The Anxious To Secure PODCAST

29: WATCH THIS before you CHASE your partner's VALIDATION: 7 Powerful Steps to STOP Being Insecure in Relationships

Are you a CHASER and your partner is ESCAPING (= pulling away and withdrawing)?
Then...
WATCH THIS before you CHASE your partner's validation: 7 POWERFUL Steps to STOP Being Insecure in Relationships 🔥
Because if you need a lot of approval, validation or reassurance... then we need to talk. THIS will trigger your (Avoidant) Partner's Core wounds of "help I'm losing independence"
Do you worry you're not good enough? This video reveals the exact process to break free from relationship insecurity once and for all.
I share my personal journey from constant validation-seeking to genuine confidence, including how gaining 20 kilos unexpectedly transformed my relationship with myself. Learn why your attachment patterns are sabotaging your connections and pushing partners away.
The 7-Step Insecurity Neutralizer that actually works:
Identify your specific triggers 🔍
Recognize your attachment patterns 🏷️
Connect to your past wounds 🔗
Challenge your limiting beliefs 🤔
Reframe your self-worth narrative 📝
Anchor yourself with positive emotions 🌬️
Take aligned action instead of seeking approval 👣
Discover why avoidant partners pull away when you chase validation and how to create a healthy dynamic instead. This isn't about temporary confidence fixes—it's about permanent transformation from insecurity to genuine self-worth.
 
LIBRARY
 Attachment ✎ᝰ.Self-Study Vault 🫶🏻❤️‍🩹 (worksheets, guides, downloads, etc)
 
📢 ON SALE 📢 
 🖤 Attachment 101 Master Guide 🖤(👀 Anxious spin to Secure within)
TEXT ANXIETY - How to STOP obsessing over their text in 21 days or less (it's never about the text..)Mini Course:
STOP OVERTHINKING Your Relationship with your AVOIDANT Partner in 4 STEPS Mini Course:
 
FREE STUFF
🎧💌📖 FREE COURSE: How to stop overthinking in Your relationships 
21 WAYS to download the 🙋🏼‍♀️21 WAYS to STOP Abandoning yourself 
The Worry-Free Flow-Chart for Relationship Anxiety
Self Esteem KIT to learn to be GOOD ENOUGH, lovable and worthy from within
Stop Chasing Reassurance in 4 Steps
#howtoStopbeinginsecure #StopChasingValidation #AttachmentTheory #SelfWorth

28: How to Stop Being JEALOUS & COMPARING Yourself (Social Media, His Ex, TV & More) Around Your AVOIDANT Partner

Take my Free 3 MIN Attachment Style QUIZ Now.
Are you struggling with relationship insecurity and worried your partner is comparing YOU to women on screen or in real life?
I've got you.
In this episode of the Anxious to Secure Podcast, discover the ROOT CAUSES of jealousy and comparison that nobody talks about!
Learn why you feel triggered by social media, his ex, or perfect bodies on TV, and how to FINALLY overcome these painful emotions.
and why jealousy NOT about your partner or the women...and more about YOU and your anxious attachment style.
This episode features a vulnerable listener question about dealing with PTSD and anxiety related to watching romantic tv scenes with her boyfriend.
She shares her past trauma and distrust with a partner who hid watching adult content and her Christian upbringing that taught men "couldn't control their thoughts." Now she fears her current partner will compare her to women on TV despite his reassurance.
I share transformative insights on:
Why jealousy reveals YOUR unworthiness wounds (not your partner's behavior)
How to stop comparing yourself to other women and break free from competition
Practical techniques to be more secure and confident in your relationship
Overcoming insecurity and building unshakable self-worth
Developing an abundance mindset that ends the comparison trap
Setting healthy boundaries with an avoidant partner
Healing the anxious attachment patterns fueling your jealousy
Strategies to stop feeling jealous and insecure around your partner or other women
Breaking the cycle of comparing yourself to his ex, people on tv or social media
If you're tired of feeling jealous, insecure, and constantly comparing yourself to others on social media or in real life, this episode is your roadmap to freedom. Learn how to transform jealousy into self-love and stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Perfect for anyone with an anxious attachment style who wants to feel more secure, confident, and worthy in their relationships. Stop letting jealousy control your emotions and sabotage your happiness!
 
