The Anxious To Secure PODCAST

94: 6 tiny feminine 🎀༘ MICRO habits to heal your Anxious Attachment style PART 01

If you’ve ever felt like no matter how much “inner work” you do… your anxiety still runs the show.. this episode is going to change how you see healing 🖤
In this episode, I share 6 tiny feminine micro habits that helped me rewire my anxious brain and finally feel SAFE in love.No huge routines. No big life changes.Just small, daily shifts in how you do things, not what you do.
 
 
Because anxious attachment is actually stuck masculine energy  always controlling, chasing, fixing.Safety doesn’t come from control.It comes from letting go.From softening, trusting, and allowing life to move through you. 
You’ll learn how to:✨ Slow your body + mind so your nervous system feels safe again✨ Stop over-managing others and finally breathe in your relationships✨ Use your voice + movement to regulate your anxiety✨ Shift from “doing” to “being” — the feminine way
 
One tiny habit at a time, you’ll begin to feel more secure, calm, and connected...both with yourself and your partner.
 
Time Stamps:00:00 Intro: Why changing how you do things changes everything01:43 Micro Habit 1 — Slow Down Physically04:06 Micro Habit 2 — Release Control of Others05:58 Micro Habit 3 — The “What If Positive” Hack08:32 Micro Habit 4 — Use Your Voice in New Ways10:36 Micro Habit 5 — Shift Your Physical Activities14:24 Micro Habit 6 — Slow Down Mentally17:43 Closing Thoughts19:29 Why Becoming Secure Really Matters
 
🎧 Next up:
Part 02 dives into the emotional side of feminine energy.. letting go of perfectionism, embracing vulnerability, and fully receiving love.
✶ New episodes every Tuesday + ThursdaySubscribe so you don’t miss the next one!
If you loved this episode, take a screenshot, tag me on Instagram, and tell me which micro habit you’re trying first 🖤
 
 
 
🖤 FREE Attachment LIBRARY
(worksheets, prompts, quizzes and more)
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
🖤 Attachment Style QUIZ 
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
 
Listen back to EPISODE 46:
"How to Heal Your 💗 Feminine Energy + Anxious Attachment in Your Relationships (5 Steps)"
Spotify: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-enxxw-18a55d4
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uR3XhGPCJY&list=PLkaamihHgLaGB8Cui2BEQqnZDO5jK2GYf&index=41
 
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

93: 🔎 5 dating questions to spot the avoidant (or secure one) EARLY on

Ever wondered how to SPOT an avoidant early on, or what a securely attached partner actually looks like?
Dating can feel like a minefield when you have an anxious attachment, right? 🧠
You meet someone, start to get attached, and only later realize they’re emotionally unavailable. They pull away. You overthink.
Suddenly, you’re stuck in the same anxious spiral, replaying the same patterns again and again. 
In this episode, I’m showing you how to spot avoidant tendencies early, understand attachment patterns, and recognize what a secure, emotionally available partner actually looks like.
 
Because the goal isn’t to judge... it’s to create awareness, so you stop chasing mixed signals, stop overextending emotionally, and start investing in the people who actually make you feel calm, seen, and safe. 🖤✨
By the end of this episode, you’ll know:
How anxious and avoidant patterns secretly show up in early dating
Why you keep feeling pulled into the same exhausting cycles
How to spot secure energy so you can attract healthier connections
Ways to protect your nervous system and emotional wellbeing while dating
 
🖤 ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
🖤  ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text (because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
Free Quiz: Find your top 2 Relationship needs (before your subconscious will sabotage you by meeting it in unhealthy ways, through like overthinking, clinging too hard to chasing)
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/needs
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Understanding Attachment Styles in Dating01:42 Question 0104:49 Question 0209:21 Question 0313:40 Question 0418:20 Question 0520:50 Bonus Question23:02 Key Questions to Identify Attachment Styles
 
🖤 FREE Attachment LIBRARY
(worksheets, prompts, quizzes and more)
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
🖤 Attachment Style QUIZ 
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
 

92: Too much ❤️‍🔥 masculine energy? how it triggers your ANXIOUS attachment and heal

