, and build earned secure attachment in your relationship… this episode is for you. 🖤🧠
 
Free Find your ANXIOUS Archetype NOW (to feel calmer)
https://tr.ee/9s05-v9M30
 
🖤 ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
🖤  ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text
(because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
1:1 Coaching Offers (via video calls or whatsapp)
https://tr.ee/PInPmy
 
CHAPTER:
00:00 5 SKILLS to become securely attached00:44 01 Self-Awareness like a BOSS (not hyper-vigilance)10:08 02 They Stopped Fighting Their Feelings21:19 03 Fulfilling Their Own Needs FIRST28:18 04 Taking Space Without Overthinking37:36 05 Consistency Over Perfection42:58 BONUS Skill
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
 

99: *3 avoidant* core wounds you NEED to know why he shut downs (it's not personal)

🖤 FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ 
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
Have you ever felt confused, frustrated, or even hurt because your partner seems distant, cancels plans, or shuts down emotionally — even when you know they care? 🖤✨
In this episode, we dive into what really drives avoidant behavior. Why do some people pull away the moment things feel too close? Why do they seem to love you but still keep their distance?
You’ll get insights into the hidden fears and early experiences that shape how avoidants handle intimacy, emotions, and closeness.. and how you can respond in ways that stop the cycle of frustration and overthinking.
💎 By the end, you’ll start noticing patterns you never saw before, feel less like you’re doing something “wrong,” and understand how your reactions can either calm or trigger their core fears.
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Understanding the Avoidant Attachments Style: Core wounds02:47 Core wound 01: I am trapped06:41 Core Wound 02: I am Bad (Defective)11:29 Core wound 03: I am losing control15:40 Quick Summary16:32 Homework for the Anxious Attachment Partner: ✨📝
 
 
🖤 ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner)
https://www.julanoellecom/overthinkingcourse
 
🖤  ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text
(because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.)
https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety
 
1:1 Coaching Offers (via video calls or whatsapp)
https://tr.ee/PInPmy
 
Free Find your ANXIOUS Archetype NOW (to feel calmer)
https://tr.ee/9s05-v9M30
 
Free: Anxious to Secure Checklist
https://www.julanoelle.com/anxioustosecurechecklist
 
Free Quiz: Find your top 2 Relationship needs 
(before your subconscious will sabotage you by meeting it in unhealthy ways, through like overthinking, clinging too hard to chasing)
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/needs
 
#avoidantattachment #anxiousavoidantrelationship #emotionalsafety

98: *3 hidden* anxious attachment wounds ❤️‍🩹 WHY they keep YOU anxious

🖤 FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ 
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
Do you catch yourself panicking when your partner doesn’t text back, rearranging your life to stay close, or feeling like love is a game you have to earn? 🖤✨
This episode uncovers why your mind goes into overdrive in relationships, replaying fears, doubts, and “what ifs.” Why does a simple text delay feel like abandonment?
Why do you overgive, over-apologize, or shrink yourself just to feel secure?
We’ll explore the hidden patterns and past experiences that secretly shape how you respond to love today... and what shifts can help you finally feel safe, worthy, and capable without depending on your partner for validation.
💎 You’ll walk away understanding your triggers, seeing how your past keeps replaying itself, and learning the first steps to stop overthinking and start feeling secure in love.
 
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Understanding Anxious Attachment and Core Beliefs03:55 Core Wound 1: I Am Not Safe12:54 Core Wound 2: I Am Not Worthy of Love20:25 Core Wound 3: I Am Not Capable25:11 How else the wounds can show up (personal story)26:28 Homework to start rewiring your wounds
 
#anxiousattachment #limitingbelief #emotionaltriggers
 
🖤 ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
🖤  ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text
(because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
1:1 Coaching Offers (via video calls or whatsapp)
https://tr.ee/PInPmy
 
Free Find your ANXIOUS Archetype NOW (to feel calmer)
https://tr.ee/9s05-v9M30
 
Free: Anxious to Secure Checklist
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.
This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

