The Anxious To Secure PODCAST

19: Anxious ARCHETYPE - Relationship Anxiety Tools 💕🛠 (Part 02)

MORE FREE RESOURCES:
💎 NEW💎:  Free mini-course: 5x5 lessons STOP Overthinking Your Relationships 🫶🏻🥹❤️‍🩹
Challenge Your Thoughts CHEAT SHEET: To stop running on Auto-Pilot
Learn to REASSURE Yourself + STOP Chasing External Reassurance
👀🫣Find out your Anxious Archetype (3min free QUIZ)
Stop Being Needy Guide: 3 Steps
Attachment Style QUIZ - Do you REALLY have an anxious attachment style?
 
🤍 QUICK MINI COURSES - SMALL:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner) Only for 47
TEXT ANXIETY Mini Course: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less - only 27
Anxious ARCHETYPE - Relationship Anxiety Tools (Part 2)
In this episode, we’re diving into PRACTICAL tools for each anxious archetype: Warrior, Dreamer, Pleaser, and Overachiever. Learn how to tackle relationship anxiety with journaling exercises, self-reflection techniques, and actionable steps designed specifically for your archetype.
 
What you’ll get:
A quick recap of anxious archetypes
Tools for breaking anxious patterns
Specific strategies to create emotional balance and calm
 
★ Takeaways ✨
★ Understanding your anxious archetype can enhance relationship dynamics.★ The warrior archetype often feels the need to control situations.★ Pausing before reacting can help in managing anxiety.★ Overthinking can be counterproductive and lead to emotional distress.★ Journaling can help clarify thoughts and reduce anxiety.★ The pleaser archetype often neglects their own needs for others.★ Setting boundaries is crucial for self-care and mental health.★ Rest is essential for self-worth and emotional well-being.★ One specific Mindfulness techniques can be beneficial for all archetypes
 
Chapters:🕒 00:20 Recap of Anxious Archetypes🕒 02:03 Warrior Archetype Tools🕒 09:51 Dreamer Archetype Tools🕒 11:25 Journaling for Dreamers🕒 16:14 Pleaser Archetype Tools🕒 25:35 Overachiever Archetype Tools🕒 31:38 A tool for every archetype
Go from relationship anxiety and low-key survival mode to feeling emotionally safe, regulated, present, and thriving again. ✨

18: Relationship Anxiety❤️‍🔥: The Problem with 'When You Know, You Know'

Are you waiting for this moment to KNOW if your partner is “the one”? 😳✨ (take me 3 min Anxiety or Intuition Quiz)
NEW:
💎 NEW💎:  Free mini-course: 5x5 lessons STOP Overthinking Your Relationships 🫶🏻
🤍 FREE WORKSHEETS + DOWNLOADS:
Stop Being Needy Guide: 3 Steps
WORRY-FREE Flow Chart: Free Download
Is it Anxiety or Intuition: 3min digital Quiz
Learn to REASSURE Yourself + STOP Chasing External Reassurance
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety
✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached
🤍 COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING 🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
Are you waiting for this moment to KNOW if your partner is “the one”? 😳✨
Ever find yourself wondering, “Is this THE relationship?” Waiting for that magical moment of certainty to just hit? 💭
Do you feel triggered when you hear the phrase "When you know, you know" … but YOU never knew? You’ve always felt uncertain. You’ve never had this big, WOW moment where your partner is just obviously "THE ONE."
Are you supposed to know?
Maybe you’ve never been sure about your partner or your relationship.
It’s called relationship anxiety… and I’ve got you. 🖤
Because honestly? That phrase used to trigger me hard when I felt uncertain in my own relationship.
 
Today on The Anxious to Secure Podcast 🎙️
We’re unpacking the myth of "When you know, you know"—and why it might be setting you up to doubt yourself and your relationship. 💔
But don’t worry, I’ll also share some empowering questions you can ask yourself instead.
 
In this episode, we’ll dive into…
⚡ How the "When you know, you know" myth creates unrealistic expectations.⚡ My personal story of doubt vs. certainty in my current relationship (spoiler: I had MORE doubts than ever after the honeymoon phase!).⚡ What real love actually looks like—and why it’s not black-and-white.⚡ How anxious attachment gets triggered when you feel uncertain.⚡ Coaching questions to help you stop overthinking and start building true security.
 
