The Anxious To Secure PODCAST

78: PRACTICE: The 3 Shift Anxious to Secure Attachment- Embodiment Practice

Feeling anxious, overthinking, or unsure in your relationships?
Thinking won’t help: action is the solution.
This guided visualization and embodiment practice is designed to help you retrain your mind and body to create security from within. I’m Jula, your anxious-to-secure attachment coach, and I’ll guide you step by step to reconnect with the calm, confident, and grounded version of YOU that’s always been there beneath the anxiety, doubt, and fear.
This practice is all about identity shifts. Over time, we can lose touch with the steady, secure self we were born with. Childhood patterns, fears of rejection, and old survival strategies can make us overgive, overthink, or feel insecure. Through this session, you’ll gently explore new ways of showing up—moving from anxious to calm, from overthinking to present, from insecure to confident, from overgiving to setting boundaries, from loneliness to connection, and from doubt to worthiness. Each shift is anchored in your body, mind, and imagination so it becomes a natural part of you. 🌻✨
Here’s why it’s so powerful: your brain learns best through imagery, rehearsal, and embodiment. By seeing yourself handle triggers differently, linking new movements to each shift, and feeling the emotions in your body, you train both mind and body to respond securely in real-life situations. This is how I personally rewired my anxious attachment, stepping into a secure, confident self that I already had inside me, beneath all the old patterns. 🧠💛
 
The session follows a simple, transformative three-step process:
Step 1: Choose your shifts. Focus on no more than three identity shifts at a time- like moving from anxious to calm, overthinking to present, or insecure to confident. These are the core areas you want to embody more in your life.
Step 2: Anchor each shift with a movement or gesture. Simple body practices like lifting your chest, grounding your feet, placing a hand on your heart, or striking a power pose help your mind and body remember the new way of being. Linking a shift to a role model or metaphor..like a calm lake, a strong mountain, or a shining star..amplifies the effect.
Step 3: Visualize and rehearse daily. Imagine handling old triggers in your day-to-day life as this new version of yourself. Each time you practice, even 1%, you become more aligned with your secure self. Over time, these shifts become second nature, and your anxious patterns naturally soften.
 
This practice works best when your mind is open and suggestible - before sleep, first thing in the morning, or after meditation or breathwork, when your brain is in a theta state. By visualizing, embodying, and rehearsing calm, confident, and grounded responses, you can literally rewire your brain and nervous system, creating security from the inside out. 🌤🖤
 
Throughout the session, you’ll also journal and reflect on the parts of yourself you want to release, and notice how each shift feels in your body. Over time, these small, consistent practices build real confidence, self-trust, and inner calm. You’ll stop reacting from fear and start living from love, naturally attracting healthier, steady, and mutual relationships.
💭 Remember: this is a safe, guided practice. Not a replacement for therapy. Make sure you’re in a comfortable space, sitting or lying down, and give yourself permission to pause, explore, and embody these shifts fully. Step into the secure, grounded, confident version of yourself, little by little, day by day.
 
You’ve already had this secure self inside you all along. This practice helps you remember, embody, and strengthen it, even in moments that used to trigger anxiety or self-doubt. Take a deep breath, feel your energy settle, and step into the calm, playful, confident YOU.
 
 
You can download this practice to get back to it anytime xx Jula
 
Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or Unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure and get support through anxious moments in your relationship or dating life)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
 
 
➞ SHOP: 🛒🛍️✨
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
 
COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻 (for little money but BIG transformations)
➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
 
Grab more 30+ FREE resources:
ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
Like….
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety
✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
 
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 

77: (5 hidden) LIES driving your relationship anxiety (Part 02) Cognitive Distortions

Ever catch yourself thinking…“Did I do something wrong?”“They’re pulling away... what if they’re losing interest?”“This relationship feels OFF, but I don’t know why.”
 