97: *5 surprising* things my 😯 Avoidant Partner taught me about love, life and anxiety

⚠️ Warning: After this episode, you might 01 fall in love with an avoidant or 02 see them through a completely different lens.Because what I’m about to share may change how you see avoidants forever 🤍🧠
🖤 FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ 
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
If you’ve ever felt like the avoidant in your life is cold, distant, confusing, or hard to love… this episode will soften something inside you.
I’m sharing 5 unexpected lessons my avoidant partner taught me that actually helped me feel safer, calmer, more confident, and more SECURE in love.
And yes... this episode is about the good parts of avoidants.Because avoidants are not the villains here.They are humans with a completely different survival strategy.
This isn’t an “avoidants are toxic” conversation.It’s the episode that shows you the side no one talks about:
The parts of avoidants that make love gentle, grounding, freeing, magical…The parts that can grow you in ways you never expected.The parts your anxious brain might not see yet because fear is so loud.
If you’ve found yourself late-night googling things like:
“Why does my avoidant partner pull away after getting close?”
“How do avoidants show love if they don’t express it like I do?”
“Why do avoidants disappear then come back?”
 
This episode will give you answers but also a new perspective that feels like exhaling.
We’ll talk about how avoidants love differently, why space is not rejection, how to stop taking distance personally, and how understanding them can actually calm your nervous system instead of trigger it.
By the end, you’ll walk away with:
🤍 a softer view of avoidants🤍 more empathy (for them and for you)🤍 5 mindset shifts that bring REAL peace to your relationship
Not by abandoning yourself.Not by shrinking.But by seeing the relationship dynamic with truth instead of fear.
This episode gives you the perspective that finally lets the anxious-avoidant dynamic feel less like war and more like two humans trying to feel safe in very different ways.
If you’re tired of demonizing avoidants or battling them… and you’re ready to understand the GOOD they bring too… this one is going to land deeply.
Stay until the end.. I’ll give you simple steps to feel more secure today, without chasing or overthinking.
Ready to see avoidants with new eyes?Let’s shift the narrative.. and maybe your heart too 🤍🧠✨
 
🖤 ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
🖤  ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text
(because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
1:1 Coaching Offers (via video calls or whatsapp)
https://tr.ee/PInPmy
 
Free Find your ANXIOUS Archetype NOW (to feel calmer)
https://tr.ee/9s05-v9M30
 
Free: Anxious to Secure Checklist
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist
 
Free Quiz: Find your top 2 Relationship needs 
(before your subconscious will sabotage you by meeting it in unhealthy ways, through like overthinking, clinging too hard to chasing)
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/needs
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Why Your Avoidant Partner might be an inspiration03:00 01 – Stop taking it personally 🖤07:57 02 – Being selfish isn’t selfish13:01 03 – Lightness, fun, and adventure ✨18:53 04 – STOP trusting others so fast ★24:41 05 – "Cutify" your fears 📓30:04 Mini Summary30:52 Your Homework
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

96: Q+A From anxious to SECURE: My attachment healing journey (before & after)

🖤 FREE Attachment LIBRARY (30+worksheets, prompts, quizzes and more)
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
🖤 FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ 
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
I’m spilling a secret today… 🖤
Recently, I filled out a survey for people who’ve earned a secure attachment, and it asked questions that cut straight to the heart of how we actually get there.
What changed, what worked, and what no one tells you about leaving anxious patterns behind.
I decided to share my answers with you.. everything I revealed about my journey from anxious to secure.
The things I did daily, the mindset shifts, and the practices that rewired my nervous system so I could stop spiraling over texts, stop over-giving, and finally feel safe in love.
If you’ve ever wondered why you attract avoidants, why your anxious brain can’t stop catastrophizing, or how it actually feels to go from panicking in love to calm, grounded, and confident, this episode is your insider look.
Think of it as me giving you my secret roadmap, the exact insights I shared with a survey of people who’ve done the work and truly become secure.
 