LIBRARY
 Attachment ✎ᝰ.Self-Study Vault 🫶🏻❤️‍🩹 (worksheets, guides, downloads, etc)
 
📢 ON SALE 📢 
 🖤 Attachment 101 Master Guide 🖤(👀 Anxious spin to Secure within)
TEXT ANXIETY - How to STOP obsessing over their text in 21 days or less (it's never about the text..)Mini Course:
STOP OVERTHINKING Your Relationship with your AVOIDANT Partner in 4 STEPS Mini Course:
 
FREE STUFF
🎧💌📖 FREE COURSE: How to stop overthinking in Your relationships 
21 WAYS to download the 🙋🏼‍♀️21 WAYS to STOP Abandoning yourself 
The Worry-Free Flow-Chart for Relationship Anxiety
Self Esteem KIT to learn to be GOOD ENOUGH, lovable and worthy from within
 
 

27: How to Heal your 🖤 Anxious Attachment style (FAST) - Part 2

🖤 How to HEAL Your Anxious Attachment Style (PART 2) | From Anxious to Secure Attachment
You loved Part 1 SO much (our most downloaded episode ever!) and I know you've been waiting for this one...
In this episode, I'm sharing:
The ONE shift that stops the anxiety spiral ✨
Why it's so hard to stop depending on others (and what actually works)
How your brain can literally rewire for security
3 real habits that changed everything for me 🖤
Plus: The eye-opening moment in my tiny London apartment that made me realize why focusing on my partner was keeping me stuck
This one's for you if:
You're anxiously attached and over it
You can't feel okay unless they're okay
You want real change, not just band-aids
You're ready to choose yourself 🤍
Plus: My story about finally understanding my anxious attachment (and what changed everything)
If you're ready to stop feeling anxious and start feeling secure, this one's for you 🤍
Readyyy?
 
For YOU:
Say Hi On YOUTUBE + Request topics: @theanxioustosecurecoach
 Attachment ✎ᝰ.Self-Study Vault 🫶🏻❤️‍🩹 (worksheets, guides, downloads, etc)
📢 ON SALE: 🖤 Attachment 101 Master Guide 🖤(👀 Anxious spin to Secure within)
 
🎧💌📖 FREE COURSE: How to stop overthinking in Your relationships 
25 free resources and worksheets...
 
Take my Free 3 MIN Attachment Style QUIZ Now.
 
Chapters:
00:00 How to Heal Your Anxious Attachment Style (FAST) Part 200:27 How I healed my Anxious Attachment Style 5 Years Ago00:56 The One Focus Area for Shifting Your Attachment Style: From Them to You01:36 How long does it take to Heal Your Anxious Attachment Style?02:50 The One Focus Area for Shifting Your Attachment Style: From Them to You06:06 How to DETACH emotionally and WHY it's SO HARD08:53 Why Repetition and Emotion Are the Key to Shifting Your Attachment Style15:39 The One Focus Area for Shifting Your Attachment Style: From Them to You18:16 Building 3 Habits for Secure Attachment22:48 Thought habits22:50 Transforming Thoughts and Emotions24:36 Emotional Habit: Process Your Emotions ⚡26:37 Action Habit: Set Boundaries and Express Yourself 🌈29:25 Final Words

26: Why Your Partner seems 'Too Busy' and doesn’t make time for YOU (What do to)