You’re not “too much.” You’re not dramatic.You might just be stuck in cognitive distortions...sneaky thought patterns that fuel anxious attachment and make you feel unsafe in love 
 
In this episode, I’ll walk you through the 5 most common cognitive distortions that mess with your brain and your heart when you’re dating or in a relationship.. especially if you feel hyper-aware, sensitive, or constantly looking for signs something’s wrong.
 
We’ll explore:Personalization... Why you blame yourself when they get distantNegative Filtering... Why your brain zooms in on the “bad parts” and ignores what’s going wellControl Fallacy.. That exhausting feeling of needing to fix everythingAll-or-Nothing Thinking.. The belief that one mistake means the whole thing’s doomedFortune Telling.. Why you assume the worst is coming, before it even happens
 
These mental habits can make you feel like you’re always on edge… reading between the lines… overthinking texts… bracing for the moment they leave 
 
But once you see these patterns...you can start challenging them And when you shift your thoughts, your nervous system starts to settle 
 
This is how you rewire anxious attachment from the inside out.
 
Which one of these distortions hits hardest for you?
 
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Understanding Cognitive Distortions in Your Relationship01:16 01 Personalization02:03 02 Negative Filtering02:52 03 Control Fallacy03:58 P.S. Have you tried therapy but still feeling anxious?05:16 Coaching vs Therapy09:23 04 All-or-Nothing Thinking10:26 05 Fortune Telling
 
 
Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
 
➞ SHOP:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money)
➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
 
Grab more FREE resources:
ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
Like….
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety
✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
 
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

76: *5 Stages* How to Heal & Rewire After a BREAKUP (when you have an Anxious Attachment)

This episode is for you if you’re in the breakup loops and trying to heal and move through it.You said you were DONE. You swore you wouldn’t reach out again.
But now you're spiraling. Checking their last seen. Reading old messages.Feeling that sick ache in your chest like you need them back just to feel okay.
 
When you have anxious attachment, a breakup doesn’t feel like “losing a relationship.”It feels like rejection, abandonment, like you're being erased.And your brain goes straight into panic mode.
 
In this episode, I’ll walk you through the 5 stages of healing after a breakup for the anxious type and WHY each one feels so overwhelming.
 
We’ll start with the protest phase.. where you might beg, bargain, chase, or act like “you’re fine” when you’re actually falling apart.
Then comes obsession + craving: where your nervous system feels addicted, and you can’t stop analyzing or fantasizing.
Next is the shame spiral: that voice in your head saying “It’s because I wasn’t enough.”Then the grief + loneliness: that deep pain when the distractions wear off and the reality hits.
And finally: the rewiring phase where you stop chasing a person and start repairing your inner safety.
I’ll also show you where you might be getting stuck  like looping in the fantasy, hoping they’ll come back and finally give you what they never did.Or mistaking anxiety for intuition.Or trying to “heal” while secretly waiting for a text.
This isn’t about pretending you're over it.This is about understanding what’s happening in your body, in your attachment system, so you can stop abandoning yourself to stop the pain.
 
You don’t need to be perfect to heal.You just need the right map Let’s walk through it together... step by step.
 
 Listen now & start breaking the cycle to rewire and heal from a breakup.
Or watch on youtube and leave me comments, I love to be there for you xx
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Understanding Breakup Healing and Anxious Attachment02:45 Stage 1: Shock & Panic Mode = Denial04:47 Stage 2 : Anger & Shame = the ANGER STAGE08:27 Stage 3: Bargaining, Craving & Obsession = Bargaining13:51 Stage 4: Loneliness & Identity Collapse = Depression16:02 Relationship Coaching if you like support16:40 Stage 5: Integration & Secure Rewiring = Acceptance20:52 Final Reminders that heal it ALL
 
Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
 
➞ SHOP:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money)
➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
 
Grab more FREE resources:
ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
Like….
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety
✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
 
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

75: *6 LIES* your brain tells you when you’re Anxiously Attached (and how THIS sabotages your Relationships without you realizing)