Free Quiz: Find your top 2 Relationship needs (before your subconscious will sabotage you by meeting it in unhealthy ways, through like overthinking, clinging too hard to chasing)
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/needs
 
Too Much Masculine Energy? The Hidden Link to Your ANXIOUS Attachment
You chase, they pull away.
You panic, they withdraw. It’s exhausting. 🧨
Ever catch yourself texting again even though you already asked if they’re okay?
Or over-explaining something you said just to keep them from pulling away?
Or maybe you plan three dates in one week because you’re scared they might lose interest? If any of that sounds like you… you’re not alone. And it’s not your fault.
In this episode, we’re breaking down the hidden connection between masculine and feminine energy and anxious attachment patterns  the part no one talks about. 
You’ll discover:
Why anxious attachment isn’t actually feminine energy
How both anxious and avoidant partners get stuck in survival masculine energy
The nervous system secrets behind your tiny fight-flight reactions in love 
Practical ways to rebalance your energy so you feel safe, grounded, and fully yourself 
Real examples for anxious women and men showing what “secure energy” really looks like
By the end, you’ll know how to:
Pause before reacting
Notice your micro-chasing behaviors
Reconnect with your natural energy balance
Break the anxious-avoidant rollercoaster for good 
Stop overthinking.
Stop panicking.
Start holding space for yourself and your partner in a way that actually works.
Hit play and start seeing the hidden energy dynamics that are running your relationships  and how to finally take back your calm and confidence in love. 🎧
 
🖤 ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
 
🖤  ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text (because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
CHAPTER:
00:00 Understanding Anxious Attachment and Energy Dynamics02:46 What Are These Energies Really?04:20 The big myth: feminine = anxious, masculine = avoidant07:30 The Nervous System Connection09:44 Finding The Perfect Balance (with the 80/20 rule)13:58 Breaking The Cycle14:31 How to support your Avoidant Partner16:10 For The Anxious Attached Men21:14 Real Transformation22:53 5 STEP ACTION STEPS TO REBALANCE28:21 Reminder + Summary
 
Listen back to EPISODE 46:
"How to Heal Your 💗 Feminine Energy + Anxious Attachment in Your Relationships (5 Steps)"
Spotify: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-enxxw-18a55d4
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uR3XhGPCJY&list=PLkaamihHgLaGB8Cui2BEQqnZDO5jK2GYf&index=41
 
 
🖤 FREE Attachment LIBRARY
(worksheets, prompts, quizzes and more)
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
🖤 Attachment Style QUIZ 
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
 
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
 
 

91: Do avoidants come back after space + breakup?🥺 How to AVOID another Push-Pull Cycle

Attachment Style QUIZ 3 min FREE
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
 
Breakups with avoidant partners can leave you feeling confused, anxious, and stuck wondering: Will my avoidant ex ever come back? 🖤
 
In this episode, I dive deep into what avoidant partners do after a breakup, including the 3 stages avoidants go through when they pull away, how they process space, and why they sometimes reach out again.
 
You’ll learn:
★ How avoidant exes think and feel after a breakup
★ Signs your avoidant ex might be missing you
★ What happens when avoidants need space
★ How to stop the push-pull cycle with an avoidant partner
★ How to protect yourself emotionally while an avoidant processes their feelings
 
If you’ve ever Googled “why does my avoidant ex pull away but still care?” or “do avoidant partners come back after a breakup,” this episode is for you. Understanding these stages helps you set boundaries, stay grounded, and take control of your healing—no guessing required. ✨
 
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Understanding Avoidant Attachment After Breakup
02:21 Stage 01: Emotional Shutdown
07:30 Stage 02: Quiet Reassessment
11:32 Stage 03: “I Actually Need This Person” ✨
16:15 What you should consider IF you get back together with the avoidant
17:52 Final Thoughts on Healing and Relationships
 
 
 
✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist
 
📓✍🏻Attachment Library (30+) FREE resources
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
 
COURSES ON SALE
STOP OBSESSING OVER TEXTS📱🧘🏻‍♀️ In 21 days or less
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
 
🧑🏼‍❤️‍🧑🏻 STOP Overthinking Your Relationship (4 STEPS)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
 