The truth?You don’t need a HUGE sign to feel safe in your relationship.
It’s not about waiting for certainty. It’s about doing the work, calming your anxious thoughts, and deciding to go ALL IN. ✨
 
Episode Breakdown
00:00 The Myth of "When You Know, You Know"01:23 Doubt vs. Certainty: My Personal Story02:43 The Truth About Real Love: It’s a decision, not magic.03:52 Why "When You Know" Feels Misleading05:05 Calm vs. Chaos in Love06:57 Rewiring Your Brain for Stability08:04 How to Know if They’re The One (Without Overthinking It)09:06 The Reality Behind “When You Know”13:46 You Don’t Need a SIGN to Feel Safe in Your Relationship20:02 How This ONE Thing Melted My Doubts20:39 “If It’s Not Easy, Then Something Must Be Wrong.”24:06 The Dangers of Comparison in Love and How It Fuels Doubt31:40 “When You Know, You Know” as a Perfectionism TRAP34:09 Coaching Questions About Doubts and Anxiety in Relationships36:10 The Real Question Isn’t “Is My Partner The One?”—It’s…
 
Key Takeaways
✨ The phrase 'When you know, you know' sets unrealistic expectations in relationships.✨ Certainty in love doesn’t magically appear—it’s built through action and commitment.✨ Attachment styles play a HUGE role in how we experience relationships.✨ Conflict is NORMAL in relationships and can lead to growth when handled well.✨ Comparing your relationship to others only creates unnecessary anxiety.✨ Real love is a decision you make daily—it’s not about perfection or ease.✨ Trust comes from consistent actions and open communication.✨ Focusing on the present moment reduces relationship anxiety.✨ Doubts are an opportunity to grow and deepen your connection.✨ Choosing each other daily is the foundation of a healthy, lasting relationship.
 
Ever find yourself wondering, “Is this THE relationship?” Waiting for that magical moment of certainty to just hit? 💭
Do you feel triggered when you hear the phrase "When you know, you know" …
 

17. Which Anxious ARCHETYPE Are You? Your Relationship Survival Response (Part 01)

Which Anxious ARCHETYPE Are You? Find out HERE
Your Relationship Survival Response...✨
Ever wonder why your anxiety shows up the way it does in your relationships? Today, I’m breaking it down with a fun and powerful framework: The 4 Anxious Archetypes—the Dreamer, the Pleaser, the Warrior, and the Overachiever.
These archetypes are all about HOW your anxious attachment plays out in different situations. From conflict to connection, each one reveals the unique way you respond to challenges in your relationship.
In this episode, we’ll explore:⚡ What anxious survival responses are and why they exist⚡ The 4 archetypes and how they protect you⚡ How to identify YOUR primary archetype⚡ Why recognizing this is the first step toward becoming secure
Your anxious behaviors don’t define you—they’re just one piece of the puzzle. Ready to uncover which archetype fits you best and start creating a more secure, confident version of yourself? 🎧✨
🖤 P.S. Don’t miss next week’s episode, where we’ll dive into actionable tools to work with your archetype!
 
🤍 COURSES:
💎 NEW💎:  Free mini-course: 5x5 lessons STOP Overthinking Your Relationships 🫶🏻🥹❤️‍🩹
 
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
 
MORE FREE RESOURCES:
Challenge Your Thoughts CHEAT SHEET: To stop running on Auto-Pilot
Learn to REASSURE Yourself + STOP Chasing External Reassurance
👀🫣Find out your Anxious Archetype (3min free QUIZ)
 
 

16: ⚖️ When Relationships with Your Avoidant Partner feels one sided 🥹

⚖️ When Relationships with Your Avoidant Partner Feels One-Sided
 
🖤 Secure Self-Study Vault 🫶🏻🖤
 
Does this sound like you?
You feel like you’re pulling all the weight.
You’re trying to fix the relationship, but your partner withdraws even more.
The relationship feels so one-sided.
The more you try, the more they seem to slip away.
You know giving them space is key, but NOTHING changes.
If you’re nodding along, this episode is for YOU. ✨
I’m breaking down:
Should relationships really be 50/50?
Signs you might be focusing on the WRONG things.
How to shift the anxious-avoidant dynamic (and STOP the cycle).
PLUS, I’ll touch on when it’s time to break it off—especially if you’re only accepting breadcrumbs. 🖤 While many of you are in healthy relationships with avoidant partners, this part will help you decide if you’re not.
It’s a JUICY one, so hit play now! 🎧✨  Love, Jula
 