Take my Free 3 MIN Attachment Style QUIZ Now.
Why Your Partner SEEMS 'Too Busy' and doesn’t make time for you (WHAT do to) and you not feel like a priority? Been there "healed" that!
You're giving it your ALL, but your partner seems more interested in... well, everything else? 🤔
Their phone 📱, video games 🎮, friends 👥 - while you're left wondering why a simple coffee date feels impossible to plan? ☕
Based on YOUR messages and DMs this week (thank you for sharing! 🙏), I knew we needed to talk about this.
In today's Anxious to Secure PODCAST episode for everyone who wants to neal their anxious attachment style I'm sharing something that completely changed how I view "busy" partners (and honestly, it might surprise you). 🤯 we go deep into attachment theory, core wounds..not just about Anxious Attachment but also in understanding your Avoidants Partners style much deeper...
Because that pit in your stomach when they choose PlayStation over quality time? I've been there, and what I discovered changed everything. ✨
If you're tired of:
Feeling like an afterthought in their schedule ⏰
Getting the "boring" version while their friends get the fun side 😕
Watching them scroll on their phone while you crave connection 💔
...then what I'm about to share might be exactly what you need to hear. 🎯
This isn't about making them change - it's about understanding what's really going on (hint: it has nothing to do with your worth! ) and how to feel secure even when they need space. 🦋
Join me to discover the FARE framework that transformed my relationship from anxiety to security in just 6 months. ⭐
Because you deserve to feel like a priority, without the constant overthinking. 💫
Love, Jula Your Anxious to Secure Relationship Coach for ambitious Overthinkers.
 
 Attachment ✎ᝰ.Self-Study Vault 🫶🏻❤️‍🩹 (worksheets, guides, downloads, etc)
📢 ON SALE: 🖤 Attachment 101 Master Guide 🖤(👀 Anxious spin to Secure within)
 
🎧💌📖 FREE COURSE: How to stop overthinking in Your relationships 
21 WAYS to download the 🙋🏼‍♀️21 WAYS to STOP Abandoning yourself 
The Worry-Free Flow-Chart for Relationship Anxiety
Self Esteem KIT to learn to be GOOD ENOUGH, lovable and worthy from within

25: Is THERAPY really the best tool for Healing your Anxious Attachment Style?

💬 "I've been in therapy for YEARS, spent thousands (some even up to $14,000!), and I still feel anxious in my relationship. Why am I not getting better?"
So my Anxious attached clients and I asked myself: Is THERAPY really the best tool for Healing your Anxious Attachment Style?
AND I get it, and trust me, I’ve been there. 
 
📢 ON SALE: 🖤 Attachment 101 Master Guide 🖤(👀Anxious spin to Secure within)
 
Therapy can be incredibly powerful…helping you unpack childhood wounds, bringing awareness to your patterns, and even offering relief. 
BUT... awareness alone doesn’t always change behavior.
 
So, in today’s episode of 
The Anxious to Secure PODCAST we're talking about…
🔸 When therapy is helpful🔸 When it might NOT be enough🔸 And what the missing piece actually is
 
How to stop overthinking in Your relationships : FREE mini Course
 
DON'T MISS OUT ON THIS...
FREE Helpful Resources To Go from Anxious TO secure, step by step...
 
STOP Chasing Your Partners Reassurance (Free Recourse) - MY 4R METHOD For Reassurance
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety
✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached
🚩🚩🚩10 Signs YOU are the Red Flag in your Relationship
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
 
00:027 Myth: Therapy is the best and only tool for healing your Anxious Attachment03:06 What Therapy Actually Does for Anxious Attachment04:16 The Missing Piece: Why Awareness Alone Isn’t Enough05:19 Why Therapy Can Feel Like It’s Not Working06:21 Healing Requires More Than Just Talking09:15 The REAL Process for Healing Anxious Attachment13:54 My personal CBT Therapy Experience17:45 When Therapy Might Be the Best Option18:36 Why Coaching + Emotional Mastery Might Be More Effective Than Therapy