 
1:1 COACHING SUPPORT:
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
 
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
 
 
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
 
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
 
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

90: From inner CRITIC 😈 to Bestie: how to create REAL emotional Safety

How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship 🚫 🌀
(EVEN with your Avoidant Partner)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
Attachment Style QUIZ 3 min FREE
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
Think it’s the world… your partner… the people you date… making you feel unsafe in love? 🖤
What if I told you most of that emotional unsafety actually starts with your own thoughts the ones you barely notice, the inner critic running nonstop in your head?
In this episode of the Anxious to Secure Podcast, I show you how anxious attachment and your inner critic create the emotional chaos in your relationships and how you can finally take back control.
We dive into:★ How anxious attachment triggers the inner critic and makes you question your worth★ Why your inner voice gets so loud when you feel judged, unseen, or rejected★ The roots of self-criticism   from parenting, culture, media, and social comparison★ Step-by-step ways to soften your inner critic and reparent yourself★ How to build emotional safety with yourself first, so you can connect from a place of calm in your relationships
If you’ve ever Googled:
“how to feel emotionally safe in my relationship”,
“how to quiet my inner critic”,
“how to stop overthinking in love”, or
“how to be less anxious in a relationship”, this episode is for you.
 
You’ll learn practical ways to notice your inner critic, get curious about what it’s trying to protect you from, respond with compassion, and use actions...not just words—to show yourself safety.
This is about retraining your nervous system, reducing anxiety, and creating secure, loving connections with yourself and others. ✨
Whether you’re navigating dating, marriage, or friendships, understanding and soothing your inner critic is key to creating emotional safety in relationships and finally feeling truly seen, valued, and loved.
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Understanding the Inner Critic01:56 My personal Inner Story04:35 Connect your Inner critic back to your Roots06:44 Realise your Inner Critics Protective Drive07:22 What the Anxious Attachments Inner Critic Notices09:06 Visualisation to become your own Inner Parent11:13 3 Steps to Reparent Your Inner Critic21:01 Before + After: From HATE to LOVE23:44 Quick Recap
 
 
✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST 
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist
 
OFFERS:
🖤📱 ON SALE: "Stop Obsessing Over Texts in 21 Days or Less" 
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
 
Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

89: How to date without anxiously ATTACHING too FAST (4 Stages of Dating)

ow to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
 
Attachment Style QUIZ :
Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
Do you ever meet someone new and suddenly feel like he’s the one just because he’s nice, attractive, or gives you a few compliments?
🖤✨ If you’ve noticed yourself rushing into relationships like this, it’s not a coincidence.. it’s a sign of anxious attachment.
In this episode, I’m breaking down why your nervous system craves instant closeness, why you attach too fast, and how that speed can leave you anxious, overthinking, and ignoring red flags.
We’ll talk about the real difference between healthy interest and anxious over-investment, plus the biggest dating mistakes anxiously attached people make (texting too much, oversharing, canceling plans, imagining a future too soon).
✨ Ready to learn the secret behind anxiously attaching too fast, the hidden consequences in dating vs. how securely attached people actually date?
This insight can shift how you see yourself, your patterns, and the kind of love you’re building.
You’ll also learn how to slow down dating without losing attraction, how to build self-trust and emotional safety, and how to notice if someone is actually secure.. or just giving you temporary reassurance.
If you’ve ever asked yourself:
Why do I fall too fast in relationships?
Am I attached to the person, or just the comfort they give me?
How do I stop overthinking texts and rushing for labels?
…this episode is for you.
Tune in now to discover how dating at a steady, grounded pace helps you protect your energy, feel secure, and finally choose someone for who they are: not just the safety they represent.
Welcome to the Anxious-to-Secure Podcast with, me - Jula
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Understanding Anxious Attachment in Dating02:15 What Anxious Attachment Looks Like03:23 Mistakes That Happen When You Attach Too Fast in Dating07:19 How does Securely Dating + Slow Dating look like?08:22 How to date slowly when you first meet (Stage 01)10:02 How to date slowly in the TALKING Phase of dating (Phase 02)14:10 How to date slowly when you are officially DATING (Stage 03)16:38 How to date slowly when you're EXCLUSIVE (Stage 04)19:12 Tools to Stay Grounded During the Dating Stages20:13 Recap and Final Thoughts on Healthy Dating
 