Ever spiral after a text delay?Feel rejected by a vibe shift?Think “this ALWAYS happens” - even if it’s just once?
That’s not you being “crazy” or “too much.”It’s your brain running on ✨anxious survival mode✨  whispering LIES it thinks will protect you 😳
In this episode, we’re calling out the 6 BIGGEST cognitive distortions your anxious brain tells you when it feels unsafe - and giving them a loving reality check 
 
You’ll learn:
🧠 Why “I feel it, so it must be true” is NOT the whole truth🪫 The sneaky spiral of catastrophizing (aka “it’s over” after a 3-hour text delay)🧨 How “mind reading” + “shoulds” quietly sabotage your connection🪞 Why your brain blames YOU (or them)  and what to do instead💬 Powerful coaching questions to interrupt spirals in the moment📝 A 7-day challenge to start REWIRING your inner stories + get real results
 
Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
 
➞ SHOP:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money)
➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
 
Grab more FREE resources:
ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
Like….
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety
✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
 
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 6 LIES Your Brain Tells You When You’re Anxiously Attached01:44 01 Emotional Reasoning03:43 O2 Overgeneralization06:28 03 Should Statements08:34 04 Labeling and Blaming10:11 05 Mind Reading12:49 06 Catastrophizing15:05 Challenging Cognitive Distortions to feel less anxious15:53 Cognitive Distortion Exercise for 7 days
 
 
This episode will help you stop believing everything your anxious mind saysSo you can:➞ Create more emotional safety➞ Stop the spiral before it ruins your connection➞ Trust yourself again
 
PS: Awareness is powerful…But action = real transformation
 
▶️ Listen in now to spot your anxious brain’s biggest tricks — and rewrite themYour future secure self is already PROUD of you
Ready to stop spiraling, chasing, and questioning your worth in love?
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

74: "Dear AVOIDANT Attachment" -If Anxious Attachment Could Speak - 5 Things They’d Say

“I’m not trying to control you… I’m just scared.”
If you’ve ever wished your avoidant partner really understood what’s happening inside your body when they pull away…
This episode is for you
It’s a love letter from your anxious attachment style to the person who feels hard to reach.
And maybe…You’ll want to share it with them 💌Not to convince or fix anything - but to finally FEEL SEEN.
 
What’s inside this episode:
🫂 5 powerful truths the anxious partner wishes they could say (but didn’t have the words for)💭 “I’m not trying to be clingy... I’m trying to feel SAFE.”🪫 The real reason anxious people overgive, chase, and people please🧠 Why their nervous system spirals at even tiny signs of distance🪞 Why they hide their needs + make themselves SMALL to stay close💬 What they need when the avoidant partner shuts down or gets overwhelmed🌊 Why healing together - even with different styles - is possible
 
✨ Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
 
➞ SHOP:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money)
➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
 
Grab more FREE resources:
ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
Like….
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety
✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
 
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Understanding Anxious Attachment better00:53 Dear Avoidant Attachment Style... I would love you to know about me (the Anxious Attachment Style))01:00 01 "I’m not trying to control you. I’m just scared."03:00 02 "It’s not just about YOU. It’s about my past."04:09 03 " I don’t WANT to be this way."04:57 04 "When you shut down... I feel invisible."06:07 05 "I want love to feel safe... for both of us."
 
You don’t have to hide how deeply you feel.Or apologize for how your nervous system responds.You are NOT “too much.”You’re just trying to feel safe 🖤
 
▶️ Press play if you’ve ever thought:“I wish I could explain my anxiety without sounding crazy.”“I want them to see the real me... not the panicked version.”“I’m not broken. I’m just scared.”
 