Resources:
🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
🤍 COACHING:
1:1 VIP SOS Session
🤍 FREE WORKSHEETS + DOWNLOADS:
Stop Being Needy Guide: 3 Steps
WORRY-FREE Flow Chart: Free Download
🤍 COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING 🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach

15: 👩🏻‍❤️‍👨🏻 Secure VS Insecure Attachment - How we React differently to triggers (Part 2)

🚩When your partner's mood is "off"
…and how EACH attachment style would react differently.
Did you ever wonder how a secure partner would react? 
This episode continues the Attachment Style  Guide— I’m talking through how EVERY attachment style reacts to triggers differently... super revealing:
You’ll learn:🖤 Why anxious attachment triggers might feel overwhelming🌻 How avoidant partners often shut down instead✨ What secure attachment reactions actually look like (and how to get there)📓 The role of childhood in shaping these reactions
This isn’t just about anxious attachment anymore—it’s about understanding how ALL styles respond to triggers. 
🎧 Listen Now
Love, Bye byeeJula
P.S. When you get where your triggers come from,
you’ll feel more in control and secure in your relationship 💡
 
✅ The Anxious To Secure CHECKLIST ✅
❗ 6 Signs you have Abandonment Fears ❗
🤍 Anxious Attachment Inventory Exercise 🤍
 
🤍 COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING 🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach
 
🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
🤍 COACHING:
1:1 VIP SOS Session 
 
☎️ 30min Ice-Breaker Chat (to see if coaching is right for you)
 

14: Do My Parents REALLY Create My🤱Anxious Attachment Style?

Today, I’m breaking down why your anxious attachment isn’t always about your parents. 🧠✨
🚨Spoiler Alert: You can have a good, peaceful childhood and STILL end up with an anxious attachment style.
If you’ve ever wondered, "Why the heck am I like this when my parents were great?" — this episode is for you.
We’ll talk:✨ The 2 BIG factors that shape attachment styles (beyond just parenting)🌻 10 Micro examples to help you connect the dots in YOUR life🖤 How understanding this helps you stop taking your partner’s words and actions so personally
P.S. If you're a parent, I’ll also share how you can avoid passing these attachment patterns on to your kids. 💡
Enjoy! 
 
🤍 Jump on the Anxious To Secure Waitlist and get my BLUEPRINT on how I became securely attached in just 6 months.
😱📱5 Steps to Handle It When Your Partner Doesn’t Text Back 
🖤🤍 3min Attachment Style QUIZ  👀
📱 Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
✍🏼 Free Anxious Attachment Roots Journal Prompts
🧘🏻‍♀️ WORRY-FREE Flow Chart: Free Download
 
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach
🤍 KICK off your Coaching Journey: 1:1 VIP SOS Session

13: Secure vs. Insecure Attachment–Your Attachment Guide (Part 1)

Ready to learn more about relationships? Start with the 3min Attachment Style QUIZ, to find out if you're secure or insecurely attached.
Ever wondered..
👩🏻‍❤️‍👨🏻 🧪 What is the Strange Experiment?
What has this to do with baby's attachment styles?
Ever found yourself asking WHY you react the way you do in relationships?
Or why your partner seems to get defensive over EVERYTHING you say?
It all comes down to attachment theory...
In today’s episode, I’ll break it all down for you:
What is attachment theory and why it matters
The difference between anxious, avoidant, secure, and disorganized attachment styles
How babies’ reactions reveal their attachment style (it’s SO powerful!)
How these styles show up in conflict and emotions
How your upbringing shapes the way you attach to others
Ready to uncover how YOUR attachment style shows up in your relationships? 
Here is a quick overview in depth:
00:00 Why Attachment Theory Matters06:40 What is Attachment Theory?07:37 The Strange Situation Experiment08:22 How to identify Babies attachment style 13:40 The Square Analogy (Explaining Attachment in 4 Quadrants)13:53 The Secure Attachment Style: Secure Sarah14:57 The Anxious Attachment Style: Anxious Annie16:32 The Avoidant Attachment Style: Avoidant Andi18:14 The Disorganised Attachment Style: Disorganised Danni19:43 Roots of Attachment Styles25:40 The Impact of Childhood on Relationships
Resources:
🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
🤍 COACHING:
1:1 VIP SOS Session
🤍 FREE WORKSHEETS + DOWNLOADS:
WORRY-FREE Flow Chart: Free Download
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're
🙋🏼‍♀️21 WAYS to STOP Abandoning yourself: Free Download
Anxious Attachment Inventory Exercise: Goal Setting
🤍 COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING 🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach

12: Does your Partner really "make you feel" anxious? 🧠✨

Feeling like your partner is the reason for your anxiety?
Here’s the truth: it’s not what he does, says, or should say or do—it’s the story you tell yourself about what it means. It’s ALWAYS our thoughts that create our emotions.
🚩 Examples:
"He didn’t text back—what if he’s pulling away?"
"He’s dressing up for work. Jenny’s there. Am I not enough?"
"He asked for space. Does that mean he doesn’t love me?"
These fears don’t come from your partner—they come from anxious attachment and abandonment wounds.
🔍 The Real Work:
Ask yourself: What am I making this mean?
Rewrite the story: “He needs space, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean he’s leaving.”
Choose thoughts that feel true and safe.
Start challenging your thoughts today—because peace starts inside YOU. 🧠✨
 
Grab your Free Instant Downloads here:
WORRY-FREE Flow Chart: Free Download
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're
💭 CHALLENGE 🔍 Your Thoughts - CHEAT SHEET To Stop Running On Autopilot
 
Go deeper:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
Coaching + Offers
 
Instagram:
Chat + Send in some Questions for the Podcast
@the.anxious.to.secure.coach/

11: 10 Micro Relationship GOALS: How to Become 1% more Secure every day

✨ How to Become 1% More Secure Every Day ✨
START HERE: 3min QUIZ: Find Your TOP 2 UNMET NEEDS: To stop sabotaging Yourself
Ever feel like “becoming secure” is just too big to figure out? You’re not alone. In this episode, I’m breaking it down with:
10 micro-goal examples like pausing before texting for reassurance or naming the story in your head.
How to stop overthinking and take small steps to feel calmer every day.
Simple ways to rewire anxious thoughts using neuroscience.
These tiny changes helped me heal my anxious attachment—now they can help you too! 💛
For example..
Pause for 10 minutes before texting your partner for reassurance and remind yourself, "I'm safe."
Name the story in your head, like “He’s pulling away because I’m not enough,” and ask, “Is this a fact or just a fear?”
Challenge fear-based thoughts by asking, “What’s the worst-case scenario? Is it true?” and replace them with neutral thoughts.
 
Find out how to feel a little more secure starting today...
 
3min QUIZ: Find Your TOP 2 UNMET NEEDS: To stop sabotaging Yourself
 
🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
 
🤍 COACHING:
1:1 VIP SOS Session
 
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/

10:🎙️"If I let go, I'll lose my partner" Relationship Myth

In Episode 10 of the Anxious to Secure Podcast, we dive into a powerful relationship myth:
the fear that giving your partner space might make them fall out of love with you. 🤯
(I used to believe this and it created a big disconnection between us...)
If you're feeling unfulfilled or anxious when you're not around your partner, or if you plan your time around their schedule, you're not alone.
Lets chat about why (for anxious overthinkers) it can feel so difficult to let go of that constant need to be near them and how it can trigger deep fears of abandonment
(and your partners wounds too of feeling trapped). ✨
But here's the truth:
More space doesn’t mean less love.
It can actually strengthen your bond and give you the freedom to thrive individually. 🌻
In this episode, I’ll share how these fears showed up in my own relationship and how breaking free from them led to a more secure, fulfilling connection.
 
Ready to break free from the anxiety loop? Let’s explore how you can give both yourself and your partner the space you need to grow. 🧠
 
🤍 TRANSFORM YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE:
Anxious To Secure BLUEPRINT: Become secure 95% FASTER
 
🤍 COACHING:
1:1 VIP SOS Session
 
🤍 FREE WORKSHEETS + DOWNLOADS:
😱📱 Grab Your Free Guide: 5 Steps to Handle It When Your Partner Doesn’t Text Back.
Find Your TOP 2 UNMET NEEDS: To stop sabotaging Yourself
Learn to REASSURE Yourself + STOP Chasing External Reassurance
Magnet 🧲 : Re-Attract Your Avoidant partner Again with this Formula
 
🤍 Mini-COURSES:
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
TEXT ANXIETY: Stop Obsessing Over “No Replies” in 21 days or less
 
🤍  REQUEST PODCAST TOPICS:
Instagram: @the.anxious.to.secure.coach/