Attachment Style QUIZ :
Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST 
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist
 
OFFERS:
🖤📱 ON SALE: "Stop Obsessing Over Texts in 21 Days or Less" 
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
 
Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

88: What happens when the AVOIDANT realizes they’ve LOST you? Understanding Dismissive Avoidants

How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
"What happens when a dismissive avoidant realizes they lost me?” 🖤✨ A question I get asked as relationship coach a bunch of times.
If you’ve ever found yourself replaying the breakup in your head, wondering: “Is he thinking about me? Does he even care? Will he ever come back?” this episode is for you.
I’ll walk you through the hidden emotional timeline of the avoidant partner after a breakup..the relief phase, the delayed grief, and the subtle breadcrumbs they drop instead of saying “I miss you.”
We’ll explore why they seem fine right away, why their emotions hit them months later, and the indirect ways they try to reconnect when vulnerability feels too dangerous.
Think of it like opening a locked safe..their feelings are inside, but the timing of when they surface might surprise you.
You’ll learn:★ Why avoidants really pull away when things feel “too close”★ The difference between breakup relief and delayed grief★ How to spot those tiny breadcrumbs that mean more than they let on★ Why their suffering shows up AFTER you’ve already cried your tears★ Four powerful steps YOU can take to reclaim your energy and move forward with confidence
This isn’t about waiting for them to change—it’s about understanding the avoidant attachment style better, so you can stop second-guessing yourself and finally put the focus back on YOU.
If you’re anxiously attached and stuck in the “what ifs,” this episode will give you clarity, relief, and a path to heal while they’re still wrestling with their locked-away emotions.
Press play, and let’s unpack what really happens when the avoidant realizes they lost you. 📓🖤✨
 
CHAPTER:
00:00 Understanding Avoidant Attachment After a Breakup01:10 What is an Avoidant Attachment Style?02:13 How This Leads to a Breakup03:59 Why They Pull Away06:35 The Breakup RELIEF and Delayed Grief09:43 Indirect Ways They Show They Care11:15 Why Anxious hurt DURING relationships, Avoidant’s AFTER13:14 Empowering yourself after a Breakup 4 Steps16:28 Step 0117:25 Step 0218:12 Step 0318:49 Step 0419:32 Remember THIS
 
Attachment Style QUIZ :
Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST 
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist
 
Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

87: how to spot emotionally UNAVAILABLE men🕵🏻‍♀️🚩10 CLEAR Signs

➞ FREE Attachment RESOURCES
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
You know that gut-wrenching feeling when he’s into you one moment and distant the next?
When you’re left wondering why he won’t open up, or why your stomach drops every time he pulls away?
That’s what happens when you’re dealing with someone who’s emotionally unavailable.
In this episode of the Anxious to Secure Podcast, we’ll break down 10 clear signs of emotional unavailability… plus a bonus one at the end you don’t want to miss.
This will help you spot the patterns fast when you’re dating, or finally understand why your anxiety spikes in your current relationship.
And before we start:
this isn’t about blame 💛 it’s about awareness. Awareness is step one in protecting your heart and nervous system.
We’ll talk about what it really means to be emotionally unavailable, especially in dismissive avoidants…why they crave closeness but fear it, how mixed signals and lack of affection leave you anxious, and the painful gap between what they say they want and what they actually do.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing all the emotional work, begging for crumbs of affection, or whispering in your head,
 
“Does he even care?”… this episode will hit home.
Stick with me until the end, because the bonus sign reveals why words and actions so often don’t line up… and why that mismatch keeps you stuck on people who feel impossible to reach.
 
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 10 Signs He’s Emotionally Unavailable00:36 What is the Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style at all?02:45 01 They dodge deeper conversations04:35 02 They’re inconsistent in communication06:24 03 They don’t prioritize you07:43 04 Fear of commitment or future talk09:38 05 They invalidate your feelings10:58 06 Affection feels limited or conditional12:07 07 They disappear under stress13:06 08 Overly focused on independence13:57 09 Mixed signals14:50 10 You feel emotionally starved16:20 BONUS SIGN: Actions vs. Words in Relationships18:31 If you are attracted to THESE men - WHAT NOW?
 