73: Why You Keep Attracting the Same Kind of Avoidant Person (Even When You Swear You’re DONE)

You thought you had finally learned the lesson.You told your friends, “I’m DONE with emotionally unavailable people.”You even went to therapy. Bought the book. Blocked the ex.But somehow…  here you are again…F
alling for someone who:➞ Pulls away when it gets deep➞ Says “I’m just not ready right now”➞ Makes you feel like you're “too much” just for wanting clarity 🩹🚪
It feels like you’re dating the same person in a different body Like your heart knows better, but your nervous system didn’t get the memo 💣
This episode is your loving callout + step-by-step breakdown of WHY this keeps happening... and HOW to finally shift the pattern for good ✨
 
Here’s what we’ll cover:✶ The hidden REASONS you’re drawn to avoidants (hint: it’s not just “low self-worth”)✶ Why your nervous system gets addicted to the chase 🔗💥✶ The unconscious ways you might be reinforcing the cycle (even while trying to heal)✶ How to finally interrupt the pattern and become a MAGNET for emotional safety 🧲🤍
 
And no, the answer isn’t “just love yourself more.” 😒This goes deeper — into your attachment system, childhood blueprint, and your identity around love.
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Understanding the Attraction to Avoidant Partners01:06 WHY are you attached to emotionally unavailable partners02:48 Why leaving your current avoidant partner is NOT the solution03:47 The role of CHILDHOOD in attraction04:47 Why you're not attracted to Secure people06:43 5 Steps to Break the Pattern and Addictive Chase07:23 01 Meet the NEED behind the craving08:03 02 Stop outsourcing your WORTH08:59 03 Make PAIN your wake-up call, not your home12:25 TWO WAYS TO WORK WITH ME RIGHT NOW ✨14:29 04 Choose a secure ENVIRONMENT on purpose17:36 05: Break the Fantasy + See the Reality18:52 Final Reminder
 
Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
 
➞ SHOP:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money)
➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
Grab more FREE resources:
ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
Like….
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety
✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

72: Dejon and Megan: The Anxious-Avoidant Trap on Love Island - Explained by a Relationship Coach

Have you ever felt stuck in a relationship where you're doing everything to make it work… but the more you try, the more distant they become?
 
Today, we’re diving into the viral anxious-avoidant trap through the lens of a very public couple: Dejon and Megan from Love Island UK 2025.
Yes, the ones who:✔️ Became boyfriend and girlfriend super fast✔️ Claimed to be the "strongest couple"✔️ Were dumped right before the final — after weeks of tension and arguments
 
They might have looked like the perfect couple on the outside…But if you’ve been following along, you probably felt it too:🌪 Something was OFF.
This episode is your deep dive into:➞ What actually was going on between Dejon and Megan➞ The classic signs of anxious and avoidant attachment➞ Why the cycle feels SO magnetic… but also exhausting➞ And what you can do if you see yourself in this pattern
 
This episode is NOT just about reality TV.It’s about YOU.The patterns playing out in your texts, your overthinking spirals, your constant craving for reassurance… or your urge to shut down and act chill when things get hard.
 
I’ll be breaking down:🔍 Megan’s anxious attachment signs: falling fast, people-pleasing, walking on eggshells🔍 Dejon’s avoidant behaviors: distancing, deflecting emotions, shutdowns during conflict💥 The emotional triggers + core wounds fueling the cycle🧨 The reason it feels SO HARD to walk away (even when you know it’s not working)🔗 And how to finally start breaking the cycle, step by step
 
Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
 
➞ SHOP:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money)
➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
Grab more FREE resources:
ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
Like….
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety
✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
 
00:00 Understanding the Anxious Avoidant Trap With Dejon and Megan from Love Island05:47 Signs of Anxious vs Avoidant Attachment in Real Life Couples09:16 Sign’s of Megan’s Anxious Attachment Style11:40 Signs of Dejon’s Avoidant Attachment Style15:17 Their Core wounds- the real emotional pain17:15 The Anxious-Avoidant Relationship Cycle: Why It Feels Addictive but Unsafe18:57 Why you're so attached...(it's not about your partner)20:51 How do you break the cycle if you’re in it?21:06 Step 0: STOP pretending everything’s fine.22:46 Step 1: Name the pattern23:41 Step 2: Take responsibility for YOUR side.24:38 Step 3: Do the inner work29:56 Step 4: Stop making your relationship your whole identity.31:15 How do I actually know if someone’s a narcissist or just avoidantly attached?35:00 Something most people get wrong
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