 
🖤 ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
🖤  ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text
(because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
1:1 Coaching Offers (via video calls or whatsapp)
https://tr.ee/PInPmy
 
Free Find your ANXIOUS Archetype NOW (to feel calmer)
https://tr.ee/9s05-v9M30
 
Free: Anxious to Secure Checklist
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist
 
Free Quiz: Find your top 2 Relationship needs 
(before your subconscious will sabotage you by meeting it in unhealthy ways, through like overthinking, clinging too hard to chasing)
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/needs
 
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Understanding Attachment Styles01:04 What is Attachment Theory and Why does it matter?06:25 Going deeper into the ANXIOUS attachment style...10:09 10 Question about Healing my Anxious Attachment10:38 1: What changed when you became more secure?12:30 2: Does it feel different to be attracted to someone now?14:40 3: What were the key turning points or breakthroughs in your transition?19:47 4: What was the biggest barrier or challenge you had to overcome?23:01 5: What specific actions or strategies did you take to shift from insecure to secure?25:31 6: Which strategies were most effective?26:08 7: How did your relationships change?29:38 8: What mindset or belief shifts happened during your transformation?30:23 9: How did you cultivate self-regulation and self-soothing?32:43 10: How do you maintain secure attachment daily now?34:53 Bonus Question (busting the biggest MYTHS)
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
 

95: 6 feminine 🎀༘ MICRO habits to heal your Anxious Attachment style PART 02

Welcome back to back 02:
Do you ever check your phone twice just to make sure they didn’t ignore your last text?Over-plan a date, then feel stressed when it doesn’t go perfectly?Rehearse what to say next instead of actually being in the moment?
There’s nothing wrong with you. 🖤Your nervous system has just learned to protect you — and right now, it’s overworking.
In this episode, I share tiny daily habits that help you step out of survival mode and feel safe in love again.No overthinking. No chasing. No controlling outcomes. Just calm, soft, grounded energy that feels secure.
You’ll learn:✨ Why anxious attachment is actually wounded masculine energy (and how to shift back into your feminine flow)✨ Tiny nervous system habits that calm your anxiety in real time✨ How to detach from outcomes, timelines, and “I need to be married by X” pressure✨ How to create micro-moments of feminine joy that rewire your brain for safety and trust
Because anxious attachment is about control — and you can’t feel safe while you’re controlling.Safety comes from detaching, softening, and trusting.
By the end, you’ll understand the nervous system “why” behind your anxious patterns — and have practical ways to regulate your body, not just your thoughts. 🌻
 
Inside this episode, I also share my 4R Method — the exact process I used to go from anxious to secure.It’s simple, real, and it works.
You’ll walk away knowing how to:— Feel and release anxiety safely— Rewire limiting beliefs like “I’m too much” or “People always leave”— Meet your needs without over-giving— Build calm, secure connection that lasts
✶ New episodes every Tuesday + ThursdaySubscribe so you don’t miss the next one 🖤
If you loved this episode, screenshot it, tag me on Instagram, and tell me which habit you’re trying first!
 
 
🖤 ON SALE:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
🖤  ON SALE: TEXT ANXIETY COURSE
How to STOP needing so much reassurance via TEXT
(because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Healing Anxious Attachment with feminine micro habits01:29 Understanding Energies: Masculine vs. Feminine03:50 Micro Habit 1: Practice Receiving06:20 Micro Habit 2: Embrace Imperfection09:15 Micro Habit 3: Slow Down Mentally14:17 Micro Habit 4: Detach from Outcomes and Timelines18:13 Micro Habit 5: Create Feminine Joy Moments22:33 Micro Habit 6: Create White Space26:45 the KEY message28:33 why Healing Anxious Attachment MATTERS31:47 My 4R Method to go from Anxious to Secure35:22 Consequences of Unhealed Attachment Styles
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.