24: Anxious Attachment and Long Distance Relationship Anxiety

If you’re in a long-distance relationship (or about to be) and your brain is going wild with overthinking—especially if you have an anxious attachment style… this episode is for you.
I’m answering REAL questions from someone on Instagram (thanks again for sharing 💛), like:🔹 How do I stop overthinking and spiraling?🔹 How do I calm my nervous system when I’m triggered?🔹 How do I deal with needing reassurance ALL the time in an LDR?
Because let’s be real—long-distance + anxious attachment? It can feel like a NIGHTMARE. But it doesn’t have to be.
In this episode, I’ll walk you through:🔸 How to manage a long-distance relationship without anxiety taking over🔸 What’s really happening in your brain when you’re triggered🔸 Tools to feel more secure (without over-relying on your partner)
If you’ve ever felt like LDR is impossible for someone with anxious attachment… you need this episode.
Plus, I’m sharing my personal story—back when I felt anxious in an LDR and how my anxious attachment made it even harder.
 
 Attachment ✎ᝰ.Self-Study Vault 🫶🏻❤️‍🩹 (worksheets, guides, downloads, etc)
📢 ON SALE: 🖤 Attachment 101 Master Guide 🖤(👀 Anxious spin to Secure within)
 
🎧💌📖 FREE COURSE: How to stop overthinking in Your relationships 
 
21 WAYS to download the 🙋🏼‍♀️21 WAYS to STOP Abandoning yourself 
The Worry-Free Flow-Chart for Relationship Anxiety
Self Esteem KIT to learn to be GOOD ENOUGH, lovable and worthy from within

23: How to Heal your 🖤 Anxious Attachment Style (FAST) Part 1

📚 Attachment ✎ᝰ.Self-Study Vault 🫶🏻❤️‍🩹 (worksheets, guides, downloads, etc)
📢 ON SALE: 🖤 Attachment 101 Master Guide 🖤(👀 Anxious spin to Secure within)
 
How to Heal Your Anxious Attachment Style (Part 1)
Are you constantly overthinking every little thing your partner says or does? 🧐Feeling anxious every time they need space or don’t respond right away? 📱And maybe, you’re always wondering if they’re going to leave you? 😥
Trust me, I’ve been there. I know what it feels like to be stuck in that cycle. But here’s the thing: You can heal. 🖤
In this episode, we dive deep into 3 key ways to heal your anxious attachment.
Plus, I’m sharing the 6 areas of transformation that will guide you on this journey toward feeling more secure, calm, and confident in your relationships.
You’ll also understand why taking action NOW is a game-changer, and how starting TODAY can lead to long-term healing and emotional freedom.
Listen in for insights, strategies, and a reminder that you can totally break free from those anxious thoughts and fears.
Enjoy the journey to secure attachment! 🎧 Yayy.
Lots of love, Jula Your Anxious To Secure Coach
 
🎧💌📖 FREE COURSE: How to stop overthinking in Your relationships 
25 free resources and worksheets...
 
📢 ON SALE 📢 
TEXT ANXIETY - How to STOP obsessing over their text in 21 days or less (it's never about the text..)Mini Course:
STOP OVERTHINKING Your Relationship with your AVOIDANT Partner in 4 STEPS Mini Course:
 

22: ❤️‍🔥 Valentines Day Anxiety? I've got you.

❤️‍🔥 Valentine’s Day Anxiety? Let’s Talk.
📢 ON SALE: 🖤 Attachment 101 Master Guide 🖤(👀Anxious spin to Secure within)
 
If you’re a hopeless romantic, you LOVE love, or you’re a highly sensitive person (HSP) like me, Valentine’s Day can feel like A LOT. The pressure. The expectations. The overthinking. 🚨
I wasn’t even planning this episode… but then I looked at the calendar and realized—this day can be a HUGE trigger for anxiety. So, I grabbed my mic and recorded something just for you.
 
In this episode, we’re diving into:
✨ Why Valentine’s Day can send your anxiety into overdrive✨ The ‘should’ traps that make you spiral✨ How comparisons & love language misunderstandings create tension✨ The BIG mistake anxious souls make when looking for security✨ And most importantly—how to shift your thoughts so you actually enjoy the day (without losing your mind).
 