71."Dear ANXIOUS Attachment" - If Avoidant Attachment Could Speak - Things They’d Say to you

"Hey… it’s me. The avoidant partner you never quite understood."This episode is different 🖤 It’s a letter from Avoidant Attachment… to Anxious Attachment.
To the part of you that’s been chasing, aching, spiraling not knowing why they keep pulling away 🪞
If you’ve ever felt like:✨ “Why do they shut down when I get close?”✨ “Why do they ghost, avoid, or seem cold especially when I need them the most?”✨ “Why does it feel like they’re not even TRYING to love me back?”
…then THIS episode will crack open a whole new level of compassion + understanding.
This isn't about excusing avoidant behavior ❌It’s about understanding the nervous system behind the silence.The pain behind the distance.The fear behind the walls.
 
 
What you'll hear in this episode 🖤:
🗝 The avoidant partner’s real internal story (in their own words)🧠 How trauma taught them to self-protect, shut down, and “flee” from connection⚔️ Why conflict and closeness feel like danger💭 How their nervous system reacts to emotions (hint: it’s NOT logical)🧊 Why they retreat, not because they don’t care — but because they feel like they’ll FAIL you🪫 How their independence is a survival strategy, not rejection✨ What they’d say if they could speak their truth, without fear
This is for the deeply feeling, anxiously attached souls who keep ending up with distant partners……and want to finally understand: It’s not that you're too much. It’s that they were never taught how to be close. 🥺
 
✨ Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
 
➞ SHOP:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money)
➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
 
Grab more FREE resources:
ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
Like….
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety
✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
Chapters:
00:00 Understanding Avoidant Attachment01:26 Growing up, safety was missing - replaced by silence or criticism.02:02 My nervous system reacts with ‘flee’ - not fight or freeze.02:41 Conflict terrifies me - I’m hypersensitive to any criticism.03:20 Meeting your needs feels impossible because I don’t know how to meet my own.04:17 Sometimes I feel like my flaws are on display with you - and it terrifies me.04:48 Dear Anxious Attachment please know this:05:32 Reflection
 
✨ Whether you're healing from a past relationship, or currently navigating a push-pull dynamic — this episode will help you see the fear behind the avoidant mask, so you can stop taking their distance so personally and start choosing secure connection.
 
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

70: How to Emotionally Detach from Your Ex (Girlfriend / Boyfriend / Partner) in 10 Steps to stop your world from collapsing

If your breakup feels like the end of the world 🌪If your chest physically aches…If your brain knows it’s over but your body is still begging for one more text…This episode is for you 🖤
I’m walking you through 10 steps to emotionally detach from your ex - in a way that feels safe, slow, and actually doable when you're stuck in the spiral.
Because detachment isn’t about going numb.It’s not about deleting your feelings or pretending you’re over it.It’s about coming back to yourself with softness, safety, and self-trust.
 
I’ll show you how to:
✨ Stop retraumatizing your nervous system✨ Grieve not just the person — but the future you imagined✨ Break the addictive loop of checking their profile or rereading texts✨ Shift the emotional “hook” that’s keeping you stuck✨ Replace their role in your body with safety YOU create
And most of all  I’ll help you understand why it’s so hard to let go…Especially if you have anxious attachment, abandonment fears, or grew up needing love to feel okay.
 
Inside the episode, we’ll also explore:
🧠 Why your body still thinks they’re your safe person (even if your mind knows better)🖤 How to replace those dopamine “hits” with self-regulating rituals💭 What you’re actually missing (it’s usually not just “them”)📱 Why muting/blocking isn’t mean  it’s medicine🌱 How to rebuild your identity when you feel like you’ve lost yourself in the relationship
This isn’t just about moving on.It’s about healing the root — so you stop chasing, spiraling, or second-guessing your worth.
 