Attachment Style QUIZ :
Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST 
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist
 
Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

86: dismissive AVOIDANT ❤️‍🩹 emotionally UNavailable, or just NOT that into you?

☁️ Grab your The Worry-Free ☁️ Flow-Chart for  Relationship Anxiety
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/worryfree
 
Have you ever dated someone who felt close one moment and distant the next? Or maybe you’ve wondered if your partner is emotionally unavailable, avoidant attached, or simply not interested at all. 🖤
This episode untangles one of the most confusing parts of modern dating and relationships: the difference between emotionally unavailable men, dismissive avoidant partners, and those who are just not into you.
Inside, you’ll hear:
What “emotionally unavailable” actually means (and why even secure men or husbands can go through it).
The difference between a partner who’s avoidant attached vs. someone temporarily checked out.
How emotionally distant partners show up in dating, relationships, and marriage.
The one question to ask yourself when you feel stuck over their mixed signals.
This episode of the Anxious to Secure Podcast,
I break it all down so you’ll finally know whether your partner’s distance is a passing phase, an avoidant attachment wound, or a sign they don’t want a deeper commitment.
If you’ve been replaying texts, questioning your worth, or wondering why your emotionally unavailable boyfriend or husband won’t open up…this episode is for you…
 
FREE ATTACHMENT: 
 
Attachment Style QUIZ :
Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
✅ The Anxious TO Secure CHECKLIST 
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist
 
Find your TOP 2 Relationship Needs 💁🤌🏻 to STOP sabotage (free Quiz)
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/needs
 
🕵🏻‍♀️ Challenge Your Thoughts CHEAT SHEET
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/challenge
 
 
➞ SHOP + MORE FREE RESOURCES
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
 
 
CHAPTER:
00:00 Understanding Emotional Availability01:33 What does “emotionally unavailable” actually mean02:22 SECURE but Emotionally Unavailable04:34 Emotionally Unavailable (general, not always avoidant)05:55 Avoidant Attachment (dismissive avoidant)10:52 The Reddit Take13:12 The “Just Not That Into You” piece14:49 Final breakdown18:17 In short ASK yourself THIS
 
 
Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

85: Do I Have an Anxious Attachment Style? Free Attachment Style QUIZ

Attachment Style QUIZ –
Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
 
Ever catch yourself panicking when someone pulls away… overthinking every text… or feeling like no matter how much love you get, it’s never enough?
If that sounds like you, this episode is MADE for you. We’re diving into attachment styles
secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized so you can finally understand why you feel the way you do in love. 
This isn’t about labels or “fixing yourself.” It’s about awareness, clarity, and seeing your patterns with curiosity. ✨
 
I’ll walk you through:▶️ A 10-question quiz to see your attachment style▶️ Real-life examples of each style in dating & relationships▶️ The difference between anxious and disorganized attachment▶️ How to start creating security from within—without needing your partner to “fix” anything
 
Bonus:
I share my personal story of realizing why I overthink, panic, and crave reassurance, and how that awareness changed everything in my relationships.
Grab your notes app 📝 or a piece of paper, and let’s get clarity on your love patterns—so you can start feeling safe, confident, and seen in love.
 
This quiz is your roadmap to understanding yourself, your nervous system, and your patterns in love.
🎧 Listen now and start seeing your relationships in a whole new way.
 
Grab more FREE resources:
ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
Like….
Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety
✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
 
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CHAPTERS:
00:00 Understanding Attachment Styles02:39 Free Attachment Style Quiz04:07 Question 0104:35 Question 0205:01 Question 0305:20 Question 0405:54 Question 0506:33 Question 0607:14 Question 0707:34 Question 0808:07 The Quiz Result09:30 Secure Attachment10:24 Anxious Attachment12:24 Avoidant Attachment14:00 Disorganized Attachment15:56 What's the Difference between Anxious + Disorganised Attachment Style17:06 The TAKEAWAY18:27 Coaching and Support Options19:06 BIG attachment theory LIE