If Valentine’s Day feels heavy, this episode is your reset button. 🎙️
 
📚 Attachment ✎ᝰ.Self-Study Vault 🫶🏻❤️‍🩹 (worksheets, guides, downloads, etc)
🎧💌📖 FREE COURSE: How to stop overthinking in Your relationships 
25 free resources and worksheets....
 
 

21: ONE tool that works for ALL Anxious Archetypes

The ONE Tool That Works for ALL Anxious Archetypes 🎧
I’ve been using this tool in my own life and relationship, and let me tell you, it’s a GAME CHANGER. 🎮
It’s called THE OPPOSITE SKILL 🪄, and it’s a must-know if you’re working on calming your nervous system and transforming how you react in moments of anxiety or conflict.
Here’s the deal:
When we feel anxious, our bodies go into fight-or-flight mode. Our heart races, our breath becomes shallow, and we feel the need to either run away or defend ourselves. This is your body trying to protect you, but when it comes to relationships, this can be EXHAUSTING. 😣
That’s where the Opposite Skill comes in. It’s all about doing the opposite of what your body is telling you to do—essentially, teaching your brain that you’re safe. 🧘‍♀️
 
🎙️ In this episode, we’ll talk about:
💪 How anxiety triggers our fight-or-flight response in relationships🧠 Why the Opposite Skill helps reset your nervous system🪄 How to apply the Opposite Skill for each Anxious Archetype (The Warrior, The Dreamer, The Pleaser, and The Overachiever)💖 My own personal experience and how this tool has helped me stay calm when triggered
Trust me, if you’ve been feeling like your nervous system is on overdrive, you’ll want to hear this.
🎧 Listen now
 
🖤✨ Jula
P.S. This is your reminder: YOU are safe, even in those tough moments. Let’s reset and find your calm together. 💖
 
FREE STUFF
💎 FREE MINI 💎:  Free mini-course: 5x5 lessons STOP Overthinking Your Relationships 🥹❤️‍🩹
 
MORE
🫶 Instant Download my ATTACHMENT Master Guide: 149 pages (secrets, stories, jaw dropping realisations of how to transform your attachment...)
Attachment Style QUIZ - Do you REALLY have an anxious attachment style?
 
👀🫣 Find out your Anxious Archetype (3min FREE QUIZ)
 
🤍 COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING 🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
 
Resources:
🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
🤍 COACHING:
1:1 VIP SOS Session
 
 
Disclaimer: My content is not meant for anyone in abusive relationships.

20: 😳Anxious Attachment: Is it Love or Anxiety?

Are You in Love… or Just Anxious? 🎧
🖤 Secure Self-Study Vault 🫶🏻🖤
Let’s get real for a sec… is it love or anxiety is an important question in realtionships.
If you have an anxious attachment, this question can feel like a full-on identity crisis. Because when you meet someone, it can feel SO intense—like they’re your whole world overnight. But is that deep love, or just the fear of losing them?
This week on The Anxious to Secure Podcast, we’re breaking down:
❤️‍🔥 The FEAR that’s actually driving anxious attachment⛈️ Why you don’t need to panic—even if this hits hard✨ 8 journaling prompts to find out if you’re staying out of LOVE or FEAR🧠 The science behind excitement vs. anxiety (because YES, your brain is playing tricks on you!)💡 The truth about different relationship stages—so you stop mistaking chaos for connection
If you’ve ever wondered, Am I in love? Or am I just attached?—this episode is for you.
 
FREE STUFF
💎 FREE MINI 💎:  Free mini-course: 5x5 lessons STOP Overthinking Your Relationships 🥹❤️‍🩹
 
MORE
🫶 Instant Download my ATTACHMENT Master Guide: 149 pages (secrets, stories, jaw dropping realisations of how to transform your attachment...)
Attachment Style QUIZ - Do you REALLY have an anxious attachment style?
 
👀🫣 Find out your Anxious Archetype (3min FREE QUIZ)
 
🤍 COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING 🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less