Hi, I’m Jula 🖤
I used to feel crushed by breakups. I didn’t know who I was without a relationship.But through deep healing work... I learned how to regulate my nervous system, stop abandoning myself, and become my own safe person.
Now I help others do the same.
If you're ready to stop checking their profile and start rebuilding your sense of self…this episode will walk you there, step by step.
 
 
✨ Want more support?
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
 
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
 
➞ SHOP:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money)
➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
 
Grab more FREE resources:
ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
Like….
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety
✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 How to Emotionally Detach from Your Ex (Girlfriend / Boyfriend / Partner) in 10 Steps00:27 What is emotional detachment?02:17 The 10 Steps to Emotionally Detach from your Ex02:27 1. Tell the TRUTH: They are not your safe person anymore04:19 2. Grieve the LOSS - not just the person05:53 3. Cut the cord - physically, digitally, and emotionally10:58 4. Shift the HOOK: “What are you actually missing?”16:41 (How to work with me 1:1 and create security from within YOU)19:13 5. NAME your core wound - it’s not about THEM22:24 6. Build micro-trust with your body + break the addiction routine24:32 7. Rebuild IDENTITY outside of them27:25 8. Grieve the fantasy - not just the person29:28 9. Practice REJECTION Reframes30:59 Bonus Exercise32:13 10. Visualize your secure self
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

69: Why Breakups Hurt So Much When You Have an Anxious Attachment Style (and your Avoidant Partner left you)

Why do breakups hurt SO much more when you have an anxious attachment style?
If you’ve been stuck in a breakup spiral, thinking about them 24/7, scrolling through old messages, checking their social media, and replaying every single moment in your head… you’re not alone.
 
But here’s the truth:
if you have an anxious attachment style, heartbreak isn’t just heartbreak. It feels like withdrawal. It feels like you’ve lost your safety net, your home, your EVERYTHING.
 
And there’s a reason for that. In this episode, I’m breaking down the 10 reasons why breakups hit so hard for someone with an anxious attachment style and it’s not because you’re weak or “too much.” It’s because your brain and your body are literally wired to react this way.
 
✨ Here’s what you’ll learn in this episode:✅ Why your nervous system feels like it’s in survival mode after a breakup✅ Why you keep replaying every text and conversation (and blaming yourself)✅ Why it feels like you can’t breathe without their reassurance✅ Why it’s not “just missing them” but an actual addictive loop your brain is stuck in✅ The REAL reason you feel shattered when they don’t give you closure
If you’ve ever wondered:“Why does it hurt THIS much?”“Why can’t I just move on?”“Why do I keep obsessing and overthinking months later?”
…then this episode is for YOU.
Because when you understand what’s REALLY going on inside you, you can finally stop blaming yourself-and start healing for real.
 
Listen now and tell me in the comments which one of these reasons hit the hardest for you.
listen now (or watch on youtube)
Because healing doesn’t start in the moment you spiral.It starts in the micro-moments you live every day.
 
Love,Jula – Your Anxious to Secure Coach 🖤
 
 
➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤
(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk
➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤
(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription
 
➞ SHOP:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
 
COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money)
➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
 
➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
 
 
Grab more FREE resources:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
What you'll find:
"He doesn't reply flow chart
anxious to secure the checklist
21 ways to stop abandoning yourself
the magnetic formula to re-atttract anyone again
stop being "needy" guide
Challenge your thought cheat sheet
End jealousy forever - mega guide 
 
and moooore
 
CHAPTERS:
00:00 Understanding Breakup Pain and Anxious Attachment01:24 0103:30 0204:34 0305:19 0407:05 0508:17 How to work with me10:30 0611:49 0713:16 0814:47 0915:57 1017:27 IN SHORT: Why breakups feel like life or death for anxious attachers
 
DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.
This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
 
Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.